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xxx: today I went to form a contract with the company ooo "necropolis"...proposed to change the wording of "gen.director" to "supreme person";

Alice: Give it up, and I once walked around the city with a tail.
He was in the package.
Alice: I was scared to go to the store at 10 p.m. and I took a tail for the chance.

History of Aska

My cat barely eaten the printer :)
B is?? to
a - She's in my printer sleeps often, I didn't notice and turned it on the print :)))
B is lol
A – I have a cat.
Within 40 minutes the printer of wool cleaned up :)
B is ?
The cat is in shock :)))
The printer too ;)
A – I too
The printing
I hear the thunder and wild cat cries :)))
B – What is your printer?
The Xerox 3150
A - that the cat in it all accommodate
In short, she was lying where the paper goes out with the ass to the rolls that roll out the paper, well you understand, the printer turned on and the wool on the ass fell into these rolls.
B is lol

A – and then:
The Cat - Meyawau
Printer - crrkhchststststprr
I am Yamanarot, what for us.
LOL

A letter to the vendor from a system integrator about a failing project:

Dear Mr Barsukov!

In December last year, when you infused your glucose stinking XXX (soft name),
You were willing to say that his Slavic local will be presented to the honest people no later than the end of the winter.
The winter has passed, a new one has begun. We were in Siberia with snow on the tomatoes, but unfortunately, the presence of proper sandwiches and a warm body of nihua does not warm my angry soul. Localized as there was, and not. My partner is fucking with your supostatic craft like Ilya Muromets with the Snake Gorinich. He also called your men to help, but they sent his men to help, saying, “You will be blessed if you speak in our way.”
Barsucci to go! If you are scornful, you will not present me with a letter signed by your Master, which will tell me when the happiness of the acquisition of locals will enter my house, and you will not send me your hoodies, in order to soothe me from December this year, until December next, I will be angry with you and begin to avenge.
First, I will burn all the scrolls on which your work is printed. Furthermore, I publicly admit that we did not have a good cooperation with you. I will tell all the honest Siberian people, who manufacture wood and black gold, that you have snugged with the devil and you cannot be taken as companions in God-pleasing affairs.

Natasha Newarley: My blind man learned somewhere that vitamin C dies at a temperature of +60 degrees Celsius; that is, drinking hot tea with lemon is useless.
Natasha: Now he puts a lemon in a hot tea and waits for it to cool.
NatashaNeWarley: I sincerely believe that vitamins in cold water will revive)))

"The less the curves, the longer the road.“Ivory Shirt”

I read an old story about professional reflexes here and remembered my own.
In the cardiology of the mud was regularly placed a well-cultured lady of noble blood. Madam walked through the department in a silk strap coat with brushes on the belt and a chimney under her throat, demonstrating in all her appearance a grand etiket and tolerance for the surrounding bead.
My favourite topic for conversations were undermined nerves and a weak heart due again to the dullness of the surrounding reality. And the main feature - and the medical complaint - the ladies were fainting. I have to say that she imitated them quite skillfully, but burned on some theatricality and the fact that the injection of sterile water or phys. The solution in the form of a medication (necessarily in the presence of a doctor) always brought it into itself.
To get rid of this conservative prostitute, doctors did not dare to guess. They were placed in the department on the orders of the head. Doctor, and just silently sataneli. It is very inspiring, you know, when, after a night service or on the way to a really severe heart attack, you are intercepted for another fainting misanthropy and a subsequent half-hour lecture on the spiritual impoverishment of modern youth, who in opera and ceramics understand like a flock of pigs in oranges.
And one blessed day, the stars for this esthetic lady fell with cancer: first, she was prescribed an antibiotic for a slight bronchitis, and secondly, a sick duty honey. The sister was replaced by a colleague from pulmonology - a rough hundred-pound siberia, hardened by a drinking husband and deceased asthmatics with a variety of allergies to everything.
Appreciating the importance of the moment (the antibiotic still kneels!The lady decided to qualitatively demonstrate her favorite reception, but... honey. No one warned my sister about this benefit. And the admirer of all the grace instead of the expected phenomenon of the doctor and 5 ml of water in the vein received two unshakable spheres and a full set of emergency measures in anaphylactic shock, because she did not think to wake up quickly after the cracks, but, on the contrary, pulled out her eyes and shrieked from such a screaming greed.
The doctor stumbled upon an adrenaline, prednisolone, etc. amateur of fainting with a fist in her hand, two droplets in different veins, and a fierce aunt hanging over her body with a ready tongue holder and a bag.
Ambo...
In short, such shock therapy did not cause any harm other than benefits: fainting disappeared overnight, bronchitis dissolved itself, the patient immediately felt so well that he was discharged as soon as possible.
and honey. Without any joke, the sister was awarded a prize for timely and competent emergency assistance. It is better to be overwhelmed than a body on conscience.

New punishment for Russian officials: Strict presidential speech on Twitter with a post on Facebook.

by 111:
Can you reinstall the computer?

by 222 :
The wind?

by 222 :
Or from place to place?? to

How much can I get a tattoo?
YYY: for 2.5 thousand and more
Can you buy anything for 500 rubles?
YYY : of course! "Style "

Omsk beauties entertain the public with filigran possession of mohnatka (c) Tvaltvadze during the hockey match today

By 2012, your stories about the spoon will come to the workers of the nuclear power plant.

Suddenly, on my way, a prince and a crocodile will swim.
Mo_Ona : Oh

In the office.
1: What are you doing?
2: I am working
1: I seriously ask.

Yesterday I picked out cups in the store, and next to the shelves were various toys. Suitable mom and daughter (daughter at the appearance of 15 years old)...mama grit, maybe you have this cat...look how cute! Here I had to turn around and say with a smile...the girl is probably out of age to play in toys))) It is time to meet with the boys! The girl coughed and told me in a quiet bass that she chose a toy for her child))

I want to change the bath a little. Throw out the mirror and make a closet for all nonsense in its place. Don’t you know they do that on order?
On the order of people kill even, and you worry about the closet.

I am calling for SMS alerts. In Ural, not in the office. I am telling you the situation, Blabla.
Go to the specialist and wait for an answer.
Waiting for 3 minutes
Noise in the line. I am :
- Yes
You would say they took the phone.
I was told to wait for an answer.
And I was told
Are you a customer?
Yes, and what about you?
I’m a good customer, good luck to you.
And you too.

I want to watch porn in gravity.
That is to say, not to look in gravity, but to porn in gravity.
2 – Jokingly
1: Though looking in unheavy, I also don’t mind.
1: The power is thrown away!
1: And then you can play who gets involved first.
I will not fly into space with you.

From the Mom’s Forum:

How to remove fluid from baby’s ears?
Are you sick, Otitis?
Xxx: No
Did you swim a lot?
Xxx: No
YYY: So what then?
XXX you can guess! The urine! No adult man will be able to suck himself in the ear! Urinotherapy, fucking for children