Remember how Kashpirovsky and similar wise men treated the people directly on television. I can say with all responsibility that the television broadcasts of the party “United Russia” have the same power, I myself was a witness.
I tell you: the father-in-law had a stroke 2 years ago, after which the speech completely disappeared. And here we sit and watch television, where they show the congress of this bright party: in the air there are stormy applause, constantly translating into ovations, mutual references and positive slogans. The testor carefully monitors everything that is happening and during the next ovations with a clearly placed voice gives out: "PIDORASES, ALL PIDORASES."
Then he gets up and goes to sleep.
P.S. Now we’re waiting for new episodes, maybe it will help.

When asked “What have you achieved in life?” the American retiree answers.
Chinese pensioner – “a lot of children and grandchildren”, and Russian pensioner – “retirement age”.

xxx: The struggle of clothes and laptop for a place in the bag was short, the outcome was predetermined :D
Did the beer win?

Mother told me:
“Today I heard one saleswoman in a shoe store say to another, ‘I can’t do more, I’ll get my boots at night. Another, dreaming: and I am a machine gun...

We have a traditional family punishment that is passed from generation to generation. It is called "Take the enemy on the back of the cat".

The Schnobel Peace Prize was awarded to the mayor of Vilnius Arthur Zuokas, who invented a new way to combat the bad habit of car owners to park them in the wrong places – using armored vehicles. The Lithuanian politician personally tested the effectiveness of the new technology by crushing the Mercedes, parked on a pedestrian crossing, with a vehicle. Speaking at the award ceremony, Zuokas explained that his initiative has gained worldwide recognition because “idiots are the same everywhere, regardless of where they live and what language they speak.” Who exactly should be meant by the word “idiot”, the mayor did not specify.

From Habr:
No, well, “I have a MacBook” is quite a universal answer for various situations.

“Do you use pirate software?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“What is your ass number?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“Do you read Blu-ray?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“How to get to Lenin Square?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“Don’t tell me how long?” – “I have a MacBook.”
“Are you smoking?” – “I have a MacBook.”

Current pickups provide:
Girls, can you tell me how to go straight?
I am :
Try not to turn anywhere.

I came up with the antonym of the word "trist", finding a bottle of cold beer on Saturday morning - "Uraška"

I understood why sweets "Sea Cummings" are so called, after I broke a tooth about a slice inside :(

We had a tough matana teacher. Repeated 8 times. The admission to the exam was also received by the whole stream not from the first time. So he still had the habit of airing the audience before each couple and during the break. In any weather. And he walked all the time in windshields and velvet pants (both in winter and in summer... and he read lectures in the same clothes. If suddenly another came, everyone was in shock. And sometime in February on a break, opened the window, we are all sitting in jackets, cold, the tooth on the tooth does not fall, he stands in his windshield (under which only a T-shirt is worn) and says, "It's cold? and nothing. Meat is better stored in the cold. Why are you all trembling? I haven’t changed clothes since September...Why are you laughing? Who told you I didn’t get rid of it?"))

Young man in headsets, pass on the journey! The young man! Are you dumb?! to

mmorg Blood and Soul
The system message:
The player has a rare skill of Mind.
Fabka says: Yeah.. very rare skill in our time :)

80% of Russians are not ready to give up pirated content
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

A: Yes, this is not a reference to the jurfake check.
B: Do the authors believe it? I thought they were weighing.

Description of the film:
Another film about TP, dreaming of living beautifully, by moving the legs. The fairy tale quickly ends and the reality begins, in which the grandmother understands that money should be earned by the mind, not the ancestor. Unfortunately, in our reality, this does not happen to the grandmother. Everyone thinks of themselves as an exceptional creature who thinks all the babies are stupid, and I am a queen. Therefore, the film is also worth watching for educational purposes, maybe somebody such a film will make to think and after school go not to the fool, but to the institute..))))) Although I am deceiving...)))

by Alexandra1987:
Director of the Glass Company:
- Someone comes to us and says, "I want to reserve my mercy". We ask: "From a gun, machine machine, rifle?"
In the sense? He is asking.
We take him to the demonstration hall, in which there are samples of armored glasses after field tests: one web from the PM, from the other half a bullet from the AK, etc.
The man looked and said:
That’s what everybody is (!) I will have to put new glasses!? to

And only rushed and restored the gift of speech, they offered him not to change the glass, but the country of residence :).

8 month pregnancy:
I will be happy when I can sleep on my stomach.
The drunk...
And displaced...

I woke up tomorrow and turned on the computer. And it’s cold, so I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat behind a compost like a cocon. Twenty minutes later, my mom comes in, looks at me and says, “Son, you’d dress up. Or you sit like a fool in a blanket."
A good start of the day.

He told the cat to guard the cake and went to the kitchen for tea. I’m back – no cat, no cookies = (Gadina...