bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №151191
 30.10.2018
I remembered a story about a decade ago. I was a young green engineer. And the director of the fashion factory appeared - every Friday after lunch he was gathering an extended meeting (a man for 30-40 participants), and for two or three hours he was fucking his brains about why everything was so bad. My boss was dragged there, and even me, because he and I led a very promising development for the factory.



Then another meeting. The director travelled through a bunch of services, then stumbled off on marketing, and summarizing, he said, saying, "to deprive the marketing of the premium! “” The guys from the marketing were drastically submerged - they had prizes for a significant portion of their salary. Some of them said something about us, the designers. Director, not stopping - "and the designers also deprive the prize! “” My boss right from the place, the director, “Let you go! “” The director shrinks, and says, “A statement to me on the table! “” The boss, not thinking long, takes an A4 sheet, writes a statement at his own request, and throws it to the director. There are 30 witnesses, I recall. The director took the statement, twisted his hands, then somehow confusedly and quietly said, saying, "well, they both got hot, it happens," made the statement, and returned the leaflet back. Since then, we have been invited to these meetings only when we could not do without us.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №151190
 30.10.2018
My uncle Kazakh, lived in Russia all his life, working as a teacher of physical education. He was sent to Kazakhstan for practice. At all classes he spoke Kazakh language. I noticed that the children were constantly confused. After a few lessons, the students asked him to speak Russian because they did not understand what he was saying.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №151189
 30.10.2018
In the morning, I am late to work, one hand clothes, the other trying to call a taxi. It will arrive in 7 minutes, well gone not in a hurry, and then it is cold on the street.

I go down the stairs, and here the man runs with a child's chair from the upper floors, well, he hits me with this chair on the shoulder, I told him something kind of more carefully needed, and he just ran down, only he raised his head on me.

I wait for a taxi. It is cold and it is late. In a few minutes, he rolls out of the courtyards, already in the salon, and this is the man who knocked me on the chair.

I went to the nearest lighthouse and he said:

Taxi driver: - Sorry for the long drive, I ordered right from home, and then the car warmed up...

I: I know you hit me on the stairs.

The taxi driver: Yes. ! to It was dark, and I looked like a bomb.

I: You know how to apologize.

The man just stumbled on me, the rest of the road passed silently.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №151188
 30.10.2018
I was recently invited to a meeting. All the 30 minutes it lasted told me how bad I was. I fought like Pancher's lion, trying to defend my right, but all my arguments and arguments were not taken into account. At some point, I even started to be frightened by dismissal. I am tired here. I quietly stood up from behind the table and headed out of the office, accompanied by the astonished eyes of all present. The boss remembered first.

to stand! Where did they gather? He rattled.

in the personnel department. You convinced me. I have nothing to do here. I’ll write on my own. – I calmly answered.

What kind of person are you? The boss breathed, why are you just starting to bite? Couldn’t you be in the meeting anymore? You will be fired and who will work? We have no claims to you. Go work quietly.

I have been in a couple of meetings since then. Everyone had their brains except me.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №151187
 30.10.2018
There are two levels of trust, yes and no.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №151186
 30.10.2018
Apparently, many people at work have such a man "smoking a cigarette", then he stops smoking, then forgot, then the moon from Mars fell, in general, an eternal shooter. Many scribes shared their teeth, and at the end of the month they borrowed money from him, and simply returned the blocks of cigarettes. This expression of the face cannot be translated in words.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №151185
 30.10.2018
According to polls, 40% of Russians do not know how to get to war with America with such a salary.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna