bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97397
 03.05.2014
I got a drink of juice at night. My husband opened his eyes and looked at me. I say to him "Do you want a juice?" he turns back sharply with the words "No shit!". I asked him in the morning what it was. “At night, you’re in the fridge and you’re frightened and you’re saying, ‘What are you, shit?’ How do I react?"

[ + 22 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97396
 03.05.2014
In waiting for questions and answers:
Tell a blind-deaf zombie named Kiselyov. What specific actions of Russia destabilize Ukraine? They do well without us.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97395
 03.05.2014
I called the bank and offered a loan.
I refused under the pretext that I didn’t need anything.
I asked, how do you say, right? Absolutely nothing?
He explained that he has reached full enlightenment.
He dropped the phone.

by kincajou

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №97394
 03.05.2014
I work in a small TC, under the side of a ATM, in which mobile communication can be paid without interest. Well about the fact that my money ended I understood when the SMS stopped going and according to the law of wickedness - important SMS. I throw everything, I run to this ATM, fucking, the girl is standing, young, the eyes glimpse in him. I stand up behind her, wait and look at the edge of my eyes - what she is doing there, well, I hurry. On the screen, select the amount and an empty window to enter your amount. This idiot in his finger, I understand too accustomed to the iPhone. I tell her - the keyboard below, enter the amount. Okay, it comes in, it runs, again the eyes lump. I say - press the input, then complete the operation. I think for a long time, but still thumbs what I said, on the screen the inscription that said, all cool, take your card otherwise in 45 seconds the ATM will eat the card and you will have to contact the bank. It is stupid. I say to her, girl, take the map, out she rolls. By then, she had been stuck for 15 seconds, and instead of following my advice, she suddenly turned to me and began to carry some kind of ahina, like "that you are so nervous that you are rushing me, and in general that you stood up behind my back, go away, etc. And so on until the ATM has not whispered and pulled her card into itself. I have not roasted so long. This was the rose she had. When I told her through laughter that the nearest departments would not start working before Monday, it had to be seen.

[ + 18 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97393
 03.05.2014
According to Japanese history textbooks, it is difficult to understand who and how used nuclear weapons, the country is depersonalized, Japanese youth perceives atomic bombing as an inevitable evil, many believe that atomic bombing is the work of the USSR. The theme of World War II is practically ignored and not studied.

Something suggests that your knowledge of Japanese school textbooks dates back to several patriotic sites and forums that post each other the same stuff.

Several years ago, the Japanese removed from the program the description of the atrocities of the Japanese military in the occupied territories. This caused a lot of protests. Even in Japan, this cannot be hidden from children.
The theme of World War II, if so, is about us. And it is replaced by the theme of the Great Patriotic, and with a colorful description of heroism and without consideration of those issues that can have more than one interpretation. And it is our graduates have no idea that the World War is not just a war between two countries in Europe.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97392
 03.05.2014
Ohhh... to warm up! I’ve seen shakes advertising on the box, such as "bla, bla, it seems that regular toothpaste cleans well, but look, there’s a bacterial plaque".
Q: Is this how you need to look to see a bacterial plaque?
Go into your mouth with an electronic microscope? O_O

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97391
 03.05.2014
Now I ask Yandex: What to see in Ust-Kamenogorsk? Yandex answers: Now you can check out the weather forecast for the week in Chornomorsk.
Actually exhaustive. The problem with the trip was resolved, the weather forecast did not work out without us.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №97390
 03.05.2014
You are here writing about various "blinds" and other wonders of the human race. I was hanging for a few minutes when a man wrote to me "I need to do this out of the lift". I thought long. It turns out, "square".

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №97389
 03.05.2014
I plushed:
here here :
Prometheus gave people fire. He was tied to a rock.
Danko illuminated the way for the lost. He was destroyed.
Jesus brought salvation to the soul. He was crucified.
Lincoln liberated the slaves. He was shot.
I wanted to do something good for people.
and----
What about people here? All four heroes did what was not beneficial to those with power: they gave more freedom to slaves. For what they got.
— — —
And Alexander II. He abolished serfdom and was killed in a terrorist attack.

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97388
 03.05.2014
First, what does the appearance of a woman have to do with the event? What, women of average appearance and worse in your wretched "logic" have no right, so I understand, to turn to men?

