bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №37278
 12.10.2010
I work in preaching. I make tests for students (sometimes I get into them). I want to talk to a blonde girl. I write to her:
I: what do you think about the subject "Foreign Economic Activities" this question scans
She is: What. Let it
From a mathematical textbook: There were 4 frogs sitting on the shore. Three frogs fell into the water. How many frogs have jumped into the water?
a) 1
b) 2
c) 3
d) 4
e) The Arbitration Agreement
She is: Blind
She: One
I: is it right? Think well
She is: Yes. one
I: think again
She is AAA! I understood! and two!
I could not write the test :D


[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №37277
 12.10.2010
The night was coral.
I have a boy who has been studying for 10 years: Sasha Cossacks.
Inattentive and constantly forgetting something.
And I dream that Sasha again can not distinguish objects 10 times
I scream to him: Sasha! Sasha! Sasha!
At the same time I wake up and realize that I am saying that I am no longer in a dream, loudly, while beating my husband in the chest
I open my eyes. I am being looked at by a spoiled husband.
I think, here’s the pepper!! to
And I can’t find anything but to say: I have a dream job again!!! I remember you are a leech!! to

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №37276
 12.10.2010
A terrible mystery has been revealed to me here - in every washing machine there is an unparalleled wear thief!
yyy: lol )))

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №37275
 12.10.2010
The boss praised me greatly:
"Lenny, and you are not as useless as I thought at first..."
I ate the cake from my table.
Think about what he...
Is it about the fact that I’m two days here for two... or that I always have cookies?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №37274
 12.10.2010
I drink tea with my brother. Mother next to me, behind the plate, is baking blades. The brother took the sludge in one hand, all dirty in the oil, and the other took a full, hot and smoking cup of tea and broke off. His mouth naturally burned so that the tears turned to his eyes. So he, a pure gentleman, barely swallowing a hellish hot drink, loudly breathing the air, said:
B (I thought it would be) without sugar!

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №37273
 12.10.2010
I went home from work and stopped smoking. A young mother sits next to the subway and a little girl (3-4 years old) plays next to her. At first I did not pay their attention. After a while, the girl runs to her mother with a dead cat and cries loudly:
“Mom, look, the cat is broken... Let’s give it to my dad so he can fix it!” He said he could do anything in bed.
I was unable to listen further...

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37272
 12.10.2010
I do not understand people who write lovers type "number is not determined", "Ivan Vasilyevich" or "water channel". I have absolutely everything recorded in my phone strictly by name and surname, including friends, colleagues, relatives: only over 300 contacts (yes, most of these numbers I have never called). Well, try, calculate which of them I slept with, and with whom at work I called.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №37271
 12.10.2010
On the forum topic "how to avenge the former". One of the posts:
I am a minor and came here then to put my teenage problems on your heads. The situation is that I am a fool, and my girlfriend passed through this before me, so that I threw it for the guy I did not see in the eyes. I am tormented by childhood abuse. She doesn’t let me sleep, she also eats shit. I cannot look for a cause in myself, because for this the mind is needed, and I am in contact with where to get it. Here I found the goat of release. Yes, only the brains are really few, because I cannot even take revenge on myself.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №37270
 12.10.2010
Maybe it’s time to get a dog.
What is it?
Do you remember my mouse recently?
and?
- I had nothing to do to feed her, and yesterday she even had a tail to whip almost done!)
You don’t need a dog, you need a grandmother.( by

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №37269
 12.10.2010
edd (15:19:42 11/10/2010)
If you had more brains to add...there would be no higher prices.

Perfect (15:20:04 11/10/2010)
Oh, why do I shake my head with all the nonsense?

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №37268
 12.10.2010
Fuck the seller!! to
I buy cigarettes. She smiles so sweetly and says, "You are a girl, let you have infertility," and stretches the package.
YAHOOU

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №37267
 12.10.2010
Q: Do you know that I have been working for the second month?? to
P: Tell me, I don’t know
D: Well, the decoration took me, a male fully collective, a business center in Sofia, to work carried on the cane and back, I work from 9-17, and already broken hearts.......))))))))) I am such a ugly girl.
Q: What is your job? "Supply of the company"? And what about "Defamation"?
D: Well I haven’t understood it yet!!!!! to
Someone, I sit in the counter, I go to the toilet, I go fishing, swallow, rub constantly.
Probably the manager! 😉 😉

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №37266
 12.10.2010
Hitler is
Automobile Club
Answer #243: Today at 13:43:48
How do I know how much the generator in my car costs?

Stalin
Automobile Club
Answer #244: Today at 13:45:27
You drop the right front wheel, on the support of the engraving!

Hitler is
Automobile Club
Answer #245: Today at 15:27:36
No to!!!! to
Edited today at 15:28:15
PS Tsuk cha at the forty-fifth did not rejoice?! to

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №37265
 12.10.2010
I go to the bank and pay the loan. You can add WebMania. Commission, says the cashier 0, and in the cheque - the commission fee 0. The money comes with the commission. O_0

It appears
The receipt you received from the bank is a bank document and only the bank’s commission for this transaction is indicated on it. It really is zero. But the bank does not work for free, like everyone else, and receives its reward from our company. From your payment a commission is withheld by our company. You can find our prices on our website."

> Learn to be honest )))

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №37264
 12.10.2010
y (16:49:44 11/10/2010)
Fuck, I am a loser!! I don’t even know what they want from me, but the compiler compiles(((((((((((())

MrN (16:51:52 11/10/2010)
Yes is. and calm. Breathe calmly and calmly. Think of the little pink elephants cheering on an endless green lawn.

y (16:53:51 11/10/2010)
They are all dead...

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №37263
 12.10.2010
The Sun (00:29:36 12/10/2010)
I found a site for erotic stories.

The Sun (00:29:39 12/10/2010)
How I found

The Sun (00:29:50 12/10/2010)
Tagged with "Erotic Stories"

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №37262
 12.10.2010
All religions try to answer two questions: Why do we live? Why so fucking?

[ + 134 - ] Comment quote №37261
 12.10.2010
It was told today at the service. He worked at Jake. Cleaning of sewage in the apartment.
The last floor toilet. Water is standing.
are inspected. There is no audit!
They squeeze the wire into the toilet and gradually deepen it with rotating movements.
It’s fucking, but it’s all gone.
pulled back. At the end of his socks!! to
Eptha, someone washed the socks in the toilet, here’s a jerk. But the water does not go away! swallow again. But there is a bell at the door.
At the threshold stands a raw man in a coat and asks, “You have my socks... “Stolen?”
!! by! to
The man in the neighboring apartment is washing under the shower. There is something in the tubes!
Suddenly the toilet cover rises, from there some shit appears in the room.
Oven, hair, etc. begins to rotate, clings to the dryer socks hanging on the towel and disappears back.
Five minutes ago I had tears.

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37260
 12.10.2010
If the voters were to vote on which of the deputies to sit, the voter attendance would be close to 100%.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №37259
 12.10.2010
You realize the futility of being, when working is lazy, resting is tired, and not getting to sleep.

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