bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39041
 18.11.2010
A woman, a vegetarian, bought at McDonald's in New York a Happy Meal package lunch - a hamburger and a fried potato. For 180 days, these products were laid on her table without any visible changes - neither mold nor rot the woman who photographed the hamburger every day for 6 months, did not find.
To conduct such an experiment, a curious American was prompted by the story of another woman, who claimed in 2008 that she has kept a hamburger from McDonald's since 1996. Another lady held a hamburger for 4 years and also noted any changes.

Yyy: These are gracious hamburgers.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №39040
 18.11.2010
The xxx:
So what? Internet speed is tolerable.
YYYY :
Not very much, but you can live. It was worse at the school.
The xxx:
In the institute, when you make a request in the yandex, somewhere in the basement a bell is heard. climbing up the sleeping grandmother, wearing the second glasses above the first, looking long into the received telegram on the tape, then with the face eradicated from pain and holding the hand behind the sick back. crawls to the warehouse, there goes to the highest hustle... gets a crumbling box, very long to dig in it, gets a lost perphocard and again rushing from the pain to break to the lamp mainframe, which occupies the whole basement of the institute and adjacent to it dormitory, puts in that hustle there. at the same time, the whole institute and for five seconds are destroyed, and a miracle, on the screen of the monitor appe


[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №39039
 18.11.2010
The internet has eaten your brain.
YYY: Not just mine. Also acquaintances, friends and relatives. The carpet is now swallowing. beauty

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №39038
 18.11.2010
Yesterday I had a nervous breakdown.
Quad: All day in vain tried to transfer money through qiwi. after each attempt on the mobile phone called a robot and asked for confirmation of the operation type "click one, if yes".
quad: spammed the unit to blue and nothing happened.
Quad: I call support, I have a system failure, disable the voice checking option through settings.
Quad: turned off... the robot immediately rings and grits "if you really want to turn off the check, press one"...

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №39037
 18.11.2010
I came to work today from the Security Department. Long inspected the workplace, and eventually wrote a note: the mouse has no carpet, all the radiation goes to the right hand, they wrote a fine. I live in the best country in the world!

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №39036
 18.11.2010
HH: What do you like?
A very general question, imho.
HHH: Okay well. Do you like cake for example?
I eat everything.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh And the flowers?
I said I eat it all.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №39035
 18.11.2010
Statistics: Men have sex 1.5 times more often than women.
All statistics are ruined by gay pedras

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №39034
 18.11.2010
The waitress in the cafeteria:
Which tea is black or green?
I: The Black
What bread is black or green?
I: O_o

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №39033
 18.11.2010
D.AI went to the cemetery and went to my grandmother’s grave.
D.AWhen you die, what would you want your body to do? cremated or buried.
I want to find him at least...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №39032
 18.11.2010
In Donetsk, people are afraid to go out because they are caught and sent to leadership positions in other regions of Ukraine.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №39031
 18.11.2010
The result of the match Russia 0-2 Belgium.
The funeral has played great!
For the whole game, one effective action - knocked down Arshavin in the center of the field.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №39030
 18.11.2010
I had a circus then :)
of 2?
One empty pair. The Holy Trinity decided to play papers (on the forehead of the clayaccio papers, on them - the names of the heroes of the cartoons. The task is to guess what you have on your forehead for your name, and you can answer your questions "yes" and "no"). It was Kenny...
2 and?
1 and a picture. after twenty minutes of the survey it turned out that he is a male, under 18, white-brushed, not from our cartoon and there is a bunch of songs about him and the name of K begins... everyone who approaches her, first roars, and then all sorts of hints - then washes, then the cap is stretched, then oreth! They killed Daesh!"
2 :D
1 then she asks "he was killed?" - *chorom* yes! But is he alive? - Chord, with the skies in all 32 * Yes! Has he been killed many times? * a chorus, with a badly hidden hysteria * - Yes!!! and Casper?! to
2 * the roof
1 Yes, that’s what it looked like! I couldn’t even talk, only whispered.) but she got us! He waited until we got a little bit overwhelmed and gave it out with such an offended face: “No, he has nine lives? Is it a cat?"
The next 10 minutes of my life I remember badly ;-)
1 Now we have our Kenny

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №39029
 18.11.2010
The moderator [Wife] KatastrofaDS[8] rejected your avatar. The Avatar must not contain any inscriptions, symbols, or animations.The Avatar must depict a living being and be square.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №39028
 18.11.2010
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Lie on the couch. to do them. The naked women began to roll in their heads. I thought no, enough for today. But down there, he didn’t seem like that! I tried not to think about the bodies. As a result, it only got worse. From hopelessness he began to roast like a fool. But the troll is not all that. I thought what to do. Presented in English...
WOW: Yes, and what?
XHH: What is it? first stopped lybitso, then the fox fell and bored. The third day did not get up. What to do?! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №39027
 18.11.2010
X: Yes, if he does it again, I’ll say to him, “Return 360 degrees and go down!”and "
U: Eee, I’m not strong in mathematics, but it seems 360 degrees is a circle)))))

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №39026
 18.11.2010
From ZJ Šestakov, to the Day of the Police:

Moscow City Commandantur
Dear people of Moscow!

1st Shaurmachen is ferbothen. of the Lord. Who is on the street is a castle, a concentration camp. Jade can be.

2nd Lush to forget. Fast and fast. I want to learn karaoke.

Three Today is a celebration for you, der Milicai Tag. OP OP, dance to all. Who does not want is a castle, a concentration camp.

[ + 69 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39025
 18.11.2010
I have a monthly delay. Does that mean I am pregnant?
When was the last time you had sex?
What are you, fool? I have not even kissed!
To get pregnant, you have to have sex first.
But I read that there is an impeccable conception
Do not open the Bible anymore. I’d rather buy you an encyclopedia for girls.

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №39024
 18.11.2010
VKontakte, a girl's wall, a graffiti in the form of a black and white heart, on which a small clay is marked with "half-blowing", so that the big picture was a big picture.
Among the paphos stones of type "chmafke =*" and "oh, how cool!" I saw this:
Goopie: I have a sick imagination, please don’t argue. But, please, is a black spot on the heart a progressive malignant cancer tumor or a scarring from replacing one of the heart valves with an artificial one?

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №39023
 18.11.2010
call from the call center of one of the capital internet providers (P):
Q: Do you use the Internet?
I: of course
Q: What type of provider do you have?
I am: "providers"
Q: What is your internet speed and how much do you pay for it?
I: Speed 2 megabytes per second, I pay 600p per month
I understand you, but not megabytes, but megabytes.
I: No, I have a speed of exactly 2 megabytes per second.
Q: No, Megabyte is not.
It is megabytes!! to
The Megabytes!! to
I: Listen, what are you trying to prove to me? I’d better know what my speed is.
Q: Yes... sorry, thank you for correcting me, so we can offer you the same speed of 2 megabytes per second, for just 250p a month.
Not a megabyte, but a megabyte.
It is a megabyte!!! to
I: Listen, I’ve been called several times from your company, I know you’re providing a slow interest, and your speed is measured in megabytes, and I’m in megabytes!! to
Q: (after 30 seconds of silence) What’s the difference?
The difference is 8 times.
Q: Okay, sorry for the worry.

The Curtain

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №39022
 18.11.2010
Roaring -Dushman+
17.11.10 to 16:35
LOL is! From the news: "In the unemployed Moscow woman, on the street took a million rubles...". From the comments: "...well though the Bentley did not steal 8)".

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