bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №57626
 18.12.2011
www.predkov.net: M is the mother! Why am I so unsuccessful? He wore socks, sneezed, hit his nose at his knee.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №57625
 18.12.2011
Today I read in the user guide:
The camera focuses on the mouths of dogs and cats when they look into the camera, and the "Timer" menu has the "Auto Release" option, which automatically releases the lock when the animal is detected".
So, to protect it, a! I checked it, it works great!)

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №57624
 18.12.2011
X-Blood: I have to confess to having hit the duck! On the road to the acuarel... (climbed the eyelid)
P.S. The cake was delicious.
Grag: And I was a rabbit yesterday, on the same road, in a dark evening. He ran into my bowl at my speed of about 100 km/h.
P.S There was no appetite, no appetite.
X-Blood: I didn’t eat there

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57623
 18.12.2011
With Google VR, the answer to the question "Linux is cool?":
This is prestigious and respected among scientists. The girls also like. And the member when installing increases, by the way.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №57622
 18.12.2011
How do you feel about Windows 7?
He: I am worth it. Two years already. I am satisfied.
She : What?! to
He: And what then? It has been standing, standing, and standing for two years.
She: Can I come? and ;)
He : Why?
She is MDA...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №57621
 18.12.2011
British scientists from the University of Bristol have concluded that owners of cats tend to be more educated than owners of dogs, the Daily Telegraph on Saturday.

Fuck, I think I’m so clever. I have a cat!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №57620
 18.12.2011
xxx is
I came, the ears of the raspberry steel, the fingers in the water at once, to melt off, I enter the entrance, from the top something drops between the platforms, I climb to the second, dark, everywhere red spots, on the floor, the sight as if someone else worked, the bags are rolling, the cloth like a jacket lies, it all flows from under it, what kinds of scars lie everywhere, the pieces are unclear what. In short, mla, took the lamp, went out, looked at what kind of strawberries the strawberries broke.

YYYYY
The word is resting 😉

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №57619
 18.12.2011
XXX: I will be a fairy god-a-at!
YYY: Fuck, what did you invent this time?
XXX: You can produce condoms that will be like the heads of our politicians. I have already come up with slogans: "Nathan’s Elite" and "Politicians – Damn!"


[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №57618
 18.12.2011
So tell me, how do you get to cook a normal mushroom soup? I usually either digest it (is obtained like jelly), or do not digest it (fungi like rubber). How do you get everything done on time?
YYY: It’s simple, my friend. Water boils, I reduce the fire on the plate, I throw mushrooms, potatoes and carrots into the pot. Then I’m going to watch a series of Houses.
YYY: After watching, I turn off the plate and leave the soup "to wash" in a closed pot. I’m watching the next series [...]
YYY : Voila!! to
YYY: And then I quietly eat a normal mushroom soup and at the same time look at House.
XXX is genius.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №57617
 18.12.2011
Local news, the story of how a Mercedes crashed into the tires. Interview with a Southern worker.
- He (the driver) first beat the cottage, catch it, plant the car... and how he... water was given, cigarettes were given, no, they were given, he sits and breathes.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №57616
 18.12.2011
I am in shock. Description of a child's toy for the age of 1 year:
When the baby pulls Buryenka behind, a fun march sounds and the cow thinks: 1 km, 2 km...
After 5 km, the bury will get tired and ask the baby to stop and rest!! to
Walked under the table for 5 minutes, decided to bring to the car and check.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №57615
 18.12.2011
Maturity is when dreams are not yet fulfilled, and thoughts are already failing.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №57614
 18.12.2011
Get the Fascist Bukhanka

His grandfather served in artillery. After the war, everyone's life was scattered: the grandfather went to the factory, someone went to the institute, and someone left to pay the debt to the homeland. But the connection was not lost. And here, two grandfather uniforms, together serving up to retirement and high officer ranks, were at the grandfather at the holiday table on the occasion of the next anniversary.
and victory. They watched the parade, sang under the accordion, remembered past times and
The departing comrades.
At this time, I found myself in this place completely by chance, went to take a drill to the dacha. I decided to stop and congratulate the veterans. After the next
“Fighting 100 grams”:
- Ephremich, and remember how we then beat the Fritians the second time, then, in
65 in the collection.
I did not understand what it was about and divided the men (to call the elderly of these energetic joyful people the tongue does not rise) to the story.

They were then sent to eastern Germany to command the large-scale exercises of Soviet troops in honor of the 20th anniversary of victory, high ranks arrived, assessed the combat capability of our army. Either it did, or specifically for the display, the artillery regiment was located directly near the border of the DDR and the Federal Republic of Germany. The Germans, of course, got worse and sent observers on their side to the border. When the commission arrives and shootings are conducted, they photograph what is happening and listen/record radio conversations. The rest of the time is boring for them and us. Only the Germans have television, girls, drinks. The snaps will be eaten, and at three o’clock in the night, the signal missiles will noise, the ahis, or the magnetophone with German songs will be turned on at full volume. And we - the bosses left, and do what you want, only the toilet can not go further, there is nothing to provoke. In fact, sit all day in a tent, play cards and drink alcohol that is no longer in the throat. And so a week. When the event was coming to an end and the camp was about to collapse, the chief at the house. The part found in the stockpile of the chopped loaves of bread, brought the storyteller of this story.
“Ephremich, command a soldier to run to the field.
It is a sin to throw bread away.
M. M. We will not throw it away. We are our bread now to these fascists.
At the same time, our kids will have a little fun.

For those who do not know, I will explain - this type of cannon has a separate charge, that is, a projectile alone, a separate charge. Theoretically, you can shoot anything that gets into the shell.

So then:
Weapons to fight! and Charge! Azimut 25, height of 10! The Ago!
...and two crumbs of bread fly toward a German truck with reconnaissance equipment. The car falls on the side. On the side in the place of hitting the "gun" a huge blast. The bread from the blow flies into the crumbs and the Germans can't find what got in them. If there were a real projectile, there would be a hole. Or a huge fire in case of a breakdown. There is vanity, something is screaming, we are being looked at in binoculars.
The officer ticks his finger into the sky, he may hint at a meteorite, or maybe at the attack of “green men”. And the connection now they do not have, a truck with a radio station antenna is lying in the ground, you will not call help promptly.
Ours, meanwhile, without giving sight, gathered tents, wiped up weapons, and left.

Soon the origin of the “sniper” the Germans, of course, established. No one was punished, everything ended up in a peaceful conversation, “You do not go into our affairs, then we will not go into you with bats.” And the public disclosure of this case did not start to give, apparently the Frics were embarrassed that the Russians disrupted their car at the time with broken bread.

p.s Efremich, he is Mikhail Efremovich - a real man, a veteran, served the entire war as the commander of the most famous "Katyushy". I hope that in the next anniversary of Victory will tell something more fascinating from the grey soldier routines.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №57613
 18.12.2011
Maxim Galkin’s mother grew up on his wife’s songs.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №57612
 18.12.2011
Will you not miss me at all?Have you found a replacement for me?? to
S1k0man: Well yes)) Left and right. They are twins.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №57611
 18.12.2011
Refrigerators have the ability to attract magnets.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №57610
 18.12.2011
I went to the porn site to grab, saw a banner with interesting articles for the curriculum, used on these sites, wrote the curriculum..

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №57609
 18.12.2011
The Informant

(15.12.11 12:19)
In Perm, five gas stations are burning near the gas station.
(15.12.11 12:53)
In Perm, five gas vehicles and gas stations burned.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №57608
 18.12.2011
Post in one of the blogs: "I built a house of chairs, covering them with cloth.
Only I and the cat could get there, and I was pleased.
First comment: My chairs were attached to the floor.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №57607
 18.12.2011
A: I am lost to a normal society.
B: What again?
A: I went to watch lesbian porn.
A: At second at thirty, my attention shifted from the girls to the bed.
A: aaa, such an offgenic bed, large, soft, square, spaaat.
A is turned off.

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