Today, I wrote a statement to a passportist about the newborn's registration, and in addition to a bunch of papers, they were given another paper to fill (I don't remember before, it wasn't).
First Count: Name Fatherhood
I, as a father (applicant for a passport), have already begun to fill out my data (I write my name) and here the passportist stops me:
The statement must be written by the person who is signed.
She was doing some of her business at that time and apparently said this phrase on the machine.
In my confusion, for three seconds, the gift of speech disappears and I press out:
How would he write if he was just born and could not write?! to
The passportist, naturally, seeing my reaction, turned away from her affairs and looked at me as an idiot and said:
You are a father and you have to write your son’s data.

Here I got the understanding of all this bureaucratic comicity, that I write on behalf of the newborn and after writing the name and paternity of my son I start to press from laughter reading the following line:

Where did he come from and in the clamps nearby (place of the previous checklist)

...
Guess what to write there?

- Comrades, there is a chance to become a secret sushi buyer in Peter! Visit once a week, preferably continuously. The reward will be the payment of the account of 580 rubles. Restaurants in different parts of the city. Whoever is interested write! The aim is to evaluate the quality of service.
– Peter doesn’t have so much land, mostly water... But I’d take a couple of hectares to start. Secretly )

My husband left me, greetings.
Congratulations, what about something?
XXX: I didn’t say something...
Per he will soon die and not want to upset you?? to
Q: What, did you hit your head?? to
Wow, no... but it’s so romantic, fucking fuck it!!)))

The red sun:
He had a birthday and
All his friends gathered. They sat and drank and suddenly the father came.
The boy. The father told his son that he was in a hurry for his birthday.
Broke a man. This man is lying dead in the trunk and his father asked
Tell all your friends about it to help them.
Get rid of the corpse. The guy told his friends and they all immediately appeared.
What urgent things. They all split, only a girl remains.
The guy (who loved him more than his life) and his best friend. They
He went down to the car and opened the luggage. There were two in the luggage.
A box of vodka. Let only true friends always be with us.

by Borodavka:
They are real friends!!! 2 cups of vodka for 4 people!!! Considering that the girl is not drinking almost. Where are their graves?

bogomol: Yesterday the son saw the cartoon Timon and Pumbaa for the first time... no one has ever suffered so much from the fact that the cockroaches moved in the house.

The problem of the Stone Age: how to get food and females?
The problem of the ancient world: how to stop the barbarians?
The problem of the Middle Ages: how to punish pagans and do nothing?
The problem of the Renaissance: how to move to art and forget about the Middle Ages?
The problem of the 20th century: how to stop the conflict between the countries of the first and second world?
The problem of modernity: what would look like under the canvas?

XXX: Listen to
xxx: what is the name of the document that you can tick the neighbors in the roof with the request to repeat the repair?? to
yyy: a testament written from their face

XXX: Are you exactly 18 years old?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX: Yes, nothing
YYY: How would you give me contact?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

4Gin
I figured from American films.
Hell Girl
M is?
4Gin
GHs had to go through a room with pressure sensors
Hell Girl
and?
4Gin
"They will make hot from anything heavier than coins"
4Gin
And one GG (type ninja) on one finger crossed this room.
Hell Girl
T.T
4Gin
Do they really think that by moving on the fingers, a person weighs less?

Served in the army for two years. I was there at the headquarters.
The most memorable was the handing over of the results of the half-year to the commander of the division.
The results were presented in the form of a large poster - about 3 per 2 meters.
But drawing them has not become fashionable anymore - we are a modern army!
They were printed on the printer. The A4. Moreover, the laser was preserved and everything that had time was printed on the matrix.
Every six months at 21.00 we were informed that by 7.00 a.m. the poster should be a speech.
And we three all night as damned, pumping coffee, printing sheets of paper, scalpeled (real such scalpel - to the office knives did not progress then) cut the sheets and glued scotch.
Only for the third time came the enlightenment - to the general, which is written in the poster. We just changed our hat.
Happiness is here :)

Do you want me to teach you the theory of probability?
Are we going to fuck without a condom?

Women open a closet full of clothes, think for a long time and say: “There is nothing to wear!”
The men open the refrigerator full of food, think for a long time and say, “There is nothing to eat!”

Do you have an energy-saving lamp in the bathroom?
Yesterday: Yes
Lorat: Or I was scared, I washed my face, and it immediately became brighter...

... this, the big stuff is, simply, broken, and this small stuff is "The quick response stuff for the spot cleaning of the terrain".

xxx: I am passing by a lark with a shaurma - I decided to cling: I am approaching, I say "Listen! by Darage! Give me a shirt! It is the greatest!"

xxx: the seller (Russian ordinary appearance) looked at me so expressively and said: "bla... how you hit"

The road to the country passes through the take-off.Of course, sort of as prohibited,but in the circumference for a long time... I was riding a large, the plane was going to land, I wanted to jump through, I was afraid that I would not have time.Stopped next to the take-off, so I fell from the flow of air together with the great.Then I thought that if it had not stopped in time, my family would not be ashamed to say, the plane was shot down.

News: Legendary DEEP PURPLE/RAINBOW guitarist Ritchie Blackmore, who participated in the project Rock Aid Armenia, was awarded a commemorative medal by the Prime Minister of Armenia.
The comments:
SatanbI4: Now he is Richie Blackmore!

Found in one of the Internet sex shops:

Description of:
Does your boss have a brain at work? Revenge him, buy the boss’s brain and do with him whatever you want. The soft material "gel" resembles brain matter, and a hole decorated in the form of sexual lips will remind you what to do with it.

After looking at the advertisement, I decided to buy a magazine about hooking. I went to the Rosprint kiosk and asked the seller if there was such a magazine available.
Q: Did you want to buy this magazine?
I am pleased: Yes! And now I stretch out my hand for him...
P (taking the magazine back): And this is mine! It is no longer in sale. It closes from within...

I don’t have a plan of action, I’m dangerously improvised.