bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 80 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22315
 09.11.2009
Mlia, I feel like I grow like a user: before there were a lot of cups at the comp, and now there are also plates, pots, casseroles and (!) Friendly...

[ + 98 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22314
 09.11.2009
You know I am angry.
What annoys you, my friend?:D
Q: What kind of girl do I like?
XXX: These are the questions.
XXX: I have to ask you that.
YYY: No, I like you as a guy, I should have answered, right?:D
I just understood everything right away and nothing will come out.
YYY: And sometimes they ask, and I like you as a person at all? No, fucking, I like you like a barsuke... or an enot I don’t know, oppsum
XXX: Just a question worthy of a backbone
xxx :D
YYY: Not just to ask: Hey, I like you no longer?!8-)\m/
Imagination is the key.
YYY: As a man, as a girl... as a dough, I like you? You’re not like a dropshiper, but as a landslide you’re just great!! to

[ + 207 - ] Comment quote №22313
 09.11.2009
When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that the most important thing in life is to be happy.
When I went to school, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I wrote "Happy"
I was told "you did not understand the task", I told them "you did not understand life".

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №22312
 09.11.2009
Seraph
As a historian, the windows are well blamed.

Seraph
Although it is believed that the prince of Vladimir was killed by the gods for treason.

[ + 102 - ] Comment quote №22311
 09.11.2009
My husband (10:50:50 9/11/2009)
...I dropped the oatmeal cookie in coffee, forgot about it, and then took a cup, I drink, I think of something gentle and I see in the cup swimming Brain brown such, with twists, scared not a speech, I thought my fell out...
) ) )

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №22310
 09.11.2009
Protocol of the DTP. Department of Vehicle Damage. 1st vehicle: Chevrolet Lacetti - deformed the front buffer, the front left wing, the front left wheel, the front left door, the left outer mirror of the rear view. 2nd vehicle: btr-80 - there are wheels on the front right wheel.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №22309
 09.11.2009
-KOSHAK- (21:44:18 7/11/2009)
It removes viruses, right?

SoulCry (21:44:31 7/11/2009)
Yes to! More as

-KOSHAK- (21:44:37 7/11/2009)
) ) )

-KOSHAK- (21:44:44 7/11/2009)
They may hurt)

SoulCry (21:50:18 7/11/2009)
But Kasper is a perverse, he will first ask how the virus is wrapped, then he will spend in a separate folder (called "quarantine") there will start to dress up and look at the body of the virus, carefully studying and writing notes on the structure of the body of the virus, if you click to remove it he will just remove it), and if you click to treat it, he will rape, cut off his hands and castrate, releases (from the quarantine), if the virus does nothing after that, Kasper will leave the naked and castrated body in any package (which you will indicate), or if everything after the virus gets out of the quarantine scratched under the scratch: everything is already in the sponge, then you are trying to catch up, and the body begins to melt and

SoulCry (21:51:31 7/11/2009)
I said I didn’t smoke.)

[ + 101 - ] Comment quote №22308
 09.11.2009
Today in the supermarket. A young couple stands in front. Judging by the loaded basket and the acidic body of the guy, they were stuck for a long time. The girl in severe doubts something quietly whispers to the satellite. Almost before the box, she suddenly confidently says: "Let me run away, I change," to which the guy, who has remained silent until now, answers loudly: "Anya, this is toilet paper, and I am deeply parallel to smell: an apple or a sirene!"

[ + 208 - ] Comment quote №22307
 09.11.2009
And you too, when you turn on music loudly, you hear strange sounds, as if someone in the apartment is breaking, knocking on the door or the phone is ringing, and when you turn off the music, these sounds suddenly stop?

