bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №152965
 09.09.2019
20 years ago, when there was a popular song "Guests from the future" (in it still a line was "Train Zurich to Geneva, where are you Evaya? I studied in 9th grade. And then I and my friend decided to bet which country Zurich is in? I say – Switzerland, my friend, you’re a fool, it’s Germany. I did not want to be stupid categorically, especially I was sure of all 100 in my right, so we began to ask everyone in a row, "In which country Zurich? »

We met mostly the same nine-class girls, who either did not know, or confidently declared "Germany", which instilled confidence in my friend and she began to hiccake. And here we meet a teacher, in my opinion, even history! To my question, “Tell us which country Zurich is in? This ugly lady said, “You are not ashamed to be so illiterate! Where the youth goes! Zurich is in Germany. And a lot of insult.

In short, we reached the office of geography and already there on the map we found Switzerland and Germany, and even France, and I still defended my right. But it is still offensive when I recall how a bad teacher was ashamed of me, and she was also wrong.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №152964
 09.09.2019
In the nineties it was. I was in the electric car, and a very nice girl was sitting next to me. And the road was far away and I was slightly smiling and I didn’t notice how I leaned to that girl. It was softer on her hand to rest than on the rigid frame of the train window. She seemed not to be against. She did not wake me, did not scream, even as it seemed more convenient to me, which would make it more comfortable for me to sleep.When I woke up, I was slightly upset from such a situation and even apologized for the inconvenience brought. She smiled and said nothing wrong. Yes, I was much more popular with beautiful women when I was seven years old than I am now.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №152963
 09.09.2019
There is a lot of airport nearby and a lot of pilots and stewardesses rent housing. I stand at the bus stop. A pilot with suitcases. This happens often.



Suddenly, looking at him, he leaned to the side, made a tense face and turned the suitcase pen on himself and to the left. I took off the headphones, looked up into the sky, and there the aircraft was quite strong before landing.



I'm also in a rough situation in the car on the brakes. Even if I sit in the back seat.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №152962
 09.09.2019
Definition of Dictionary



Jiu Jitsu (of course)

1st The art of folding clothes carefully when these clothes are still worn on people.

2nd Forced practice of yoga

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №152961
 09.09.2019
Covering up democratic values, he dragged material into the house.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №152960
 09.09.2019
Hermann Gref, in many ways defining economic policy in Russia, recalls:
“Here’s this class break, my last name once started with the letter ‘G’. And this is “Today will answer,” and the hand of the teacher begins... And my heart shrinks. Then I count, using all my mathematical abilities, to calculate the speed with which my finger moves and in which part of my surname is located on the letter "g". Then I realize that he has swallowed it, I exhale, and then the finger returns.” “I’ll honestly tell you one of the most important things I’ve learned from school – I hate the assessment process, I hate exams. It’s a catastrophe... One of my personal goals is to kill exams,” he said, expressing hope that it “will take decades.”

Without realizing it, Greff formulated the main problem of the elite of the country: cowardly, dumb, poorly educated, without systemic and structural consciousness - for some reason and manage the economy of the country, and those normal, fast and efficiently thinking children and students, whose eggs from fear were not stuck in the ass from calling to the board or passing exams, because they easily understood those quite small at the level of courses - drag existence on the back of the economy. The exam is the basis of competitiveness - the strongest must win. The Greens must bring them papers. Competitiveness is the foundation of the economy. The economic leader who has decided to silence competition and competition in forming the elite of the country is the fool who is destroying the country. He is not a fool, but an enemy.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №152959
 09.09.2019
Did you know that there are no Canary Islands? The same goes for the new monastery. There are no canaries either.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №152958
 09.09.2019
Last night, I put my daughter to sleep.

In secret, I don’t know from whom. She said she didn’t like Sereza anymore, and now Kolya is her new boyfriend.

I ask why? What did Serena not do?

Answer: "Sereja is beautiful, but Cole is so clever, he knows everything. And Seresh what you do not ask, he answers, “I don’t know.”

I ask, "Daughter, who do you like more: smart, beautiful or another?"

I thought.

“You know, daddy, I don’t need a beautiful one, or we’ll always argue about who of us is the most beautiful. He’s smart, but then he’ll win me all the games and we’ll fight again. The important thing is that the memory is good. To remember when I have my birthday, so that I can’t forget the New Year. And to wake up early to walk with the dog.



daughter 6 years.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №152957
 09.09.2019
A middle-aged American was sitting in her bedroom at night and resting peacefully. Suddenly a noise came from the corridor. Not thinking for a long time, she got her gun out of the covered box, and just out of the dark corridor with a scream of "Bowow!" A poorly distinguished creature jumped out and shot him. And then it turned out that this creature was the 18-year-old daughter of a woman who returned from college, who wanted to scare her mother with such a screamer. I called an ambulance and the girl was recovering.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna