bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44564
 16.03.2011
"Is it mandatory to shave your head and beard if you become a cowboy or can you not shave anything?"

Keep your head shaved, you can leave your beard.

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44563
 16.03.2011
Our courts seem to be the only ones who have the secret of time travel. Only with this skill can you create a document on February 22, write in it the requirement to appear on February 19 and send the document by mail on March 4!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №44562
 16.03.2011
xxx: the stars of our epidemic of heart disease crashes, cocaine may have hit the capital

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44561
 16.03.2011
The spring, the cats again.
No one is needed except you!
A little left to wait.
I will go looking for you!

[ + 71 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44560
 16.03.2011
aaa: Interestingly, half of those who write in their favorite books “The Master and Margaret” have at least read it?
They’ve heard a lot of good things about her.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №44559
 16.03.2011
A true passionate kiss causes the same chemical reactions in the brain as a parachute jump and gun shooting. Do love, not war!
YYY: Do you suggest that everyone who knows about shortcomings enroll in the army?

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №44558
 16.03.2011
The Web Silence:
I am about acidity... Etok ak I eat salt all the time... I want to. From childhood... salt is lacking in the body))

The Ranger:
I have eaten sweet from childhood. As a child, I ate sugar and drank sweet water. Just water with sugar.
and salt food. Salt is like that. And the salt.
Since I was a child, I only knew what I ate, what I ate, what I ate.
I lack food in my body.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №44557
 16.03.2011
One of my acquaintances, having moved from a bad school to a good school with an inclination to geography, emotionally so, with a punch, says to me:
“But thanks to my new school, I know that the capital of America is not the United States, but New York!”! to

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №44556
 16.03.2011
The girl bought things in the market and told everyone that it was in a expensive store, but nobody noticed. Everyone was fucking on the girl.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №44555
 16.03.2011
by admin (17:59:49 15/03/2011)
Fuck... turned on the computer remotely, a couple of programs delivered, turned off. I turned on again, turned off... I went and looked, I met a girl in the door, who complained to me: I turn off the computer, and it turns on again!
by admin (17:59:52 15/03/2011)
I will kill...

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №44554
 16.03.2011
The male imperial penguin reaches a height of 160 cm and weighs an average of 35-40 kg, but the maximum weight of the male can reach 60 kg.
Judging by my taste, the ideal of my companion of life is the fat male of the imperial penguin.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №44553
 16.03.2011
Writing by Ash.

XXX: What is there?
Yyy: That he died (

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44552
 16.03.2011
Hawkeye: The mood is not very good.
Hawkeye: Okay, let’s do the next thing.
Rin: the cure for all diseases, seven letters?
Hawkeye is a rope.
Rin is hm. In fact, it is a panacea.
Rin: But I like the course of your thoughts. OOO

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №44551
 16.03.2011
If a person does not care about himself, the people around him will gladly support him in this.

[ + 64 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №44550
 16.03.2011
Chess Figures
A touching story was told by a friend - the old KGB Bashnik Yuri Tarasovich.
Once his comrades - war veterans "settled" so that he "supported" his former connections and reduced them to the tir to shoot from a three-line - the last time in life to hold the real front weapons in his hands, to remember youth...
Tarasych seemed to promise, but somehow not specifically... all postponed and repelled.
A year passed.
The veterans buried another of their friends and said:
- You, Yuri, what are you waiting for, that we will die one by one, and you do not need it.
Will we be in the news...? You promised him too...
The cover was nothing, Yuri Tarasovich postponed all the affairs, called, the tension of the one-cash general, he gave "good", and the next day the "guard" brought the grandparents to some underground tir, where various special services are exercising in shooting.
Grochot stood incredible: who was on the move "smiling", who, lying with overlords, who in a second from "Stechkin" released the whole embrace, one of something whispering-silent firkal...
Finally, in the shootings made a break, brought a sniper rifle
Mosin without optics, called our grandparents, (only six people), gave them three bullets, pointed to the "submersible" target in fifty meters:
“Who is first?”
The men around smiled and cheered approvingly, when the grandfathers, wrapping up medals, skillfully, in business, loaded their weapons. It was immediately apparent that
Everyone’s hands remember.
Although almost none of the veterans got into the “fascist”, but still after the next shot, friendly applause of the fighters was spread around.
Grandparents were as happy as boys.
The last in line had to shoot the old front sniper grandfather
and maxime.
He approached the fire line, charged his three cannons, shot himself without hitting, and confusedly departed.
Instead of applause, the surprising voices of the fighters said: “It’s mine!!! This is a sniper!“Sniper and lived to our days, oh young people!”“!”
The boys knocked their comrades and a minute later near grandfather Maxim, already crowded with dozens of fighters and all grabbed his hand. Every young man gave an old sniper: who a badge, who a shell with a bullet, who takes, and in response began to ask, at least something for good luck. For them, the war has not yet ended, and luck they will need, and the best talisman is a thing from the sniper, who won the whole war and remained alive...
Grandfather Maxim was confused, scratched in his jacket and pulled out the small pocket chess. He gave everyone a figure, wished them good luck and said, "May each of your battles always end only with your shot."

Yuri Tarasych was somewhat discouraged by what was happening, he approached one sniper, who wrapped the chess figure in a paper so as not to lose, and asked him:
- And how do you all realize that grandfather Maxim was a former sniper, because he was not even a sniper?
Have you ever hit the target? And I didn’t tell anyone.
There are no former snipers. Reflections received nearby
With the enemy's barracks, you will not drink.
When he after the shot overthrew the fence, he did so sniperly, with his wrist, so that the gylza did not fly away, but jumped into his palm.
This is so that the flying gyllene does not shine in the sun or move the grass.

On the way back in the bus, Grandfather Maxim slowly asked Tarasych:
Did you tell them that I was a sniper on the front?
No, Maxim, they understood it from your eagle’s gaze.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №44549
 16.03.2011
Relations between Russia and the United States have improved since September 11.
Relations between Russia and Poland after the crash of the presidential plane.
Relations between Russia and Japan after the earthquake and tsunami.
I am afraid to think about what the FSB will do with Latvia so that relations with it will also improve.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №44548
 16.03.2011
Clean the screw. I broke porn. Exhaust: released 5 gigs and finished twice...

[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №44547
 16.03.2011
I am standing on the balcony, smoking. People are fighting down there. Hardly so. I watched the girl beating the boy. The boy resisted, but slowly.
The case is obvious - Perm women are generally harsh.
The boy runs out, runs to the passing part.
You do not love me! He is screaming.
He loves you, you fool.
and stop! The lover screams. Fuck, Pete, the car is going to hit you now!
At three jumps, he catches the victim and forcefully returns to the sidewalk.
They stand and kiss.
This is the Turgenev girl.

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №44546
 16.03.2011
The explosive device in the Rostov supermarket turned out to be just a bag of grenade launches. I live in a fucking city.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №44545
 16.03.2011
Dreams are able to see and remember only people with a high level of intelligence, and the more intellectually developed a person, the more bright and colorful dreams he will dream. I’m so smart about that ? ? ?

I am schizophrenic, I am okay.

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