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №22306
 09.11.2009
13th Century: Epidemics, Pirates, War in the Middle East
16th century: Epidemics, Pirates, War in the Middle East
21st Century: Epidemics, Pirates, War in the Middle East
Nothing in this life changes.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №22305
 09.11.2009
I went for a medicine for a dog - I got a positive charge in the pharmacy.
I’ve never felt too embarrassed buying condoms. I understand that the beginning is unexpected, but it is real to the topic of the post, even when I bought them for the first time in my life. Therefore, I am especially amused when people, asking for a given product, go for tricks. Maybe I’m so reckless, I don’t know... but what a shame is here, I can’t understand at all.
A boy aged 25+ (not a teenager) issued a hideous request in the pharmacy:
Girl, I have umbrellas from shutters.
When I got out of the pharmacy, I couldn’t stand for a long time.

[ + 192 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22304
 09.11.2009
And you also get angry when your girlfriend is guilty so that you had to raise the tone or even offend, and she is offended by it, (!!!) That you’ve offended her and, in the end, you’re always guilty? And you go to her first to ask for forgiveness, only the sun would not be sad and everything would be fine?
Or when she leads you, for example, far away, and you MUST follow her persistently and persistently until she poured all the dirt on you and calmed down? And if you turn around and go where she said, that’s all. Even more will you be offended for not following her and not carving on your knees of mercy!!! to
Girls, okay you will always be right, please, I have already reconciled, but why so often "remember" about this with your own scandals? This is typical of all my friends.
What did we deserve? Fuck who understands!

[ + 90 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22303
 09.11.2009
Please help people! If it goes well, my boyfriend will marry me. I love him very much! I understand that I’m not in the subject too, but before the wedding I’ll have a new notebook, Linux, and I’ll finally go through the prototype! Thank you all in advance!!! to

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №22302
 09.11.2009
Comments on the Tarkovsky film "Stalker" (1979)) is :

> so for yourself. It could have been better to remove. At least in real Chernobyl.

Now I believe in my cinema!! We have guys who boldly claim that they could have made a film in 1979 about traveling to the mysterious uninhabited Zone, a rapidly growing young city of atomists, on the bright path to communism, like Chernobyl was seven years before the crash in 1986!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №22301
 09.11.2009
It was cold on the street, it was frozen.
What is it?
-You understand, not heating artificial leather boots on artificial fur, nylon socks and synthetic socks.
Even if your feet are real.

[ + 84 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №22300
 09.11.2009
Li$i4ka: Sergey Lazarev shakes his hand, making every girl whisper:):).

DreW: And Nikolai Valuev, shaking his hand, makes every man whisper...including Sergey Lazarev.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №22299
 09.11.2009
I am a great programmer.
Yesterday I downloaded Delphi 7 and a couple of books on it (for teasers)
xxx: Write a harmless program so that the text in the line appears when a button is pressed
xxx: According to avast, I created a Trojan... :)

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №22298
 09.11.2009
According to the law of wickedness, the law of wickedness does not work when it must work.

[ + 102 - ] Comment quote №22297
 09.11.2009
Jason was sitting in the wreath of a Russian rocket, most of his fellow servants, with whom he was in the same squad, were killed by Russian bullets, or surrendered to captivity... or... they committed suicide. Jason has been thinking about suicide for the last six hours. These terrible sounds just made him crazy.

How could their government miss out that the Russians have such a powerful weapon? These sounds... they just turned his brains, his thoughts were confused, an ancient animal fear came. The fucking! It starts again!

Above the field high in the sky on a huge atmospheric-space ship a holographic screen arose. On the screen, some strange creature on two legs was shouting something in Russian... “Loshayaaaaaaaadkaaa!”

Jason couldn’t stand anymore, he dropped his M-18 and rushed to the defensive moving jizz of the Russians! “Well, Russian pigs, kill me! Kill me sooner, I can't do it anymore!"Ji cried and knocked on the armored door of the boy, "Kill me, please!"

Why don’t they like this cartoon? I asked Petrov.
The Pindos! What to take from them? - Answered Ilya Sergeevich, our squadron.
Where is that day? The cameras are so full!
At seven o’clock, there’s still room. Yes, and that, include them there on the holographic projector, so that it’s not boring. What are we, animals, what are we?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №22296
 09.11.2009
Fear of defeating enemies.
A murderer at sunset
No, I did not eat mushrooms.
I just bought a selfie.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna