bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №53184
 11.09.2011
FAKER: I stumbled when I was sitting in the cafe in the deep evening and saw this masterpiece: - a pair sat behind the next table, a fragile girl in glasses, alya galina sergeevna and a powerful powerful clear potcan!!!! The girl ordered tea, the boy ordered a bottle of beer (with a twisting lid)....the boy tries to open the beer doesn't work - the girl screams: - PASCHA CONTRA THE TIME!!! Pashah against... Pashah!! She opened up at the time of the day!!!)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №53183
 11.09.2011
I think my acquaintance today on the first floor with a new blonde neighbor has gone well:

How do you bring the refrigerator in the entrance??? The door is so narrow!
This is what! You haven’t seen us take our graves from here!

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №53182
 11.09.2011
XXX: You didn’t get out of Vanga!
YYY: I haven’t eaten it.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №53181
 11.09.2011
uralweb, in the title tape of two news in a row:

Animals organized a mass escape from the zoo of Kiev
President Obama's Uncle Released From Prison

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53180
 11.09.2011
XHH: Your Doll Tele2 works anywhere except in Moscow!
Yyy: It believes that this city does not exist. They despise Moscow.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №53179
 11.09.2011
Isn’t that a modest question?? to
Sally: Yes
Are you also licking the label of yogurt?? to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №53178
 11.09.2011
From '' Contact us'
I want sandals like Jesus. Who knows where they can be bought?
Yyy: God knows

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №53177
 11.09.2011
My mother told me. We have a cat and a dog, and the cat always shares the prey with the dog. And here the dog pulls the mother "prey" cats - a living bird! Mother, yesno, she insults her, saying, as it is not shameful - to catch birds! So this "accused" spit a bird, runs into the kitchen and stacks a cat on the back!!! Such a clear understanding of why she is mocked and that, in fact, it is necessary to mock a cat, no one expected from her! My mother even had a fight! And this dog, realizing that the shooting is cancelled, pulled the cat back!

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №53176
 11.09.2011
Guess who I am working for now!
A clown in the hospital?
I am a photographer! Mothers with children! Those who leave the home! So actually yes ))
Yippidy : )
XXX: I am still fine, the first day
Is career growth planned?
The next step - the birth shooting.
XHH: Then the conception
Oh, you look at me, and I’m going to get something wrong!

[ + 47 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53175
 11.09.2011
Diamant: During my life I have made countless tubes. It all started with the fact that my friend and I saw a pipe on the roof, he offered to shake. So as I never had a trumpet before, I was scared at first, but a friend said that no one will know and he will not tell anyone. I don’t know why I agreed, maybe because of my extreme curiosity. I took the pipe with two hands and began to move rhythmically from side to side, at first I was scared and uncomfortable, but then, when the pipe at the bottom of the pipe began to crumble and the pipe began to fall to the side, I liked it very much... Since then I could not stop anymore... I jumped on the roofs and shattered the pipe one after the other... It didn’t matter who’s the pipe, a wealthy aristocrat or a poor worker, my main goal was to shake the pipe. Sometimes, the owners of the pipes stuck me with a sliding pipe, but since I was able to run very fast, they never managed to catch me... One time, it turned out that I crossed all the pipes in my area, but I wanted more, I could no longer stop... I had to go to other areas and noticeably shake other people’s pipes while the owners were at work. At this point, I’ve shaken the pipes in the 3 districts of my city, but I can’t stop... When I first shaken the pipe, I didn’t know that everything would turn so that I, with red eyes and shaking hands, would run over the roofs in search of another pipe to fill the rubbish...