Do you come from a parallel universe? They finally think so! Everyone thinks so! A ugly woman can be stunned, you can count her, push her away, demonstratively let go of the heavy door in front of her, and roast with a friend. If you are at least three times polite, patient and quiet, the waitress in the cafe will come in the last row, the consultant in the store will ignore how much you didn’t grumble, sorry, you couldn’t... ", will only react when you go to the box office, but will flashingly jump to the beauty. The most starry was when the guy literally pushed me away with two bags from the free seat in the transport and sat down. I was alone in the salon. Next came a beautiful girl with a decoult, and the guy gave up her place.
So yes, they cynically say, "woman is a friend of man," and a ugly woman is generally a creature of the second kind, something like a mess of a drag horse and a cockroach. Believe a woman who was terrible even as a child.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №97387
 03.05.2014
Nokia connected to the car stereo system.
On the screen is written:
A new device has been discovered, the Hendai Tusson. Set up yes or no?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97386
 03.05.2014
Maelinhon: I’ve heard that motorists are often squeezed when walking... The bricks on the street pass through the quarter, etc. I laughed.
Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I read a paper book. I caught myself on the fact that I periodically automatically ticked into the page so that it didn’t go out...What did the gadgets do to me?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97385
 03.05.2014
XHH: Tell me where to buy a gift to my mom "How to live if my child is introverted"?
WOW: There is nowhere. Apple also bought...
Okay, I will write myself.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №97384
 03.05.2014
<cyberSpice> translate the text "These elephants eat apples."
<boojum> andcolbe tide ыnols itte
<stolz> boojum: in Uzbek?
<boojum> yes
<stolz> figured
<boojum> toothpaste
<stolz> and you really know Uzbek?
<boojum> and
<stolz> and the elephant will weep?
<boojum> no
<stolz> is it?
<boojum> yellow
<stolz> a
<stolz> there order another
<boojum> ugu
<stolz> :)
<stolz> has just arrived

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97383
 03.05.2014
This is:

@ the other. I love Japan very much, I live here for 6 months a year, I don’t understand one – WHY? How did they break their brains? America dropped two atomic bombs on them – and they kiss America in the ass? It is above me.

Did the Japanese know that the bombs were dropped by the United States? Or do they have something mistaken about this in the textbooks?


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97382
 03.05.2014
My childhood was harsh. If others ate cabbage for my mom, dad, grandfather, grandmother, and kid, then I ate them, if I stayed.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97381
 03.05.2014
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Today at work it was fun) The boss approaches one of the engineers of our department and says quietly: "We need to go down, silicone uncle to connect and adjust..." All the department went to silicone uncle to watch)) It turned out, the trainer "Maxim III-01" for cardiopulmonary and brain resuscitation with control of correctness of actions. Unfortunately, we have just finished the labs on labor protection, it is no longer possible to mock this mannequin... Although, judging by the cost, students will not be allowed to breathe on it)
But fucking, in the set even a sports suit and ceds for this Maxim were!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97380
 03.05.2014
Moxnatiy, for example, can you archive a collection of movies, music, photos that are stored on a 500GB HDD so that it all fits on a 16GB flash drive?
<NASH-MYASH> Moxnatiy: It is possible!
<Moxnatiy> NYAŠ-MYŠ: and how?
<NASH-MYASH> Moxnatiy: There was such an archivist. No one told me that I should be discharged!
Moxnatiy: In the time of FIDO there was such a fake archiver who cut off a piece of the compressed file and hid it somewhere on the disk, and the remaining small piece repackaged it to look like an archive, and issued it for the result.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97379
 03.05.2014
HH: It was such a joke! She went to preserve her course in the nursery, where she first gave birth. But I gave birth in the day, and here is the night, the holiday, the first of January, no soul. The door is closed and there is no guard. I have fights! But at thirty meters further on the fence, the same gate grows up. We are not proud, we go for a walk. I am passing by the guard house, from there, the uncle is sleeping, says, where are you? I say I’m lying to you! And he smiles like this: "You come to us early! We have a morge here. And at the birthplace in the previous passage, knock louder." Ppc.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №97378
 03.05.2014
I don’t know where else to ask.
If the software is not officially supplied to Russia, then there should not be a piracy claim? If so, they have strange sanctions.

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