bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19708
 27.08.2009
I need an up-to-date topic for my dissertation. So tell me, what have you been fighting for 25 years in Energy and can’t solve it?
I, my son, have been fighting for 25 years in the energy industry with a low salary, and everything else is resolved with the help of a rod and a rope.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №19707
 27.08.2009
XXX: Tell me, who knows the work of the courier? What underwater stones? thank you.
Yyy: If you bring bad news, the head will be cut off.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №19706
 27.08.2009
The subscriber is not responding or temporarily unavailable. Try not to call again.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №19705
 27.08.2009
Characteristics of male and female psychology. We come to a restaurant with a friend, and there right in front of our table on the shelf is a vase, unambiguously reminiscent of a cheerfully standing fallos.
I immediately said, “Look, we are not happy here.
And she: the opposite!

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №19704
 27.08.2009
I took a girlfriend from an ex-boyfriend who left me to her.

Did you think only the men in Chelyabinsk were harsh?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №19703
 27.08.2009
The young people who have reached the age of 27 this year are cursed by the order of the Minister of Defense.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19702
 27.08.2009
The wild beetle who attacked people in China was the victim of an 83-year-old grandmother, reports on Thursday the news service "Zhongo van".
An unequal fight occurred last Sunday in the suburbs of Chongqing metropolis. A wild cock weighing 107 kilograms stumbled from the bushes on the old lady Hu Chengjeng when she peacefully burned the garden.
Armed only with a knife, the elderly woman managed to cope with the wild beast within minutes.
Grandma Hu herself managed to cope with a slight scare and a few scratches.

Chuck Norris is only afraid of Chinese grandmothers.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №19701
 27.08.2009
My sister recently received her great love: a French student at the University of Berlin, whose mother is an African-American who writes Orthodox icons professionally.
This is what I understand, a diverse personality.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №19700
 27.08.2009
The secretary calls, the grit computer does not turn on the second with the secretaries. I come, I press the button, it loads, I leave, I scream "I’m not a blonde! I pressed!and "

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №19699
 27.08.2009
The average time spent watching pornographic films in the world is 7 minutes.

Somegreed

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №19698
 27.08.2009
The dumber the girl, the more intelligent thoughts of others she has on the page in contact.
Palladium

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №19697
 27.08.2009
He lived in a wonderful Friday morning mood.
No shit, I ruined it.
I told you today is Thursday.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №19696
 27.08.2009
They made a project for a factory in the city of Perm. The project lasted a long time, and when the deadlines began to be pushed, one of his colleagues resolutely uttered the historic phrase:
" The Lord We need to stop!"

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №19695
 27.08.2009
Rem_: runs around the apartment small, does not yet know how to speak but already publishes "goggoggogl". Is it the future code or literature?
___

Take the ring! Take the ring before it’s too late!! to

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19694
 27.08.2009
Okay, one of Yulkin’s shoes, you have the same size.
Yyy: No, I’ve decided not to take her stuff for a while.
Q: What was the last?
YYY: Her husband

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19693
 27.08.2009
xxx: he is drunk until he loses consciousness...how can I turn on his consciousness? Should there be ways?
Yyy: pour 200 vodka to turn off completely
xxx is a good way (rofl)
XXX: How to pull the electricity?
YYY: and then drop his pants, loose his belt, spit his ass with mayonnaise
When he wakes up, tell him. Stop drinking forever.
Why Mayonnaise?
XXX: AAAA

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №19692
 27.08.2009
P: I can suggest three topics to talk about.
D (wife) to wave
Q: What are quarks made up of?
Q: Is it possible to teleport a person with the preservation of his identity?
Q: Is it possible to bypass the limitations of relativism?
Q: I don’t care about these topics.
Better about the breasts.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №19691
 27.08.2009
A month ago I split up with a girl. Today scratching the growing beard, suddenly, I realized that I don’t want sex at all, I don’t even think about it. Then I remembered that every day I drank tea with chocolate and in the toilet I had a magazine "Popular Mechanics".
God, am I really becoming a Wassermann?! to

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №19690
 27.08.2009
The question
Is it possible to scratch the glass on the clock? if so what? Is it difficult to do it?
Dmitry, 17.03.2006 12:10:59

Answered
If we are talking about sapphire glass, it is difficult to scratch it, but it is still possible. You should only arm yourself with the right tool: we recommend scratching sapphire glass with diamonds.

A reliable way to apply a lot of scratches to sapphire glass is to put the clock in a bag of diamond jewelry and shake it well, better for a few days. You can also use jewelry from other materials with sufficient hardness indicators - the same sapphire.

Another good way is to take other sapphire glass watches and rub their glasses around each other. So you can scratch for two hours at the same time!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №19689
 27.08.2009
milechka: fucking, I changed my favorite maxfactor body... bought a fucking lumen.
milechka: and how could I listen to the seller who advised me a mushroom with the taste of blueberries?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna