bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №153562
 09.01.2020
and Taxi. Yandex gives an order with a comment "transport of animals". I love animals and I feel positive about transportation.

At my address, a woman met me, without any animal or signs of him. I was curious because the price is not much more expensive. The woman explained that we will go for him now, then back to the same address.

At the second address, a drunk man was dumped into the car. As explained by the woman, it is her husband, who went for beer on December 28th, and found him with some strangers on January 9. Hence the commentary.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №153561
 09.01.2020
If God exists, why has he not forbidden the church?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №153560
 09.01.2020
Today in the conversation accidentally remembered and thought that maybe somebody else would be interesting.
Many years ago in the Odessa circus filmed an episode for the film "Granate Bracelet" on Kuprin. I have forgotten the story and the movie, but I remember the filming case.
There, according to the plot, a fan gives the circus girl he fell in love with a flock of lambs. This episode was filmed. The circus was played by the rider Gitana (who seemed to later become Batalov's wife). I took part in a mass meeting – the hall had to be filled with the public. Moreover, I managed to get some camel and an old-fashioned hat in the mud - those who participated in the massacre in their clothes received less, and those who changed clothes - more. The difference was almost 2 rubles - at the time and in my student position the amount is noticeable, so I mention the hat.
So, the rider is jumping on a horse in a maneuver, and at this time the Sprakhstalmeister announces something very important, such as "his nobleness so pleases the rider as a gift" and at this time a herd of lambs (presents) is driven out in a maneuver.
Then the rider did not stop the horse there, then the lambs did not go out as the director wanted, then the audience (mass) did not applaud so much - the episode was shot eight times in a word. Everybody has already stunned. Note that the sound is recorded separately from the image. After rehearsals and many doubts to the Sprakhstalmeister (how could I forget his surname - he was in this hypostasis in the Odessa circus for decades, all the Odessa knew him), so he once again comes out such a whole in a frack, with a manic and a butterfly and a very solid figure and instead of the words on the plot, he routinely announces " _ And you went all to such a mother and that you would go there and here..." It was in a decorated form, and in fact his tirade could envy any bandit.
Well, everyone laughed and forgot - tired yet, especially since the shootings went after the usual performance, i.e. by night.
The movie was very nice, at the time even good. The audience received him very well, he was even rewarded, seemingly something.
A few months after the release on the screens was made a copy with titles and the film was shown in the club of the deaf. The hohote was still in the room - they were reading on their lips!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №153559
 09.01.2020
A politician visited a remote village and asked the people what the government could do for them.
“We have two big needs,” said the village leader. “First, we have a hospital, but no doctor.”
The politician took a cell phone, spoke for a while, and then said, “I got it done. The doctor will come here tomorrow. What is your second need?”
There is no mobile communication in our village.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №153558
 09.01.2020
Every winter at my grandmother in the village, I was assigned to clean the snow from the garage and stacks.

It was always boring and dark. But one winter (I was 15 years old) I threw such a huge bunch of snow out of the garage. He was adjacent to our house, so at that time I pulled and dropped the overdose of snow from all the areas I reached.

Well, since there is such a bunch, why not ignore the presence of a staircase, and not go down the bunch?

That is how I signed. in valleys of two sizes larger and two tubes on the body.

I went into the snow smoothly and smoothly. It remains to sit there. Trapped intentionally.

As she did not battle, did not stretch, did not get free from the snow captivity.



But this story was not destined to end with a freeze in the style of Jack Nicholson in the Shining.

I felt awkward to see where my grandmother came from.

Laughing, she threw me a pen from the butt that I grabbed. And pulled me until most of the body was freed from the snow. Then I could go on😂

I will no longer jump in the hills.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №153557
 09.01.2020
It was a long time. My colleague and I have been friends for several years. Very close enough.

They communicated and rested together, helping each other when needed. One day she got sick. I took her to a hospital far from her home. Her husband could only visit her on the weekend - he had a small child left, their parents were not near them.

I visited her daily, cooked food that was possible on a diet, the first few days after the operation I sat all day, cared for.

Then we split up in different offices, but we continued to communicate. Soon I had a difficult pregnancy. The first time a friend called me, came to the hospital a couple of times, then disappeared. And it was so bad for me that I didn’t pay attention to it, not before.



And only after the birth, a month and a half later, I suddenly realized that she did not visit me in the nursery, did not congratulate the baby and did not even ask if I was alive at all!

It was in the pre-internet era, cellular communication just appeared. Neither she nor I had a cell phone. You could come in person or by phone. In my maternal situation, I could only be contacted by calling my husband for work. Me with her at all.



I was offended of course. I was very upset before I said, “Well, please! Not very much wanted. I don’t know and I don’t want to know.”



As if that was all. We did not see each other again. I sometimes remembered this story, with such an unpleasant bitter aftertaste.

And only a few years later, through random people, I learned that she had a serious and dangerous illness. She has been treated for a long time. During this time her husband left her. I had to move to the area with my parents. By the time it all came to me, she was no longer there.



Do not rush to judge. Be more tolerant to people. After all, none of us know what we will do when we find ourselves in a strange place. I’ve seen many times that people condemn others with the assurance that they won’t do it! They will be good!

And when life arrives, there are excuses not to be heroic.

All are good.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №153556
 09.01.2020
The First Class and Karma. Once after a fishing in our dressing room, my classmates and I saw school pants, someone left them. I asked them to put them in the pit and the guys agreed. We swept them down, jumped and left them lying there. And when I came home, I saw that I was wearing sports trousers, they were of the same color as the school shirt-dark blue and so in the dressing room I was sure that we would roll someone else. In general, I went down and took my pants out of the lounge, it was very offensive. And after that, he never engaged in such a hernia, and all the rest of the school went for those who were thrown out of the wallets from the windows, painted the crumbs, and did other ugliness. He got a good lesson.

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