Only in the army you understand that the toothbrush is real for hard-to-reach places.

From Forum

Hello, please tell me what is the shelf life of cigarettes?
I bought a pack of cigarettes and I feel that they are crazy, first thought that it is due to the fact that I am now trying to quit smoking (earlier smoked a pack a day, and I pulled a pack for a week) and typically started to pull off, then looked at the date of manufacture, and there is written July 2008...

YYY: Are you afraid to harm your health?

The wife goes on holiday for a week, soon a taxi will arrive, she stands dressed and gives the last instructions:
J: and water the flowers... do not forget to water the cactus in the refrigerator... feed the cat... and so on.
Literally every fourth item is "cat feeds" (in total she reminded about the cat 9 times, I counted!When she finished, I said in a joke:
I: Yes, and the flowers water.
Yes, of course, do not forget to water the flowers.
I: Listen, you forgot to say that I was feeding a cat.
Oh my God, of course. Do not forget to feed the cat.! to
I: Listen, you forgot to say that I was feeding a cat.
End the fool, I have no memory.

No-no...

Would you like to show you an ancient Russian photograph?! to

Today I found out where the female Kappa works in Metro Cash & Carey.
The woman who is different from the cancer for 108 UAH. Cancer is 145.
by price.

You have blood from
The wounds? The patient: no shit, lemonade.

The Thunder! Who is alone in the New Year - I propose to meet at the fountain, Alley of the Young Men, on the Ring of Yamska Street, December 31, at 20.00. I think we will not miss either. The Beast!

You are talking about internet payments here, but I am worried about something else:
The man whose wife went on holiday for a week! Have you forgotten to feed the flowers and water the cat?
My friends, let us not be indifferent. Without our constant reminders, they will forget. The lives of the flower and the animals in our hands!

A child (4 years) considers the kindergarten general photo:
Dasha in red, Andrei in green, Vanya in blue, Lisa in yellow.
After the break, shocked.
This is the Windows logo!! to

Take the feelings out of the archive, wipe the dust out of the soul and the eyes, and learn to live beautifully, the earth is created for you!
Afrodite: Put your feelings in a tomic with a block, pour vodka with beer into a basin, cut olives and bread, the earth is made for you!

Today I realized the seriousness of my education at the Faculty of Humanities. She tried to remember the name of the fourth ninja turtle, picking the names of Renaissance artists in her head.

We discussed with our colleagues the plans for the NHS.

YYY: I’ll go to a Christmas fair on Sunday and get inspired) if honest, I want to bake homemade cookies, cook glutches, and then ride skates under classic jazz, and then spend a romantic time with your loved one.
XXX: Essentially: eat, drink, scratch frozen water, well and, tired as it should, in exhaustion to have sex)
YYY: is not
XXX: I appreciated aesthetics, right. It is all jealousy.
Envy makes you look at things objectively.

Last night I went to bed early, tired.
XXX: Sleeping at 23:00
xxx: minutes after 10 one of our undiplomed sanitary utilities to repair the crane in the bathroom
XXX: Not covered by water
xxx: Through the dream I hear the growing sound of the suddenly arriving water, and then the sharp scream of DIIMMMAAAAAA!!!! to
xxx: because the sanitary was washed off the bathroom
XXX: The whole apartment has gone, let’s run out of the water. She quickly flooded the bathroom and toilet.
XXX: with the emergency managed quickly, even the neighbors did not flood
xxx: today I come from work, everything works, the sanitary vova has fixed everything
But there is one bag.
When you take a shower and someone in the toilet dropped the water, the cold water disappears.
xxx: right away
xxx: I don’t know why, but now I understand why, when I got out of the toilet, I was in the bathroom and I stood "ai, fuck, ай, legs"

How long...
Shortly...
Bruce Lee...

xxx: when he was a taxi driver, I sometimes ride with him around the city, like as an internship. No one was usually upset about this, but one evening the lady and her husband sat down and started shouting that she was saying, she would complain, etc. Her husband began to calm down, she was even more cool. This is what the man did: he said, "You go on a whore!" and knocked the door and went on foot.

Man, you will say nothing.

Collective stupidity is stronger than individual reason.

I stand in a line at the post office, in front of me a few people, in front of the window stands a man with a fun look in headsets, and behind him a shy girl. The classic of the genre suits the aunt and begins to rub this girl that behind this man was another aunt and here she took her. Because of her humility, she is silent and leaves her. The man turns to the aunt and says:
Do you have all your teeth?! to
Why? →? to
Because you’re so strong, you’re constantly beaten out!! to
Aunt cries and sparks with saliva:
Have you gone crazy?? to
I am a crazy man!! I just got out of the fool!! and turning
You are a girl, don't miss her, she wasn't behind me, I
I confirm!! to
The curtain. All the visitors bowed.

Mosquitoes have become more astute... They fly, sit on the bed... And then walk, so that they are not heard...

I work as a DJ at the club. Because everybody has a lot of speech too. The history. One day after the club, our local don Juan and Casanova decided to take me to the subway. At the same time, it clings and gives out: there are rumors that you are doing great minet? I couldn’t answer anything but how "and what, to teach you?"who walked by our guys were lying:)))

See, the star falls – make a wish!
YYY: It will not happen
XXX Why?
Tagged: satellite