My friend's boss bought an Audi cabriolet when they were still very expensive "toys" and not everyone could afford such a car. One of the objects to talk about was the shooting arches, which worked out when the car started to turn to the roof.



A few months after the purchase, he was given the opportunity to test these arches as he lost control of the steering and flew out of a depth of about 10 meters.

The bows did their job, he survived, getting rid of just a few cuts and scratches from the bushes through which he flew. He got out of the car, climbed up the top to the side of the road, and then called the police to report the incident. While he was standing there, the driver of another car, who witnessed the accident, approached to talk to him.

Approaching from behind, the eyewitness asked if he was okay. My friend’s boss turned around to answer, and fell dead. It turned out that his neck was broken, but it was whole until he turned his head and there was a spinal cord rupture.

My mom’s friend had a small house, and he lived there alone. She began to notice strange things: the soup in the pot was shrinking faster than usual, often lacking eggs in the refrigerator, damp wipes in the basket that she didn’t use, excess dishes in the dishwasher, etc. This lasted for months and she just rejected it all for her forgetfulness. One day she heard some noise on the roof and went to look to see what was going on. She saw there the resemblance of rooms which were separated between themselves by leaflets. A small radio, plate, sleeping bag, pillow, food clothes, etc. She called the cops and told them about her discovery. Police began to monitor the woman’s house. Eventually, they caught a homeless man climbing a tree and trying to penetrate the roof. It turns out he did this almost every day. I waited for her to go to work, climbed up the loft, then went down the stairs and used all the amenities in the house and refused nothing. The most funny thing about this story is that during the long trials they met each other and during the communication this person was very polite and respectful to her. As a result, she did not file charges against him and allowed him to move to himself, helped him get a job. He lived on the roof until he stood on his feet. This is such a terrible shit with the hippie end.

In his life as a student, for a couple of years he rented the floor of a private house near the main building of the university. Those who have ever lived in the private sector know that livelihoods are often pasted on lawns, along roads, etc.

One wonderful spring evening, I went on a date. The thunderstorm just shone, the evening sun warmed gently, the world was clean, shining with washed leaves and promised me a beautiful evening in the company of a girl. I put on white trousers and white shirts and headed to the bus stop. There were no people besides me at the stop. There was only a goat. A healthy goat with curved back rodents. Despite his terrible appearance, the goat did not inspire fear, as he passed peacefully not far from the stop and honored my disguised person only with a passing glance.

The buses went quite rarely, about every 30-40 minutes, so I smoked and gave in to the pleasant dreams of the upcoming date.

And this is how, dreaming and smoking, I hastily walked out along the stop. Then a train hit me behind me. In any case, I thought so. I don’t know what didn’t like to the goat: the smoke, my white clothes, or the fact of my presence where he wanted to pasture, but this cattle, coming behind my back, struck me into the fifth point with all its goat strength.

I flew three or four meters exactly. He landed in a huge hole. Should I say that my entire dress look was washed off in a second.) I stood up, turned around and looked at the goat. He stood at the stop and stared at me. In his eyes was a sense of determination and challenge. I did not accept the challenge and rushed to retreat.

The date did not happen. The back and lower back colored in colorful-lily shades and hurt for two weeks. And the goats I am now walking the tenth road.)

This is one of those episodes that happened with fictional characters in a parallel universe, of course. And the story is not so much about searching, but about the need to filter the air.



It will be about the office, which through simple manipulations turns the non-cash money of customers into cash, thereby "optimizing" the taxable base.



I woke up at 7 a.m. from the phone call of our aitišnik Vani. A good expert, by the way, codes, administers, understands tasks correctly. He can humor. Then there was a mem with a stubborn dog speaking “dratuti”.

But not this time. Now he almost shouted at the phone with an alarming voice:

Andrei, I have menta under the door. What to do?



The dream immediately fades away. In my head there is a thought: “What? Why is he at the door and not me? Is there an Ayatollah at all? Maybe it’s about something else?”

Wait and do nothing. Take the time, I will call back.