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53174
 11.09.2011
Do not underestimate hatred, envy and greed. These are almost the only sincere feelings that people have today.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №53173
 11.09.2011
I took old photos with my wife. For some, our grandparents are five years younger than we are now. Orders, orders and winners.
In short, I remembered... My late grandfather spent the whole war in armored troops, was in the rank of captain, had many orders and medals. When I was a kid, my parents divorced, and my grandfather and grandmother took me with them. I lived with them until the end of their days. My grandfather actually raised me, and his stories about the war I remember, and I can tell them again to this day. Now the bottom line: Seven years ago I met the charming Armenian Olya.
She was six years older than me, but she looked (and looks) like a peer.
Literally, on the fifth day of her acquaintance, she resigned to her solid fiancé and moved to me, known throughout the district of Leche-Miga.
Her parents were in shock, but her parents were in shock. In shock, as Sergei
The Beast. Father retired, wanted to fill my mouth, but it is not so easy, since I still served in the Air Force, and the future aunt retired not to be a ridicule. Mother-headbuck arranged hysterics with falling on her knees and swinging across our whole yard. But here it was not easy to cope with her daughter, because she had heard it all many times. A short gesture. In general 1) Younger by 6 years, 2) Jew by nationality, 3) Without higher education 4) Was conditionally convicted 5) Olya wanted to take his surname, etc. The case went to the wedding, and my future aunt and aunt launched a heavy artillery: the grandfather of Armene. Despite his 92 years of age (one of my grandfather’s peers, but he died 10 years ago) heined complete clarity of mind.
It was approaching May 9, and suddenly polite invited to the grandfather, where the whole large Armenian family gathered. Or do you have something to be ashamed of? Okay well.
Olya in advance frightened me how her grandfather was able to pressure young boys.
Nothing, I say, along with your family, we will announce that you have already gone 2 months...You didn’t know my grandfather...
We sat down, talked and drank. After drinking, I talked about my grandfather. Grandfather Armén, who had looked at me with goodwill and smoked right at the table, suddenly darkened. Relying on the rod, he stood up, passing, knocked me on the shoulder, we went to the kitchen, we smoked. Everyone was very surprised. From the kitchen, the grandfather whispered several relatives who smoked there, and it began...
Can you repeat the number of the brigade where your grandfather served?
- NoNoNo of the Order of such and such separate guard tank
The brigade. I know from childhood.
Where did the war end?
Under Prague, and then, in 1946, they were transferred to Ukraine.
The lions.
Did your grandfather repair?
Why is? He was the commander of the tank company until October 1944.
The tank was struck, wounded, and written to SPAM. The repair part,
Who does not know)
– And his name is M...ch, – he calls his grandfather’s name... I gently speak.
and Ochrenel.
Where did you come from, I was attacked.
Why is your name T?
Because he is my grandfather by mother, and I am by father.
– I saw him like you now... – grandfather roared in Armenian, – I was a commander.
The communications company was, with their brigade... It was unlikely he could tell you about me.
We were not friends, but we were in contact periodically.
I listed some of my grandfather’s names, and my grandfather’s.
Everybody except one or two were familiar. I started telling about these people, and he picked up my story, sometimes corrected it. There were tears in the eyes of the old Armenian.
Do you love her? Asked my grandfather.
Did you not understand that?
Just as Jewish as your grandfather, you ask a question. - said
He is.
We have seen more. He did not survive before our wedding. Testo (which I’ve already written about) and the aunt love me like their son. They dreamed of their son. Olivia has two children. Father Rudolf and Father Armene. Thank you for being there!! I will try not to disappoint your grandchildren.

[ + 42 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53172
 11.09.2011
The president offered to buy aircraft abroad. Or maybe we go out and buy the president abroad, and the prime minister with the cabinet of ministers? Could life be better?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №53171
 11.09.2011
2 the course. The East Fac. Lectures on the history of Russia. A young predecessor notices that one student fell asleep (Alina) with her hand in her beard. The dialogue:
Prep: Is she sleeping?
I: Yes
Preponza continues the lecture in half-voice. I sincerely admire her humanity. Within 20-30 minutes. Alina falls on her forehead in the party.
Prep (an inhumane scream): Good morning, Alina Khasanalievna!!! We have a lecture here...
Alina falls from the chair with one move back, the first two rows of students shifted their backs by half a meter and sat with a rabbit’s pulse until the end of the lecture.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №53170
 11.09.2011
10.09.2011 15:13:42, This
A ghost ship or a non-existent ship?
10.09.2011 15:30:21, This
How will he be called again?
10.09.2011 15:43:13, Grim Reaper
The Ghost Ship
10 September 2011 15:43:59, Grim REAPER
The invisible boat
10 September 2011 15:44:35, Grim REAPER
The transparent cruiser
10 September 2011 15:45:49, Grim REAPER
Barcas is invisible to the eye!!! to
10.09.2011 15:44:45, This
The Flying Dutchman, Balda

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №53169
 11.09.2011
Smska from one good acquaintance.Candidates for the title of the most female smska in history.

I love him, he doesn’t love me, I’m hurt, I’m a fool, what should I do?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №53168
 11.09.2011
xxx: They have something, but it’s something like under the screw, and again, under the mac.
yyy: Linux types will write themselves)
Linux edits photos via console.
YYY: Well, Cole showed the video in text mode. What is the worst picture?
Okay, he’s going to go to the shops on SSH.

[ + 51 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53167
 11.09.2011
My cat 3 months of breed, consumed the current that pounds of cream, surprised at it decided to weigh, you won't believe 350 grams.

How a cat sweats!

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №53166
 11.09.2011
Do you believe in love at first sight?

If it’s shoes, I believe it.

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53165
 11.09.2011
Commentary on the girl’s photo:
Transvestites in Thailand look better.

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