The beginning of zero. In a large bookstore, good uncle Eduard Uspensky holds an autograph session for children. He has a collection of fairy tales - thick, with a red cover - and now he is signing new books for boys and girls. Someone just puts a name, and somebody is painting a rod below.

At the far end of the hall are two obaltus - Stasik and Timocha. They arrived late, and they did not get the books - they had already bought everything. Timothy almost cried - he wanted an autograph so much! Especially with the rose. She comforted him:
Do not shrink, little boy. We will fix everything. Go buy the same red book.
Look to be fat. He still signs the breakdown - we immediately
At the turn, we will open and put him in his hand with a sun. He will not even notice anything.

Timothy sneezed and returned with the book two minutes later.
Have I bought?
I bought. It looks like.
Stasiq and Timothy stood in line and waited. They stood last, so when their turn came, Uspensky could speak:
What is one book for two? Lack of money? well no
I’m going to write you an autograph right now.

Timothy gave Uspensky a book opened at the turn, and he, after thinking for a second, began to write: "To my blue-eyed friends, I wish never to despair, to take an example from the heroes of this book and grow up into real men.
by Eduard Uspensky.

Then Uspensky shut up the turn, looked at the cover and... stumbled. His face extended. After five seconds of silence, he said with a grave voice:
I will not give it to you.

The book was “Mein Kampf”.

Even fierce opponents of the motherland spoke about the support of an unknown citizen, scratching the word "x" on limousines with flashes.

"All Altai yets urgently migrated to Kuzbass due to forest fires, scientists are concerned"
I am concerned that there are Yeti in Russia, and the scientists that they are migrating...

I go to work with a friend (P):
Q: Imagine that we will have children.
I: Let us first imagine that we will have husbands...
Q: Then let’s first imagine that we will have young people...

- And why spit on translators, if the wizard himself gives names to beings like the Liar of the corpse)) because it was much easier to come up with some name of his own.
What other name can the larvae of the corpse be? 😉
Fedor for example.

A friend bought an Android phone that was for the Arab market:

21:16:14: In my Arabic very funny auto program was for prayer!
21:16:24: She started when it was necessary, showing the direction to Mecca and singing a prayer loudly!

Luzhkov became the dean of the faculty, which he himself previously created.
As in an anecdote:
When the governor was asked why he ordered the prison chambers to be equipped with TVs, while refused to buy new parts for the school, he replied, "Well, I will spend the rest of my days at school."

I can’t do without music, I do everything five times faster than music.
It is – ALL!No more sex under AC/DC!! to

link: in Google I pick the word "name" and it issues frequent queries, one of them: "name of a skinny who spoke a lot in 1917"

I had a cultural shock today.

I work as a bartender in Korea. There was a regular client. A small defensive glasses. Such all the touching, eyes to the floor, speaks barely. I regretted him so much. He wanted to pay more than he had. I did not take. I thought he was drunk, and in the morning he would be sorry. And today I suddenly find out that he is the owner of that bordell that is on the corner, that his uncle is fabulously rich. And I went every day not because I fell in love, but because I wanted to get me to work. Type of Russian strawberries for especially grown-ups

I read in the newspaper on space dogs Ugolka and Veterka: "According to some data, Veterok before flight was generally known as Bdnook due to the respective powerful abilities of the body. The Soviet space dog did not wear such a name, and the nickname was sub-edited, although everyone knew that it was such a "window"... The dog in some way predetermined the fate of the Bulgarian cosmonaut Kakalov, who was allowed into space, but for every case was renamed Ivanov.

xxx: normal fucking... managers have lost the key from the window, can not get the client the mouse to look, run, shake. sent me already to break it with a stream... the customer so looked, said "give me".. and gets a universal key-off for the vitrines.. opened... we on him: "O_o"... he:"hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

My friend works in a translation agency.

Two Nigerians have arrived
One Name: One Name
The Serpent:
Tagged: volga transneft
Tagged with: o_o
Category: by passport

From a pseudo-news website:

Witnesses claim that such a cooling in Russia is observed for the first time in 1000 years

Will Tina Turner get married to Quentin Tarantino? She will be Tina Tarantino.

My girlfriend is pregnant, my stomach is big. Here she goes to the store and sees - such a student goes and rollton eats. And she’ll have him "You’ll be a rollton eating, a pulp like I’ll have", and slightly swallowed on the stomach.
The poor child drowned and the bag broke out.

<Volcara91> crazy, my girlfriend went to some pidaras named Daniel
<D-2012> Do you live in New Jersey?
<Volcara91> Yes, and what?
<D 2012> No, nothing Is her name Veronica?
<Spring91> Pineapple Pineapple

GremL1N: Today I will fight with the Turkish wire
GremL1N: button "cancellation" = "ipal" :)
kiper: "are you sure you want to format a C: disk?"
kiper:"neyeyeyeyeyeyeyee, I’m ipal!"
GremL1N :D

This story happened to me during the years of studying at the university with a military inclination (there were uniforms, barracks, military commanders). I got to live in one cubic with a guy named Sasha. Sasha was a radio amateur with an internship, constantly paying, crafting, collecting. His entire cell was wrapped with wires, details of mechanisms, etc. Even Sasha had the flag of the Republic of Mozambique, which depicts crossed socha and kalash on the backdrop of the book. We have appointed a new commander of the company (officer of the Navy). On the day of my duty in the company, he decided to arrange a cushion of cubicles. We go with him, looking for a citizen, other prohibitions. Now it is our turn to Sasha Kubrick. He goes in, his gaze falls on the flag hanging on the wall, his eyes become O_o (Kalash... the book... the events of September 11 not so long ago...) "Ep your foot! I explain that this is the flag of Mozambique, just an element of the decor. I felt suspicious, but I believed. After that, he opens a sashina tube from which the alarm drops out, a large piece of plaster (what he wanted to glue there), a wire, a boiler and a bunch of radio details. The eyes of the commander at last O_O, moving to the scream: "This is your mother, whose!!!? and Ivanova. Hurry up to me this hero’s underpinning!! I can’t, he’s fired. Find a neighbor to me!! This is the court!! - I'm his neighbor." He looks at me with his blinking eyes for 10 seconds, turns out and pulls something under his nose. He did not come to us any more! Sasha is called a terrorist.

1: The hot paiŕs programming. What could be better :)
Better only if the partner is a girl :)
There is a danger that then the work may go to the backdrop.
4: There is hope