bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133355
 09.09.2016
Review of the smartphone:
I have redmi3. Sweating is normal. The settings are extensive. Painted the SIM card chip on the memory card - works 3 in 1. The battery bomb. One bad thing: his wife took...

[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133354
 09.09.2016
Yes, with the collapse of the Union we began to live relatively better, but the reason for this is hardly that capitalism is better than communism, it is rather that the arms race has been replaced by the consumption race.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133353
 09.09.2016
What about Nikita?
>>>>>>>>>>>>
With Nikita, everything is simple - their children are called Goodies.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №133352
 09.09.2016
The mother-in-law is a rarely disgusting man, loves to remind you that you will not have time to look back, as you become old.
I was patient, silent, trying to get rid of it.
Then he began to answer:
I can’t wait to see you buried.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133351
 09.09.2016
The faster the marriage/relation, the faster the divorce. My girlfriend and I did not try to build any of ourselves at first, and nothing changed after Zack.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133350
 09.09.2016
Teacher at the beginning of the year:
No one has debt? At least for me?
One of the students is proud:
and no. We are good.
The Teacher:
I am good)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133349
 09.09.2016
Because he is not black. Barista was outraged by the "coffee black with milk", which is an oxymoron, that is, a contradiction to itself.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
And a cup of black-black coffee served with a separate cup of milk, won’t coffee be black with milk? Coffee is black? The Black. With milk? With milk. The oxymoron? Nothing at all.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133348
 09.09.2016
I decided to buy a train ticket, I entered a series, a studdak number, in response: "The series and the student ticket number are invalid."

So I learned that I was removed.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133347
 09.09.2016
We and our neighbors are competing - first they smell me at night with roasted meat in the bath, then I give them an apple cake with cinnamon in the morning. So we live.
Maybe the ventilation is bad, hz

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133346
 09.09.2016

Yy: Poor man, is it so hard for you to get out of your comfort zone?

The comfort zone is a place where you are well, comfortable, everything is set for you. I’ve been organizing it for 10 years and I don’t want to leave it. This is my child, my creation. You might say, why should I leave where it’s good, where it’s bad?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133345
 09.09.2016
To lie down and shake alone is so sad. Seriously guys, it’s very sad.
xxx is right. Another thing is to run in the company of friends.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133344
 09.09.2016
Mother, I am your unborn son. Throw 100 backs on this number. I will explain it"

Sarah Connor can’t be divorced.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133343
 09.09.2016
Reading in bed is a paradise if there is enough light on the book and if you do not pour coffee or cognac on the pages.

Stephen King

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133342
 09.09.2016
This is:
When I’m alone at home, I talk to cats, I sing, I sing, I carry some shit, and then I approach the mirror, I look myself closely in the eyes and say, “You understand that you’re fucking?” What are you wearing at all? With cats, fool, talk, oats? Fucking." After that I can behave calmly all day.
///////////////////////////////////////////
Friend, all the norms, as the psychiatrists say: “As long as you see (you can judge) that you are fucking, you are absolutely normal.”
So don’t worry too much ;)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133341
 09.09.2016
xxx: Would it be better for you if someone smoked smelly cigarettes near you or smoked a vanilla apple?

It would be better if the whores weren’t there.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133340
 09.09.2016
Funny episode from childhood. We (children from the same street) were 12-14 years old. Beginning of the 90s. The summer. The holidays. The river has arrived, swimming is not possible, boring. There is a printing machine at home. Within 20 minutes, a simple text is typed with one finger. Because of the rise of water, giant soma floated into the river. The dog sat down, the child was scared. The local authorities are urged to be vigilant, etc. We hang on the fence and columns three copies dropped through the copier.
A week later, rumors spread to a couple of dozens of eaten children, articles in the city newspaper about poor ecology and mutants, military helicopter firing slippery monsters from the nurses, and as apophies a complete ban from parents to approach the river closer than 100 meters. No arguments that we printed the original text did not help.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133339
 09.09.2016
They stole our house... they opened a huge door. They took a bag of garbage.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133338
 09.09.2016
Once, a delegation from China came to our university for a conference. And, in order to entertain the guests, they allocated three students from the translation department - the city to show, the museums to conduct, and then help at the conference itself, if necessary.

And here, they went to cultural education in the morning, return to the universe in the afternoon, and the participants of the delegation in panic, discuss something between themselves. Here these students notice that something is wrong - a lot of them have some sort of care. The dean comes, and her eyes lie on her forehead: "Why did you take the Japanese from the museum and bring here? “” The dean, as it turned out, spoke Japanese, and could distinguish the Chinese from the Japanese.

An annoying student for a minute lost sight of her group while walking, and joined a bunch of Japanese, and then they were safely taken away. How they did not notice that the Chinese were six people, and they took eight, is unclear. Why the Japanese were silent while they were taken somewhere is also a mystery. But in volunteering these gor-guides no longer participated.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133337
 09.09.2016
We expanded, a vacancy operator appeared in the call center, placed a vacancy. An incoming call, a woman wants to sign up for an interview. I say - no problem, I set a date and time, explain where to go. And here the searcher asks:

So that I don’t go wasted and don’t waste time, you can tell me, you have a kitchen?

Yes, I say there is.

What is the kitchen equipment?

I am confused, and I answer:

There is a refrigerator, a cupboard, a microwave, an electrical brick.

“Well, well, I’ll go there tomorrow,” the lady says and puts the phone on.



in the trail. The day she comes, she goes to an interview with the boss. He asks me to stay and tell me the essence of the work. I explain everything, ask if there are questions. She says yes, show me the kitchen.

I get up, take her to the kitchen, she looks at her with a critical look, and says, “Well, I understand.” It turns and leaves.



And this was what it was?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133336
 09.09.2016
Wiki never lies. I speak to you as King of Zambia.

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