bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №55504
 26.10.2011
Surprise my colleagues! Hide the toilet paper and put 3 shells.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55503
 26.10.2011
Annika, how did you come to Turkey?
Do you have two words or one?
1: Go to two.
2: very good
Hm... and one?
2: Mahmoud

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №55502
 26.10.2011
A friend wiped a magneto from his car in his own yard. I told him about it when I saw the broken glass. To my question, what will you do? Now I’ll take a beat and go out to go googling!

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №55501
 26.10.2011
The dream of my childhood: a toy that cannot be broken with a hammer.

Doctor: Generally speaking, a toy that can’t be broken with a hammer is a pudge. It is eternal as a toy; it cannot be broken or lost.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №55500
 26.10.2011
From the Stampanker:
Filimon: Let me tell you a real case. My friend (cross child) on the dacha foam cracked. Worked without gloves (drinking and forgetting)... When I trembled, I gathered home. The hands represented a brown-dirty cluster of crusts of foam and rarely visible living flesh. I went, broke the rules as it is (the excess seems)... the haishnik from the bushes joyfully escaped. I started checking the documents, then I paid attention to the hands and asked, “What is it?” He replied, “Infectious dermatitis. I cannot cure. The hands are terribly itching and hurt! So his right-hand hiker thrown back into the car and ran to wash his hands :) without taking the money...

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №55499
 26.10.2011
If we travel 180 km per hour, what is our average speed?
You are fucking?

[ + 72 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55498
 26.10.2011
Fool, now show me, my mouse, that rosette in which, fool, the fingers, even the children!! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №55497
 26.10.2011
XXX: Come and play with me? Go on, go on?She made a puppy's eyes full of tears
YYY: I’m going to pay off tomorrow, and it’s at zero...sorry.
xxx: * wrote on the carpet and bitten the cactus

[ + 48 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55496
 26.10.2011
Because the cat sat in the bathroom all day and endured, waiting for it to be released under the bed to suck!!! to
And then while I clean up there, I come into the hallway, and there is a shit.
I no longer know what to do. I’m so sorry for him that we’re so mocking him, so what do we do?>

I can give a few advice:
1st Pull the cat with the mouth in the sassy/sraky, and then show where to suck/srat. Apply this method until the cat learns to walk in the placed place;
2nd Drop the cat and apply the method of paragraph 1;
Three Find a female cat.
4 is Castration of the cat;
5 is Apply the HCP method (Hunger-Cold-Cold-Piddy) and then follow to point 1;
6 is Give a friend / girlfriend / neighbor to the village, or take to the country.
7 is Showing a shadow.
8 is Give it to the shell;


[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №55495
 26.10.2011
xxx: I just understand that for the school year you need to eat a certain amount of shit and I try to eat more before the session to leave less for the session
YYY: Of course, what do you think about studying?

[ + 48 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55494
 26.10.2011
"... his wife is driving. They come to their fifth floor, the wife goes home. And he and his friend stay "parking" his ashes...
A friend sits behind the wheel as the least drunk, and twisting the wheels gives back simultaneously by hitting the next-staying bench... The owner of the car begins to get nervous and screaming in his heart. confuses the gas with the brake and crashes into the wall of his five-storey..."

xxx: playa... but do this woman - the war would not be: "baby they are babies", "baby behind the wheel"...

YYY: We, as beings of the higher order, have higher demands.

XXX: What is it?

We are goddesses, we are goddesses!!!We must not confuse the gas with the brake! ?


[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №55493
 26.10.2011
Think: Tell me, do I need a planner?
Asquante: porn with a finger?
Specification: mmm
Mystery: You’ve just determined what I’ll spend 15-20k of the New Year’s Prize
Myth: I want a tablet, and I couldn’t come up with it, but I need it. But now...
Thought: In general, thank you

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №55492
 26.10.2011
taxman: instead of a luxury tax, I propose to introduce a tax on unicorns
luxary: ah, a family where there is a unicorn, paying a tax for it as luxury ))

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №55491
 26.10.2011
Krab: Listen I bought a WinRar license, help me install?! to
Jabs: User - "Krab" added to the ignorant list

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №55490
 26.10.2011
My friend laughed today. Further from his words:
The general’s son is just a fairy idiot. This morning, when he once again got me to his stupid, he said to him, say that you are approaching the pitecantrop in terms of quality of thinking. And he asks me who is a petecantrope.
I, realizing that I was somewhat upset, replied that this is a philosopher such, medieval, ah.
The fifteenth minute passes, and the rabbit calls the pope and says, “Behold, you call me a fool, and some people compare me to a philosopher in their thoughts, to this... as his... ". Okay though, I didn't remember, or I'd definitely lulled out of the gender.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №55489
 26.10.2011
On the professional examination, leaving the oculist's office:
Bad vision is compensated by good memory and intuition.
by sun_jumper

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №55488
 26.10.2011
News discussion: "Today on the market in the range:

- Stretching the bubble - you can smooth up the wrinkles, make it leaner or lush.
- You can make small lips a "bunt" or cut off all the ugly things from them.
- You can increase large sex lips or make them raise.
You can do something with the clitoris.
You can be a virgin again.
- You can "enlarge the G-spot" and a lot more."

And how our grandmothers and great-grandmothers lived without this and gave birth to 5-8 children - I don't mind.

Yyy: Sorry for the mat, but as one clever grandfather said, it’s because you used to fuck and kiss your lips, and now it’s the opposite.

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №55487
 26.10.2011
I like the English language. This is a beautiful phrase in Russian "writing to death" translated to "to doom to the doom"(

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №55486
 26.10.2011
Jehovah’s Witnesses woke up, I told them that since you exist – there is no God... and went on to sleep)))

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №55485
 26.10.2011
A well-coordinated four-foot can simultaneously give 39 pendels.

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