bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126172
 30.03.2016
There is an order to take 1-2 students to practice from your universe. I fell alone. Then it fell on your group again. He asked Loh the number from 1 to 22 - 13. Here you are here.)
...
So they would tell the person without admission to the HT that you and your life were examined under a microscope up to the seventh knee, and that they know about it because they are the subjects of admission to the HT, that in itself this information is the HT and is protected by law.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126171
 30.03.2016
My son doesn’t like tomatoes. Initially Well he doesn’t love and doesn’t like that I’ll be in him forcibly?
My mother, when she learned about this, shouted, “How does he not like tomatoes?” They are so useful!!and "
It turned out that the child lived for a long time with my grandmother, and then she proudly told me, say, and tomatoes he is now eating like sweet!
The child has returned home. I'm trying to give him a tomato salad - I think, once he eats, then I've tried and all that. What he reproached me:
“Mommy, I can’t tolerate tomatoes, you forgot?
Your grandmother has eaten them.
That’s because she got me!! to

Now the attention, the question. And fed...?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126170
 30.03.2016
Anonymous, we know you! This is the same mommy, who injected into the schoolchild and the one-year-old son a dull soup, not wanting the daughter to believe a word that it is shit, and then, full of mocking the children, tried the spoon herself and, swallowing off, poured the shit into the toilet! I even painted a picture of you!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №126169
 30.03.2016
The audience is small, we sit with a girlfriend in the first row until the couple started, I educate her about fickbook, I try to convince her that there is not only "all kinds of stuff", but also normal work.
I: Here, for example, L**********r, good fantasy writes. One disadvantage – there has been no sale since the summer.
And then suddenly it came out (!) It is hard to breathe: I will write a dissertation - you will have a continuation...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №126168
 30.03.2016
here here :

Diamonds of Flowers? The iPhone? The car? How can you now impress your girlfriend after that guy stole an airplane for his butt?

Washing dishes after dinner?
No need for aircraft.


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126167
 30.03.2016
And here I was covered: I have been a diabetic since childhood. I follow a very strict diet. I usually don’t explain anything to anyone, I just don’t eat everything. However, in the guests is often some good soul, who "exactly knows" that this chocolate cake is not harmful, and even useful and in general diabetes is treated with herbs, they will now tell me how.

To refuse, fucking ignorant. And trying to feed a diabetic cake polite, right?! to

There must be a doctor at the table to prove that alcohol is beneficial.
Not in small doses.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126166
 30.03.2016
And why has no one ever remembered the bearded joke about the cat in the dispute about the ham?! to
I am correcting the error, is it still a humorous resource?

The owner started feeding the cat. The cat goes to the bowl:
Fu, the grey!
On the second day, he said, “Fu, once again a strawberry!”
On the third day: - Fu, again the strawberry!
A week later, wow! The Greek!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126165
 30.03.2016
In Soviet times, even under Stalin, the Great Soviet Encyclopedia was published (such a paper pre-internet Wikipedia, if anyone does not know). And there was in this BSE article about some Berry L.P.
Then there was the exposure of the cult and all that. After that, all subscribers of the encyclopedia were sent (publishing) scissors and a new page. It was necessary to carefully cut off with scissors the page on which there was an article about Beria and paste there another page where this article was replaced with some other.
I actually do what. After the current authorities are drawing up with Lurk, comparisons from the past are involuntarily made. If the current censors were in power then, they would probably have seized and burned all the volumes of BSE because of one article.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №126164
 30.03.2016
God created mankind as two-sex and all-eating.
Fiva: So are gay people, vegetarians and other perverse people against God?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126163
 30.03.2016
<Senna> I looked here in a stumbling on the advertisement of the woodcut simulator, remembered the simulator of the driver, car mechanic, cleaner
<Senna> and invented a new game
<Senna> programming simulator in C++
<Senna> first level - hello world
<Senna> the hundredth - simulator of programmer on C++

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №126162
 30.03.2016
If in Russia they begin to talk about patriotism, know: somewhere something was stolen.
© Mikhail Evgrafovich Saltikov-Šedrin

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126161
 30.03.2016
XXX: wargameing padaras, pay little and before we worked with them, now we try to forget how a terrible dream
YYY: :) That is, with a large increase on the armor of one of the tanks, you can see the word "piddars"?
XXX: with a sufficiently large increase, the entire armor consists of small multi-colored inscriptions "pidarasa"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126160
 30.03.2016
I said that the cock and the glass are homeomorphic, even tried to give a popular explanation of homeomorphism on the fingers – figuratively, of course.

In the cock there is a penetrating hole from the clove to the ass. There is no hole in the glass. You are like a cup from a cock.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126159
 30.03.2016
A bomber with a shotgun, a cop with a tail, a knight with a spade, a retired man with a nun-chak... I’m not quite sure who is a fictional character and who is a real hero.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126158
 30.03.2016
I recently encountered a discussion of the feast label. Particularly liked the item "Inspiracy to refuse a meal if you are offered".

And here I was covered: I have been a diabetic since childhood. I follow a very strict diet. I usually don’t explain anything to anyone, I just don’t eat everything. However, in the guests is often some good soul, who "exactly knows" that this chocolate cake is not harmful, and even useful and in general diabetes is treated with herbs, they will now tell me how.

To refuse, fucking ignorant. And trying to feed a diabetic cake polite, right?! to

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №126157
 30.03.2016
Potter was crossing the river.
Seeing Potter in the Taze River.
Potter dropped his hand into the river.
Not about the Greek story.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126156
 30.03.2016
Alexander is
I suggest adding a priority "urgent" when submitting the application automatically receives the status "rejected" with the note "applications with this wording of priority are not accepted".

Alexander is
From the section "button "call the director foolish", by clicking which employee account is blocked and the window "you are fired for disrespect to the management of the company" appears."

I am
This is also a good idea, remember.
Useful in the helpline.

Alexander is
The typical trap. It is advisable with a confirmation window so that there is no “I accidentally pressed”.
“Do you really want to call the director a fool?”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126155
 30.03.2016
Commentary on the book:
The author is famous for the fact that excellent novels merge a little more than entirely in continuations. And this time it didn’t even freeze, it melted immediately. A strong couple.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126154
 30.03.2016
On the entrance door the announcement: " [something there in small letters] CARTON WITH US!!The brain instantly complements the phrase to: “Your potatoes are held hostage, if you don’t throw a suitcase of money into the garbage near the station at night, we will bury it in the ground alive.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №126153
 30.03.2016
Livsi: Citizens work well for the state, and the state protects, treats, teaches them.

Cadaver: I feel like citizens are venting the state with their work for how it protects, treats and teaches them, especially the guards, doctors and teachers.)

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