bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №49724
 03.07.2011
Scorpio: Yesterday with Max, well, the one that glamorous we went to play cards. I beat him by 15 thousand until he guessed the mirror glasses to remove %-)
Annie =)))

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №49723
 03.07.2011
From Rambler News:
XXX is autumn. I stand at a tram stop. According to the law of cold - the tram is not necessary for 25 minutes. There is already an impressive crowd waiting for the desired"five". I am bored to see cars passing by. Here, a beautiful thing rolls on it: a yellow-dirty tractor with two plumage tractors in the cabin, clearly tuned by a magneto, judging by the sounds coming from it, and proudly crowned from the top with the Russian flag-tricolor.

What a grandfather of intelligent appearance, bowing in the coat says: "And indeed this tractor really does not badly symbolize Russia - powerful, but dirty, procured with the sludge carried from everywhere. "The terrified people smiled, deciding to add moods and I continue the topic: "Aga. And driven by two half drunk urks!"

The smiles disappeared. People turned away. It became quiet. is terrible.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №49722
 03.07.2011
xxx: Mom, what phone do you like more - folders or monoblocks?
YYY: I love the "transformers"...
XXX: How is it?
Yyy: Well, they are like this (hands in the air) first fold in half, and then up on the sides...
XX: Where have you seen it?
YYY: Yes, they are sold everywhere. 11 thousand is worth.
There are no such phones!
YYY: I tell you about the couch...I don’t need a phone.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №49721
 03.07.2011
What you will not see in Russia. Just under the window there was a drag-racing between the bicycle and the scooter xD Oka was slowly driving, the big overtaken went) almost overtaken and then the eye drowned) meters 15 big on a level with the scooter was, then stood behind )))

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49720
 03.07.2011
XX: I am a genius
I had to call one person the next day.
xxx: and I guessed on the sticker to write "call somebody tomorrow" and glued it to the monitor.
Every day, for two weeks, the brain successfully performed the instructions from the sticker.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №49719
 03.07.2011
The power of the Internet - it was worth a couple of times to mention Schrödinger, as he immediately became popular: and cats he has, and bugs, and girls...

[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49718
 03.07.2011
Something everyone has forgotten about "and remember?"...

Remember there was such a toy, with a screen in the middle and inside the water? Were there spies and circles that had to be planted on those spies? Yin...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №49717
 03.07.2011
In the shop. The little boy points his finger and says, “Mom! Mother! Look what a doll!" Mother looks where her son points and brings out with lightning - NO HUNDRED LYLL! And there is a bald man under 2 meters and pumped, which smells more on the closet than on a person.

[ + 71 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49716
 03.07.2011
We know that we are different! In Spangebob, the crab has a whale daughter :)))

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №49715
 03.07.2011
News from Mail Ro:
An American tourist who went on a diving trip to Australia was forgotten 30 miles off the coast.
The story ended well. He accidentally picked up another boat. The employee who made a mistake in the calculation was fired. As for the victim, he was refunded the money for the excursion and handed a restaurant voucher of $210.

From the comments:

Now, to complete the picture, he must get poisoned in a restaurant where he uses a voucher.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №49714
 03.07.2011
We went with a little-known company from the forum on mushrooms. The camera was only one of the girls, she clicked on them all.
Then I get a letter with the topic "Here are the photos! Tell me when you get it".
I think strange something.
But I honestly describe: "On the first photo we sit by the fire and roast sausages", "On the second photo we stand and look at baskets with mushrooms", "On the third photo a big mushroom"...
I shrugged my shoulders and sent a description. But I decided not to communicate with her anymore, in any case - if not enough, I am afraid of psychics.
She also decided not to talk to me. I then re-read, the topic was "Describe when you get"

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №49713
 02.07.2011
XXX is:
1st Copy this message and divide it into 7 groups.
2nd Go to your page.
Three Press the F5.
You will get 10 votes!! to
Verified!! Votes can only be added once a day.
(Today at 18:03)

YYY :
Write this comment to 564 images, click here.
once, hit your head on the wall, weave the fork in the eye, burn your hair under the mushroom,
And in a minute, the guy you love will call you.
(Today at 18:05 am)

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №49712
 02.07.2011
I stand in a row in the store, the guy (p) has already bought a lot of everything and here is a dialogue with the seller (pr):
A: And the condoms.
For 10 or for 45?
P: mm, for 10... and chocolate for the rest.
A small one? A big one?
A: The big one doesn’t run.


[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №49711
 02.07.2011
by Maaaam! If they call from the army, tell them I won’t go today.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №49710
 02.07.2011
and honey. Website and on-line consultation:
Please help with advice. I tried to make a false imitator on the advice of a friend from beets. I just cut off my scrotum. The method was really affective. The phalloimiter turned out to be so good that in a state of affection, in the process of preliminary loves, so to speak with deep throat, I accidentally swallowed it. Tell me if the specified beetle will be digested in my stomach and how long if its size is approximately 16 * 3 cm?

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49709
 02.07.2011
In short, it was like this: Not so long ago, 2 weeks ago, while watching TV, my wife gets up and goes to the toilet. Following in the bath. After 3 minutes, she enters the hall and laughs as if she was a fucking 10 years old and she is looking eralash. I ask what the matter is. He replies: I go into the bathroom, I look at the floor and I see your cowards going under the bathroom. At first, I decided to go to Gluck, then I decided to check. It turned out not a glucose, but three cockroaches decided to scratch your cowards))))

[ + 69 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49708
 02.07.2011
You are not my girlfriend, you have no right to be jealous of me. For now, I am municipal property, not private. If you privatize me, then be jealous.

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №49707
 02.07.2011
I'll be back soon, at the monument
YYY: In which one? O_O
XXX: Beyond the Bridge
YYY: Lovely
YYY: The Favorite
Tagged: sunshine
Tagged: cat
Tagged: Blind
YYY: Your own mother
This is Peter!
There are bridges everywhere.
And the monuments...

[ + 108 - ] Comment quote №49706
 02.07.2011
The fucking. It hits when it’s hot, you’re in the transport, it’s rushing, finally the wind in the face, and it’s crazy... how’s something, sorry, it’s crazy, it’s crazy! So I want to blow them out of the bas with the words "This is Sparta!"

[ + 79 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №49705
 02.07.2011
I am in a clothes or shoe store. There is a conversation before me:
girl:...you don’t understand, they just fit me under my shoes, color in color...
guy: * breaking up in a scream, almost a false* I smashed you a beard that suits the colour of the shoes???!! How are you going to wear them?!...
The girl stood thinking at the shelf with her shoes when I approached.

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