I got a bunch of packages with various gadgets and hooks with AliExpress. Of the 22 packages, only 3 have instructions in Russian. There is a tower, a spirometer and an alcotester. These stereotypes...

The girl chest:
Q: How to make sure that the guy does not disappear after the first sex? = is
A: borrow money from him.)

I see somewhat bad people fige with natural products. Maybe they are not so useful? One yesterday described how cheese from milk makes, and tricked in this simple process not the serum from the crushed milk, but the patch to squeeze, another, if Jesus Christ, from 3 liters of milk manages to make cheese, cream for his family, including the teeth, while some of the milk they drink in natural form. Lord, you would ask where the owners feed their cattle, it seems that something is clearly not the case.

Mom here instead of a pack of toilet paper for 4 rolls bought a paper towel. I showed her, explained, struck... Then she dragged them somewhere into the kitchen and stumbled, the towels, the paper in the toilet is no longer. How to explain to mom that in harsh times and a towel to wipe your ass is not a sin?

I’ve come up with another way to kill Smaug.
xh: Its temperature below the melting temperature of gold
You could evaporate gold and make the dragon breathe its steam.
Gold crystallizes in the alveoli of the lungs, the gas exchange will be disrupted and the dragon will die from hypoxia
WOW: Where did you come from, right?
I am a therapist =(

A harsh city maniac bit the vampire to death and drank all his blood.

We can finally walk peacefully in the city. The last pedophile was killed by a maniac.

Meeting in Innerland:

XXX: How do I know you?

YYY: I am in bars, skin, tattoo on my face and I am a whirlwind.

XXX: I will not come.

Advice of an experienced eicker 1:

At the interview, always answer the truth to the question "why did you leave your previous job?" Because the reputation is false or silence plays against you.

Advice of an experienced eicker 2:

At an interview, never answer the truth to the question “why did you leave your previous job?” because the reputation of a whistleblower who simply tells the secrets of the boss (even the former), plays against you.

And there was a show where one politician takes a political interview from another, but in parallel they prepare, for example, champagne soup.
It looks mindful.
Political leadership (combining the water) And what do you think, colleague, about the rising prices of basic foods, and the fact that the elderly finally switched to bread and water?
POLITICAL GUEST (sweeping champignons, large pieces of meat and grass from the Swiss highlands, which he personally broke there). I am sorry for the old people, but they are the fault of themselves that they worked little and did not accumulate for old age. But I think that after the summer vacation and vacation, we will return to this topic in parliament.
By the way, colleague, did you prepare white wine for my soup?

Everyone went to work. is surprising.
So far, no one is working. Not surprisingly...

How to determine the professionalism of employees on the first working day after the New Year holidays:

Minimum level: Remember what you need to work. I found the boss’s phone to ask.

2) Average level: remembered the address of the organization, came / splashed / reached any way.

3) maximum level (complexity NIGHTMARE): got to work, did not fuck the pass, remembered (!) by themselves!! Password from Comp.

He arrived in Moscow on January 8.
From Vietnam.
He writes: "For the first time in my life I experienced a heat change of 60 degrees...".

Sharing clothes in a large family with three active generations:
Fuck, in this family you have to wear everything with you, or they will be pressed away! Dynasty of Gopniks!
The second is addiction!

What is the artificiality of the situation? It’s like in love: if you’re in love, then the cup suddenly isn’t there, and it’s incredibly annoying.

A: %reference to a group in VK with quotations of Allegrowa%

B: Appropriate, comes out, aunt
Better than some =)

A: It hurts them to be primitive. “It’s good to write and tick in the evening, I call it going to the toilet.”

B: It does not happen. No "I call it to release the inner goddess"

The colleagues discuss the schedule of work for the next month and one issues:
I will soon have unforeseen circumstances.

calculation of anatomy. - Arzu (name changed), tell me about the topography of the uterus. The silence. Where is she located? A whisper to the audience. Arzu proudly:"The mouth is located in the mouth!" ZANAVES! Pussy: Arzu herself was from a medical family, her mother was from some of the gynecologists there. Arzu graduated from the universe with a red diploma, not knowing what the Krebs cycle still looks like. She now works as the head of the department of functional diagnostics (gynecology + uzi) in some cool clinic in Baku.

What is this to you? The bitter...

and irony.

Straga: It grew up when leaving the cinema after the next American blockbuster the first thought in my head: the history textbook must be re-read.

I have a good acquaintance. Let’s say costume. She works as a driver on public transportation. He wears his beard and hair to his shoulders, which he collects in the tail. To wear it will be a typical daddy.

On its route there is a stop "Slava Labour". People who want to get out at this stop usually inform in advance.

And once, wishing to joke, to the loud "Glory to labor" from another passenger Kostya replied: "Glory to the CPSU!"

πCalled by