I recruit a partner, he does not respond. I call a few more people, silence. I write in Votsap: “Wani has a mint under the door.” From that side comes the message: “Let it open.” And you say, the pursuits do not know how to joke... At this same moment another SMS comes from a comrade who asks how I am doing. Neighbors called him and told him that the police were looking for him. Okay, the situation is understandable.



I call Ivan, that taratorite:

They cut off the light. I open.



I understand everything except one. Why did no one come to me? A call comes from an unknown number:



Andrei Batkovich is?

(Here is it also)

All right

Did you write and call Tom and Tom?

I wrote, I called

Are we standing at your entrance, will you meet ourselves, or will we look for you?



After registration, no one lived with us, only followed up until the entrance.

Let me go down for 5 minutes to get dressed.



I get a wife, I tell the situation. I remember if I have something on my home computer... I understand that I need to override all the correspondence and scratch all the accounts. What I should have thought before. I dress up and call the elevator. He stops in the middle of the road, and there a man in a suit looks at me, who communicates with the neighbors. Did not know? I go down where a young man sits on the bench. I come and say hello. From nowhere, two more workers fly and one goes down the staircase.



Later it turned out that the guy in the store was kind of understood. Well, okay, a man does his civil duty at 7 in the morning, I understand. Given that at the same time about 15 more addresses of our modest company were uncovered, it remains only to be surprised by the consciousness of numerous citizens who agree to such actions.



Then everything is interrupted. Boxes and cabinets, garbage cans, dirty linen boxes, all the compartments in the car on the parking lot where you could hide something. In the phone I have correspondence with figures, on the compilation of work tables. Yes, it had to be thought of before... The opera in the process lead an unforced conversation, tell each other how they went fishing, ask me questions. Only "understood" a little nervous, but nothing, get used to it yet. They then seal all the equipment and documents they find. They give a couple of instructions in the spirit: "you have been involved for more than a year, all the arrangements know for a long time, I do not advise the investigator to cast nonsense." And they are taken to the Investigative Committee on a car worth about 1.5 million. The Department of Economics can afford it.



After 14 hours of waiting without eating in the investigation and superficial interrogation, I am released as a witness. All the arrangements they really had, and during the current day of fruitful conversations, they were able to learn all that was still unclear. As a result, the investigation leaves in unpaid home leave only the organizers and those who carried the money. These guys will need more to shake out customers, the rest are free.



I then meet with the *****ishishnik, on whom this story fell:

I still don’t understand why they came to you at the door and waited for me at the entrance.

“Because someone often asked my address on the phone when I visited...

Why did you take it?

Do you know what the first thing I heard was when I opened the door?

What is?

Dramatic...

Keep the e-book - the storehouse of unpumped knowledge in the brain!

To my aunt came a friend with her husband; they flew in a ball, went to Podolsk. Apparently not far away, but while they were driving, the man - a Maltese in 100500 generation - could not understand where they were.
Eventually he issued:
Are we still in Russia?
He was categorically killed by the answer:
The guy! We are still in Moscow!

Vladimir Putin, while at the MAX air show, bought the ice cream from a vendor who probably sold it to the president in the same place two years ago.
So how much can a FSO employee keep in the sellers?
It is time for the Governor.

Friends have a second child, asking what to buy for the newborn, we are going to mark. We climb the stairs, in the hands of flowers, a cake and a bathtub, the door is opened upstairs and the father of the family runs past us with the matyugs, followed by the screams of the wounded tea tree by the wife, pulling the hand of the five-year-old roaring Andrew. We frightenedly climb into the corner and cover ourselves with a bathtub for the case. Since the spouse runs slower because of the small, then we have time to hear between the shout "how you could, and who you are after that" hospitable: "Come in, we are now."

With fear we enter and wait in the hallway.

They come back joyful, smiling, laughing, the contrast is stunning.

In short, the husband was walking with the children while the wife was preparing for the guests. When it was time to return, the husband gathered Andreushin's molds and machinery and went home with him, and left the wheelchair with the sleeping woman on the site.

After five years, they both returned home. Not used to yet.