MissleMike
I know this Captain’s Evidence. He calls me periodically from different numbers and on the question "Who is this?" answers simply "This is me!"

Last night I slept at work.
Natasha: I dreamed of a dream in the morning, type screen and inscription-to get out of sleep mode type code
Nata: and capcha something with incomprehensible letters and numbers
Natasha: I picked up the car and everything was wrong, I was written there but you entered the wrong code, it is impossible to get into real life mode
It’s time to get connected to the internet.

I have a puppy, a puppy, a puppy.
I wake up for the last 4 days because of the fact that here he jumped on the couch and blows in all the throat. well, I think, he slept when, I also talk with guests, on the phone, all the things...but I here as if went to the kitchen and almost slipped on his urine in the hallway. with anger fuck him sleeping. so here when I once again slept, I woke up because of the fact that his cheeks on my cheek of the driver...I lie not moving for a second 3 bumping, what he will insist on me in the hallway and suddenly... how he fucking me behind the nose and running into another room.
Give him a catch to castrate :(

We sit with a girl at night and watch a movie. She periodically tries to kiss me. I naturally actively resist. What she, after thinking a little, gave out: "You need to load the eggs well, and chew until you come to yourself!"

The reason for morning standing is that in the morning, usually, the bladder is almost full. In order to avoid surprises in the form of a suspended bed, the spinal cord gives the command to contract the muscles in the area of the bladder.

Since the command from the spinal cord (unlike the brain) is not selective, most often the muscle that compresses the vein coming out of the cavernous body is additionally shortened, which causes an erection of the stalk.

Note, guys, that, after writing, the stands slowly decreases (well. this still depends, of course, on the level of sperm toxicosis or vice versa).

In general, with a good girl standing is never a problem!

Please let the people know.
The three biologists :)

After these words, I will not talk to you.
I: After what words?
You called me a bad word.
I watched the histories. It was bad only once. Four days ago! Then you came from the corporation and called me Eblan...
She is: Yes?
She: Oh yes, of course. and Sori. That is me. I do not remember =)

My mom was sitting a fairy tale to my younger sister was reading and I got in my head for excessive humor and creativity:
There lived a man and he had two daughters: a craftsman and...
I am a handicapped
and not (

I was killed by Tamagochi yesterday.
BBB: I have sympathy. I think we can restart it, right?
A: I can’t do mine. He drowned in tea.

What do you give for your birthday?
Showtime: the best gift is a gift made with your own lips ;)

I’m in the bus, there’s a girl next to me. Suddenly her phone rings. Playing the Imperial March from the "Star Wars")
The girl takes the phone and says:"Hello, Dad!"
Here is the modern princess Leia)))

Lithium is Hello. What do you do?
Junkie is greeted. The image is burning)
Lithium: The Antichrist

I am reading a women’s forum. Topic "How to wipe gum on clothes". One post pleased me:
I put it in the stove, it helped.
I could not read further :)

While the people of the United States once again choose between the democratic (people’s in Greek) and republican (people’s in Latin) parties.

The news tape:
Vladimir Putin announced the start of an anti-alcohol company in the Russian Federation

Immediately you can see that the party has man succeeded)))

She is: night, bed, sex, all things. I finished, fell on the next pillow, I start sleeping and through the dream I hear him: "and talk?and "

I looked at the chocolate tiger and still bit her head... horror! There was a pink plastic tiger inside: she was pregnant!!!(( is

bullshit
I will subdue the gods of death, and peace will pass from your hand into mine.
SlowDream
Fucking has always been your strong side.

Not the real man who can fall in love with different women, but the one in whom only one woman is always in love.

The scandal started not even because of the fact that a minute of calling from the home phone to our mobile phone is crazyly expensive, and that the wife called a friend and has been shaking with her for five hours about all kinds of stuff, and that, fucking, TRISTA MINUT (at my salary)!!! The scandal began not because it closed in the hall, but there we had a TV, books, a computer, and I had to learn by the mouth the magazine "Beekeeping" fifteen years ago, somehow rolled in the warehouse, as well as the composition of cheese cheeses, half-bottled sausages, tomato sauce and peelings from the refrigerator, well, and at the same time the dishwasher, Ariel washing powder and a bottle of air refresher. And the scandal began because of the fact that, when I already started to rhyme the rules of storage of frozen seafood with a jam, crawling on the edge of the twist of the jaw, through the door to the hall suddenly heard a voice of my wife: "M-a-a-sh, listen, and we are all on the phone and on the phone, right? Let me go down to you and we’ll talk again, okay?” What is O-O-O-O??? M-A-A-A-A-A-A???! to
The neighbor on the floor below-e-e-yeyeyee???? to

In today’s world order, I hate two things: when fools sing about love, and when politicians demonstratively attend a church.