bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №29058
 22.04.2010
A friend told me, further from his face: I was travelling in Moscow. Stopped the hiccups. He asks for rights. I can’t find them and remember that I left them in my jacket at home. I tell Haishnik that in two hours I will bring the right, because I forgot. But he damaged the car on the evacuator and took it to the nearest penalty parking lot. He issued a fine of 50 rubles and a parking penalty of 900 rubles. I understood that it was a conspiracy, a mafia, corruption of Haishnikovs with penalty parking lots and evacuators. For 4 days, the parking lot issued a fine of more than 4000 rubles. I was refused to submit a parking permit by the employee, probably there was no such. Once I have decided so, I am with you too. He paid a fine of 50 rubles. Drawed exactly the same payment on the computer for the amount of 4000 rubles.
I bring, give the employee a penalty parking, he says fine, I take the car. In a few days I get a call from the parking lot and they say I have to come. Then he called with the same proposal. I told them that they should bring me to court and there we will find out who is breaking the laws more: I, the haishnik or the parking lot without a license. They did not call me anymore.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №29057
 22.04.2010
Can I congratulate you? You probably got a red diploma.
Position of Tax Inspector.
I broke the interview. I cut off on the first question.
Which?
I was asked: Did I torment cats when I was a child? And I, the fool, answered:
“Of course not.”

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №29056
 22.04.2010
I went this morning with a blue garbage cage to throw the garbage into the container.On the way, three gave up the road, taking to the right to the border.

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29055
 22.04.2010
1 (16:08:12 21/04/2010)
What is "Vasaduli"?

2 (16:12:01 21/04/2010)
It is a verb of imperfect appearance, frazeologized. Denotes the process in which a certain campaign of people performs the action of introducing air into the male axis... Or three words, written together... Or two sticks, designed to sit in an uncomfortable position...

1 (16:08:12 21/04/2010)
LOL

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №29054
 22.04.2010
The theory of electronic chains.
The teacher explains how to solve the task, the group cannot understand, he is all nervous. He can’t stand and goes out into the corridor.
Something fell on the floor and cotton broke.
The voice from the back: "He shot!"

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29053
 22.04.2010
I realized that it was spring, when it smelled shale on the street.
Cat: And I understood it when I saw people’s asses painted in the colors of the shops on the street))

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №29052
 22.04.2010
Commentary on the news about an English fan who changed his surname to his favorite club:
XXX: Imagine that we will also change our names in honor of the clubs!
XXX: Let us accept Vasya Rubin.
Natasha Dynamo is!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №29051
 22.04.2010
by Miron:
Here I was always surprised by the old people's phrase "Sit down, there is no truth in your feet". Damn... well you can think in the ass all the truth accumulated:)))
Fiup^: be careful, don’t sneeze!

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №29050
 22.04.2010
I have an ex-smith here, and I do not answer her. She makes conclusions from my silence and asks new questions! :) I think she will agree with herself in the end. The important thing is not to argue.

[ + 122 - ] Comment quote №29049
 22.04.2010
It is not funny: Today, April 20, at the entrances to Cheboksaara, the mark 3.2 was placed from 8.4.4, i.e. All buses were banned from entering the city. Passengers were forced to transfer to special buses, which were approved by a special commission, which included employees of the prosecutor's office, the GIBDD, the transport inspectorate. These special buses will transport people to the nearest stop in the city for free for the first three days. The administration of Czechoslovakia has a special list of carriers who will be allowed to travel under this sign, thus violating the GDPR. It turns out, if you have your own GAZEL or any other bus and you want to come to us in Cheboksary, you just can't enter the city, because. You are not on the list. Buses that are on the "special" list today passed quietly under this sign, with employees of the GIBDD. The inhabitants of Cheboxar and Novocheboxarsk, namely, between the two cities there is a track, where they put a sign on the post of GIBDD, now do not know how to get to Cheboxar, because of the fact that they are not able to get to Cheboxar. The majority of Novocheboxars work in Cheboxars. Complaining is useless. all "resolved" with the administration, the prosecutor’s office, GIBDD, etc. and etc. This is how we have self-government in the city. Thank you all for attention!

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №29048
 22.04.2010
111: not only in Russia the fucked live))
222: the puppy of yours))))
111: soon to plant for the rape of rubber women, libel for a group with them too)))
222: if the rubber woman is under 18 years old...

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №29047
 22.04.2010
The weekend... leave at all!! First with Sanko in the bar they drank all the most expensive and bright)) then they met with the girls and went to the club, then to the sauna!! such chickens, ppt.. I ended up with one left to her and the rest of the night - a tough porvo))) Envy the miserable worm!!! to

Sanek really merged somewhere out of the sauna in the middle of the night...after the bodies. His girlfriend was really upset! :) Well, it’s bad!and leave)

Weekend... leave at all!! The neighbor wanted to throw out a working Spectrum with cassettes!!! I just didn’t allow... Do the names Dizzy, Robockop and Rainbow Islands say anything to you?))) Envy the ugly worm!! to

I called Sanko! 😉

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №29046
 22.04.2010
Dale Carnegie's New Book: How to Get Rid of Acquired Friends
from my previous book". Psychiatry in 2010.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №29045
 21.04.2010
embodiment of the Russian tricolor: white bracelet, blue light, red foam.

[ + 67 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29044
 21.04.2010
Dear citizens of the Russian Federation, you will tell me, your president in the raider is prescribed on the day of his arrival to block all roads and paint all facades on the route of his course? Medvedev arrived in Kharkov today. Previously, the roads were never blocked, whoever did not come, and there were a lot of high-ranking persons, not only our presidents, but also foreign presidents, Platini (UEFA president) so in general almost once a week arrives - only GAIcov becomes more. Today the city is paralyzed, close to each pillar by a squadron of orders, and the houses are painted, in my opinion, along with the windows. What is paranoia?

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №29043
 21.04.2010
Uncle playing in the transition to harmony, in response to the ten-ruble note stretched out to him
I cooked candy.

I love this world.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №29042
 21.04.2010
He: How are you there?
I am in the shower.
What does my notebook do in my shower?

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №29041
 21.04.2010
<< A joke about the director of our new store under construction - a girl with a half-and-a-half-meter legs, who for this is called the FACE of the branch, and is entrusted with organizational work. They pay well. Thanks to her, the object will open instead of April in July, here is an example of her activity. for the reg. Documents need a plan of the neighboring territory. From the sidewalk to the door leads a path that crosses the lawn and the lawn. Distance from the sidewalk to the door is 10 meters. We measure the part that crosses the lawn - 3 meters. She: And now we have to die the rest! I: Why then? And then to know the distance. I’m just seven meters away... She said, “I’m sure! In my head, there are assumptions drawn by the avalanche—from the inaccuracy of the plan to the inaccuracy of this part of space. We measure. Seven meters to fuck. She: How did you know?

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №29040
 21.04.2010
Why do we all love cats? I know the answer! Because these cute hairy Germans know how to snuggle! No is? Who else but a cat can sit in the middle of the corridor, where the whole family goes to work; or lie on a huge bed only on a white shirt lying on the edge; or who so impressively crushes the door to be opened, and then proudly passes through the hole, leaving a tail in it until the last moment before the door is closed by the owner; well, or long cries to give a bowl, and then turn and leave.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №29039
 21.04.2010
SMS's (10:03:14 21/04/2010)
Amy is gesture.

SMS's (10:03:42 21/04/2010)
Luckily, a man came in deaf and managed to explain with gestures that vodka was delicious and I was beautiful.

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