bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №51564
 10.08.2011
Marsiano4ka: Vasily - a truly irreplaceable programmer in our office
Marsiano4ka: no one understands his code except himself.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №51563
 10.08.2011
What is "What is "What is "What is "?
It is soakable.

[ + 61 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51562
 10.08.2011
BBBrain: British scientists have concluded that sneezing is an alternative to orgasm. The mechanism of both processes is very similar. This process is identical to sneezing: when a person wants to sneeze, the tension in certain muscles increases, and then discharge occurs.
Dfstorm: Fuck that’s all! I smoked and smoked

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №51561
 10.08.2011
A photographer wants to photograph a cat in the yard, addresses the grandmothers on the bench:
Can I take a picture of your cat?
It is a bad sign – he will die.
Can you be photographed?
No, then we will die.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №51560
 10.08.2011
SentriX Pushes: Noise – It Hurt

<SKcorp.> SentriX: The mixer was deprived of virginity.

[ + 49 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51559
 10.08.2011
Playing Son with Father online:

Daddy, fuck the fuck! Learn to play!
I fucking fuck your mom!
The Son: Cap

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №51558
 10.08.2011
X: You are in contact.
Kirill: I have
X: Write me an invitation
Kirill: I invite you, Lecha, to become my friend in contact!
X: The SP

[ + 78 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51557
 10.08.2011
I live on the second floor.
The windows are open, I sit under it and I sneeze very loudly and loudly twice. A few seconds from the street:
Be healthy and grow big!! to
I look out the window, and there a girl comes in and looks out the window.
thank you!
She smiled and went on.
There are such people...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №51556
 10.08.2011
I went to the dentist in the afternoon, generally overtaking the baby with my mother
Baby: Mom and after the rain mushrooms come out and then rainbow
Mom: Daddy, so it happens, Grandma just went for mushrooms
When your grandmother eats mushrooms, will she also have a rainbow?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №51555
 10.08.2011
"By visiting kindergarten, Azarov promised Ukraine condoms"

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №51554
 10.08.2011
xxx>how can I get rid of social pressure if I don’t want to get married?
yyy>be a man to bleat :)

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №51553
 10.08.2011
Gato: I witnessed how my friend decided to meet a girl passing by. The girl turned out to be...eye... too accessible. by Cherry. and :)

This is the kind of girl I want to wear...
She: “Breaking” to wear on her hands? “Jumping on your hands”
He: * strongly presses, leaving no chance to get out of his hands * No. to rape. *take away *

[ + 50 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №51552
 10.08.2011
The situation is this - at the entrance to the venue began to gather emo and began to carry out their sitting there. On the window, they listen to depressive music, and with their appearance chase into the thirst of passing residents. On verbal remarks react sluggish, take references from a psychiatrist, etc., I am very sorry guys. I would like to hint somewhat subtly that life is not a cause for sadness, for which I would like to spray there a sufficient amount of "rejoicing gas" or something like that. Anyone know where to buy it?

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №51551
 10.08.2011
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Didn’t you play at GTA?
You go into the shelf. Car and Oppo. A carrier with 5 bullets.
yyy: in Russia you go into the police machine, and there OPA, Tajik without registration with 5 Uzbek.

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №51550
 10.08.2011
Well, why all the working hours you want to sleep and you are cut out every 15 minutes, and when you come home you have all fucking slept out?? to

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №51549
 10.08.2011
[14:47:55] xxx: You can hold the smoke at your table until Friday ))
[14:48:28] yyy : let it go, let us stand on its possibility=)

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №51548
 10.08.2011
oira666 (16:32:55 9/08/2011)
Lawyers in commercial companies are specialists in the fight against Russian legislation

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №51547
 10.08.2011
How often verbal diarrhea is taken for freedom of speech.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №51546
 10.08.2011
The Infernal Room
This story happened in the midst of the crisis of the 98s. Terrible times, who was everything, often became nothing. My friend Maxim, who was also everything at first, immediately became nothing, but today he again became everything and even half of everything.
And in those days his business almost collapsed, Max had to sell all his property - it was necessary to ruthlessly break up with numerous silks to settle with at least some debts. Even a Moscow apartment and a house in Barchive were auctioned.
The saddest thing is that our bankruptcy was hopelessly in love with an American and planned to get married, but what a marriage if you need to sell everything to get enough for the debts for the most impatient bandits...
Maxim did not bother his beloved bride with financial problems, afraid to scare her up.
Why should an American woman marry a Russian hungry man? The day has passed, and tomorrow will be.
And here came a new default of family significance – the bride announced that her parents with her aunt and cousins, tomorrow fly to Moscow to meet the future son-in-law and in a narrow family circle to mark their engagement.
But most importantly, the American ancestors - aristocrats and simultaneously owners of a large production company, wished that a good violin quartet must be played at the celebration, because this is such an exciting moment - the engagement of the only beloved daughter.
Max was terrified. Not only that his favorite is not an orphan and you need, in addition to overseas parents, to feed a whole oak of broken aunt and cousin, here and so cheap poylo has to be poured into expensive bottles and on you, a blow to the breath - a violin quartet and also a good...
The judgment day came and on the lawn of the almost sold house, a family celebration began.
A couple of tables, light snacks, candles, a rushing waitress (he is the brother of the bridegroom...). But what is it? On the edge of the lawn is a white tent without windows and doors, and from the tent the gentle and exciting sounds of Vivaldi, Mozart and Haydn.
American father, stunned by the skill of performance, wished to personally thank the musicians, but the future son-in-law stopped him:
You see, these are not ordinary musicians, I’m specifically for today’s music.
The party took them out of London. They are not bound by a contract.
were entitled to speak here, but I made them an offer from which
It was unrealistic to refuse even stars of such magnitude, because the engagement of the
It happens to me only once in my life. Sorry, but I promised you.
No one will see them, because at the end of the day, the most important thing is theirs.
Unhuman music
Good boy, you know how to solve problems.
Thro the evening, the quartet with interest exceeded any orders of American violin music lovers. Everyone was delighted.
The night came, the candles were extinguished, the family celebration was over.
The Americans once again, finally standing in front of the white tent, applauded the invisible virtuosos, after which the happy and softened went to their hotel.
As soon as the Yanks arrived, the fierce and hungry messengers of hell began to come out of the white tent.
All in black skin, in the nose of the ring, on the faces of the tattoo, in the ears huge holes into which a tennis ball can easily slip. The only human thing they had was two lost violins, a violoncel and alt. At first, they stumbled each other to the toilet, and then sucked to the specially prepared canister of beer for them.
These were old acquaintances of Max, an active basement punk group. So I had to borrow breathing tools for them, and make the unhappy punks remember their conservative past. Well, don’t show these insane spells to advanced Americans.
Max promised that when he became rich, he would add a new bass guitar to the band.
He became an American and became rich. I did not cheat, gave such an expensive guitar, selling which, you can all the hell whip another whole year...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №51545
 10.08.2011
The dogs running behind the cars are the souls of the Haishnikovs.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna