Oil magnates beat in hysteria and swallow the corvalol: soon the world will be able to do without gasoline. A British company has synthesized a new type of fuel that does not emit greenhouse gases when burned. The hydrogen-based compound was created using nanotechnology. The cost of a liter of 21st century fuel is less than $0.5. Only the phrase “British scientists” is annoying.

Calling the internet provider call center, calling a girl
-Hello, my computer doesn't feel the cable because the plug has relaxed

Sometimes I really want, along with the buttons: Funny, Not Funny and Баян - to have the button: Funny!

Comrade told the story:... one day I went to Domodedovo to meet a relative from vacation. I arrived, the control at the entrance gesture, mines with metal detectors rage at the entrance, passed the control, entered the arrival zone, I am waiting for a relative... comes out a company of healthy, drunk guys, one asks loudly - taxi drivers are... run a few brave Darmoedov taxi drivers... and he says to them - Pid-ora you are all taxi drivers Domodedovsky, and we will not go with Pid-ora.

Imagine designing a new Russian police car. The inscription “POLICE” on the mouth, of course, is the opposite of a rear-view mirror, such as “ambulance” for an ambulance. It is YICILOP.

The fairy tale is theatrical old, but seen live (because the situation is typical for play detectives). According to the plot, the hero had to shoot himself, more precisely behind the scenes had to be a shot, and the doctor had to testify to death. Something went wrong, the capsule of pyrotechnics did not work, until the device was spelled, the director decided to poison it. It was not attached to the text, it merely blunted.
“The Suicide.” Warned everyone who had time at the time of development to go behind the scenes, unfortunately, that was not all. In general, after waiting for the shot, the doctor referring to the "tragic sensations" fled to the neighboring house.
“Room” and returned with his distorted response:
The Lord! Lady please sit down. The Lord is dead, he was poisoned!
Those who don’t know, played the most organic scare. The last word was clearly outlined and addressed to them. At this time, a cartridge "for a break" works at the square when trying to get it, the echo worked in the orchestral pit. Ivan Alekseevich (experienced actor) played a major soldier in retirement, he sat in a chair and did not leave the stage from the very beginning. Those who lived on the stage of life taught him everything, so, with general confusion, he unwaveringly proclaimed:
M is m! It also exploded... yes, a great poison...

My father told me at dinner:
He stops me and I think:
Inspector Losew, your papers.
My father is submitting documents. Haishnik looks at those bills (and the glass is frozen, nothing is visible) and asks:
Is the techno okay?
It is until April.
How are you doing?
and bad.
Haishnik looks at my father with astonished and questioning eyes. The father continues:
120 rubles per kilogram. Gasoline 24 rubles.
Haishnik, not listening, gives the documents and says goodbye, and his father follows him:
Greek is the most offensive. I love her, and she, the fucker, weighs 120 rubles.

Olive
The former chief burned.

Olive
In the elevator we go, almost arrived, she looks at me and says, "Oh, Olya, it's you, I didn't recognize her, I never saw you dressed."

Today in the supermarket - a five-year-old boy rushes to the self-opening door with a photo element. My mom is catching him.
A man with an untransmitted panic in his voice:
The portal is closed!!! )

A friend tells us how good the universe is:
The universe is all. There I found a good friend, a sleek guy, I had sex...
Glory and wait. I hope it has nothing to do with it?
(c) The Dark God

Yes, and if you go further into the forest - you can get puzzles from elves, well, and in the yard from the Goblins, and in the washing of zombies so forever roar blue and smell. We live in a fairy tale.

As you know, the habit is formed for 42 days..four months in a row the shlakbaum near my house was raised, a week ago it was dropped and for 6 days in a row I am beating him.

The warm stories of Lada
History of 1.
At a speed of 110 km/h suddenly! He jumped out to the right of Kamaz right in front of his nose. On the brake pedal, I live, jim, jim, and she failed to the floor and stayed there to sleep, I take the crane to the left, I fly to the meeting, I see the O_O drives on the cruise, I fly KAMAZ, the cruise left of me, I take the crane to the right, I pull the towel, slowly brake
...
There is something hot on my feet.

My 5 year old son and I go to the garden.
Rome: And yesterday Dima Xushu hit his teeth. She went and complained to the teacher.
I: Why didn’t you go, you guys!
Roma was busy. I had a serious conversation with Slavik.
I: What could be more serious than an offended girl?
The Roma War.

The most pleasant are excited breasts. When the nipples harden like 2 tumblers in a plane. I want to take and swing.

From a friend’s story about his girlfriend:
No no, she is good! Sometimes I just want to shoot her in the head.

I go home from work and see the fog. I think "Oh! The Poor. My garage is burning, my garage is burning. :(

XXX: I attend a lecture.
xxx: the fuck, the predator sits talking about the security of the network
XXX: I am in his compass.
XXX: The photo pumped itself on the flash

“Where are you with your wicked hero in the rectum?”? to

<Mort> Fuck help... I closed my brother on the balcony
<five_Fingers> What is it?
Mort: We pissed something, he went to the balcony for clothes, I went to the room and automatically closed the door, and went to myself.
<Mort> 15 minutes ago
<Mort> and it’s like a window, you can’t open it from the outside.
<Mort> I’m scared to get there!! to
<five_Fingers> you open and run))
<Mort> I approached and ran away!
<Mort> he looked at me through the door THAT... with this look you can cut the strawberries
<Mort> If I'm going missing, forgive me that five-hour