bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №19468
 21.08.2009
Once we went to the cinema for the movie "Soldiers of Failure" - a comedy with Ben
by Stiller. We took our seats in the cinema, we sat and watched. As usual, the advertisement ended and the movie started. The movie is going, we are watching and we begin to understand that something is wrong here - some guys on the screen are robbing a bank, killing people - it is not funny to drop, but set up for a comedy. At the 15th minute of the movie, we realize that it’s Batman coming!! to
Check the tickets, maybe the room was confused? No, it is right. Around the people start to do the same and slowly the whole hall understands the situation:
“The movie was not that.” Everyone started whispering and throwing their feet like in the good old days: "Stop this hnu!“Hey the boss!“Get my money back!” The people missed open self-expression and broke away completely. I have to say that in modern cinemas not as before the operator is sitting behind the wall, but everywhere the automation, therefore the indignation of the hall no one hears and Batman continues.
The vacancy was interrupted by a guy who sat behind us and first guessed to come down and tell the staff of the cinema that the movie was not the one. The screen is gone – it probably takes time to replace the film.
At this moment, the following happens: a pair of popcorn and beer comes into the hall from the side of the screen without rushing, without rushing because she is late in the slum (for 30 minutes) and no longer rushes anywhere. They see that the screen is empty and are stunned by it. There is a scream of a man in the whole hall: “Finally! by Fuck! Not without you.
We have started!!” And immediately the film is turned on under a stinking rod of a hundred people. A couple of faces passed to their places.
I don’t think they’re ever late for movies 😉 😉

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №19467
 21.08.2009
I think you have to go to the end!
For a long time I hadn’t been sent so beautifully...

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №19466
 21.08.2009
Moody ‎(15.02.2008 15:51):
What are your favorite poses?

Vredinka ‎(15.02.2008 15:52):
I am in a chair, completely relaxed, my eyes are half-covered, my breath is smooth, my right hand is stretched a little forward... and my mouse "claw-claw-claw"...

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №19465
 21.08.2009
XXX: The Dead Birds
No, the telescopes
XXX: The Bodyguard
xxx: not
What is the name of the creator of C++?
YYY: The Struggle?
XXX: Yes it is.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №19464
 21.08.2009
XXX: I don’t care about Natasha!! to
Yyy: It is possible for Natasha to clay if all the boys, wilds, animals and objects have disappeared on the earth.
YYY: And the hands broke...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №19463
 21.08.2009
Well, comrades students, we walk through the last free days and "in this semester we will definitely learn to learn, so that there is no ass at the session, as always"?)))))

YES: Yes, end of August! so I was slightly upset when the calendar opened

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19462
 21.08.2009
And you too, like any other normal Russian family, the letters on the mixer indicate Holodnaya and Coryachaya?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №19461
 21.08.2009
Mytilus G.: Press the button "Hui" - "Control Panel" - "Administration" - "Services".
Why is the button fucking? In other words, it is called a launch.
Mytilus G.: I don’t know what your name is, but I have "huy".
The Aztec hacker! XD is

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №19460
 20.08.2009
I thought, if the men are measured with pipes, in the bath, then it is probably p@d@rases t.k. Ordinary men do not get up in the bathroom.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №19459
 20.08.2009
Comments to a photo from a dating site:
15.08.09 17:34
girl, don't think I'm a perverse, but I would charge you between the breasts! )))

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №19458
 20.08.2009
I work as an office manager, among other things, I have to answer calls.
In the morning, I hear a phrase from my friend:
“Love, what are you, the moon?
What did you take?
You woke up at three and a half at night, dressed in shoes!She approached the computer desk, took a cell phone, put it to her ear and said, “Hello, I’m listening to you, you’re trying to call, you’re putting your phone in place, you’re going back, you’re taking off your shoes and going to bed!” 0 0 0
Maybe I just dreamed of a job...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №19457
 20.08.2009
I read the English-language ICQ forum, discuss the problem of connectivity, and I encounter the post:
"And I have the same problem the last 5 days. I don’t know English, so I write in Russian."
After several English posts, another Russian writes a solution to the problem.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №19456
 20.08.2009
This morning I woke up at 5 a.m. and decided to go out to the balcony to smoke. A day ago, my brother picked up a fireplace in the form of a F1 hand grenade. I go out on the balcony, smoke and, throwing the lighthouse in my hand, look at the new car in the yard with an open head. At this time, a 40 year old aunt goes out to smoke on the balcony. He looks at me, nervously throws:"Hello, Ilya!" and quickly falls back onto the flat. I first don’t catch up and start to look at myself, what’s wrong with me... And then I realize that I’m wearing camouflage pants, a sleeve with a raised fist, wrapped with a clutch wire, an army cap... hair curling like Che Guevara, a week’s squeeze on my moustache, and I look apathetically at an expensive foreigner with a cigarette in her teeth, throwing a grenade...

Here I sit and wait for my FSB curator to come.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19455
 20.08.2009
Status of VKontakte:
Dmitry Podrezov will soon build his bordell. Poetry and Chess.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №19454
 20.08.2009
When a girl says she’s soft and hairy, it’s worth thinking... and suddenly she’s really fat and unshaken.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19453
 20.08.2009
Google News: "Pensioner on "Jigul" broke into the Kremlin".
I only think that this is the grandfather on the green six, and that he will get to everyone.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №19452
 20.08.2009
xxx: In short, I went into that hole - very narrow there, barely passed. He helped there and broke everything as a result.
YYY: O_o
Oh Oh Oh Dad! It is not you.
WOW: What are you doing there?! to
The paper in the printer is stuck. I was told how to get her, I started pulling her, and she broke. A good word, Dad! I am at work.
WOW : Okay! I believe. :D

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №19451
 20.08.2009
Introduction to work:
"We have three big asses right now. In the opposite direction"

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №19450
 20.08.2009
Glum (12:16:10 19/08/2009)
Shhas lawyer told how one guy two boys on a toned 14 command =)

Mithya (12:16:43 19/08/2009)
? to toys

Glum (12:17:27 19/08/2009)
he went through the pedestrian and they almost stunned him with a scream where much hairy, on which the guy jumped his body from scale to the hole, while well bended him and the car cracked the headlights, he immediately picked Gibb.

Glum (12:17:48 19/08/2009)
The haishnikovs arrived and, according to the full program, removed these puppies.

Glum (12:18:27 19/08/2009)
Here is this

Mithya (12:23:41 19/08/2009)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №19449
 20.08.2009
MOORka: in the headline on the site is written the name of the party: "Egyptian Russia". Unfortunately, there was a problem on the subject...

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