bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №16883
 30.05.2009
The story happened to a friend of mine who had never suffered from lunatism, except for one case.
One day he fell ill and stayed at home. His sister listened to music on the compass, he went to sleep himself. About half an hour later, the sister heard the steps, turned around - Sanya goes past the doorway. She jumped up, looked into the hallway - Sanya is already opening the entrance door. She rushed quickly to him and grabbed him for the shelf. He turned around and looked at her with a glass look. There is dialogue:
Where are you?
to include.
Where is?! to
to turn off.
(The second break)
Where where?? to
Turn off...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №16882
 30.05.2009
xxx are stupid!! Tarantino hasn’t been there for three years. Greenpeace is worried about this. What is wrong with this world.

Yyy: And I think these living creatures, just on a spacecraft, have moved to another habitable planet and are waiting for us.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16881
 30.05.2009
People who know how to read when both hands are in the gips.
__________________________________________________________________________

How did you write it?? to

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №16880
 30.05.2009
The people! I urge you to reflect.
I’m tired of reading posts like this: the Russian Greeks didn’t like to be taken into slavery. Because they managed to brew there wine, to eat like pigs, and the beetles, who glorify drinking and drinking, and as if it was inherent in our ancestors. Read the history! There you will not even find mention of drunkenness, drunkenness (I am talking about systematic and interfering drinking). You will build nothing on it! And this is not a matter of praise for the people and for the individual! Think for yourself.

P.S Also tired of quotes about sex, paleness, dumbness. This is not what a man needs.
Missed is nothing. Only "for the power is offensive".

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №16879
 30.05.2009
When two hands are occupied and you open the door with your foot, the thought of being a niibazzo acrobat involuntarily rolls through.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №16878
 30.05.2009
death.keeper.angel (16:03:03 26/05/2009)
Women at work are stupid.

Kira (16:03:12 26/05/2009)
In the sense?

death.keeper.angel (16:03:29 26/05/2009)
This girl has long been showing me that she likes me.

death.keeper.angel (16:03:36 26/05/2009)
I fucking fed it!

Kira (16:03:44 26/05/2009)
:D

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №16877
 30.05.2009
Earth has become an obstacle on the path of a new intergalactic route and will be destroyed... Therefore, smart cockroaches have flown to their planet.

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16876
 30.05.2009
Guys, don’t abandon the girls who love you with all their heart. Then you will bite the elbows and fuck the crocodile.

The goldfish.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №16875
 30.05.2009
From the screen copy of the film:

I watched...
The right half of the screen is impressive. between the left side of the screen.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №16874
 30.05.2009
XXX: I repeat to you the 10th time - there are no settings! The developers did not expect that someone would play this shit.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №16873
 30.05.2009
Yes, I graduated from art school and got a genius knowledge that in the tubus goes two by 0.5 and three by 0.7 =((

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №16872
 30.05.2009
I presented the picture: Bevis and Bathed are all in white bracelets - you guys, now they will give us!
c) The Drone

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №16871
 30.05.2009
"...white bracelets will wear those who are looking for a second half, that is, want to get acquainted"

People, there is a serious proposal: add another color, and introduce color differentiation by color characteristic (do not rust, I seriously!) Let’s say white – for those looking for normal, long-term relationships, and for example green – for those looking for flirting, sex, “relationships without commitment” and other “adventures.” Let’s be honest, at least in that.

Whoever is interested, support it.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №16870
 30.05.2009
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Do you know where we sell the bullets?

yyy (22:21:37 27/05/2009)
And the Nafiga?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Contact me, get to know, read

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Interests: I love the sea... the sun... the beaches... the bronzage... the solarium... the chocolate, the champagne, the flowers... the club, the CoCa-CoLy... the soft games... the plushed bears... me to you! ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

yyy (22:22:14 27/05/2009)
Please record the address...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16869
 30.05.2009
The incident occurred during the honeymoon. The Commission.
He sits in front of the surgeon’s office. A guy enters there, and the door closes tightly, as a result, everything is heard perfectly. All the shit clouds of the people wrapped their ears.
The surgeon dressed up.
Couple - "silence" is only the sound of the clothes that are removed.
The surgeon comes!
"Pareenok approaches her"
Surgeon - show primary sexual signs
"Again a hustle, apparently showed"
Then the silence...
Surgeon" with a slightly quiet, surprised voice" - and what do you have?
In the corridor already compressed laughs, someone turned red, but for the time being restrained not to rust.
Surgeon" has been interested" - how long has it been with you?
The hallway is quiet of laughter.
Surgeon" already with obvious enthusiasm" - and you do not bother?
Surgeon" with admiration" look!
Someone has already started laughing.
But then we were all killed when we heard the last part of the surgeon’s monologue.
Surgeon"with an obvious interest in the voice"- and let’s go with you THIS! to remove? A!! I'll write you a direction, well, it probably interferes, and in the army nothing to do!
The guy responded compressively – let’s go, with a voice full of grief.
When he came out, the corridor was already rolling on the floor from rust, some were crying, some were roaring in their voices.
And he is despicable – you are idiots! My shoulder is big!I am so proud :DDD

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №16868
 30.05.2009
xxx: today to relocate went, polka also came, she had the last relocation remained. Prepod took the check, put everything, even did not ask. Every serious company makes discounts to regular customers!

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №16867
 30.05.2009
And said the director of the "AutoVAZ": By the command of a man, according to my will, go, Wadra, somehow yourself.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №16866
 30.05.2009
The frequency is 7Hz.
Frequency of cranial resonance
The chicken box. It was defined
Experience in Australia, where
The new factory produced sounds precisely with
of this frequency. She was too close.
from the chicken farm when the factory began
All the chickens died.
___________________________________________________

Announced!! to

Urgently, for a lot of money, I will buy 2 magnets capable of producing sounds at 7Hz, to the accounting office.

by Odin.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №16865
 30.05.2009
For many women, all men are goats except their loved ones. Although, in large
They are the same dogs, but only favorite ones.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №16864
 30.05.2009
The case was long ago. Driver of a washing machine in the asphalt
a road construction company, and the order was simple.
You do not have a job in the main position, you take the spat and help the rest.
But with the blade, it was even half the trouble, it was worse when it was put to regulate.
The movement.
On that day, a major repair of the road was done. The road not
wide, the lane there, the lane back, so while repaired one
side (kilometers 4-5 at once) to the second was organized reversible
The movement. For this, two men with races were separated from the composition of the brigade.
In turn, each of them, for 15 minutes, blocked the movement.
In the morning, I was put to roll. I stopped the movement, three
The cars patiently stood in the row, and, I have to say, while “my” cars
They will reach the end of the reverse lane until the opposite stream reaches me.
It takes 3 to 4 minutes, and at this moment Audi appears, licking around.
the line and leaned on me (I stood in the middle of the lane, the rest of the road
I was blocked by our equipment) drove the machete with my hand, tell me to pass.
I, in turn, say very politely: Stand up in line,
I have to wait 10 minutes. He asked me, “Who are you? Road Workers
I answered...
And here, without further conversations, he rests with a bumper in his legs and
He starts pushing me. I would jump to him on the hood or
falling on the road (deliberate crash when performing official duties)
with so many witnesses – good money could be
Cut off for closing the case), but instead I have adrenaline in my blood, “But
Five years later, “I’m still in a fever.
I wonder what to do next, but I don’t leave the road.
And then, he suddenly stops, turns on the rear and quickly leaves.
at the end of the row, which has grown greatly during this time.
I turn around and see: my colleagues, who previously sat peacefully on the
the asphalt layer in anticipation of the first asphalt wagon jump to the ground and
slowly, very slowly, as in American films about
Zombies are coming to my side. It should be noted that one day before
I did not drink on my birthday, but I did not drink.
Other responsibilities included the delivery of the brigade to the facility and back.
Started in the evening, continued in the bus.
And I think we did not stop there. In the morning, they looked very
and colorful. The likeness to the zombies was almost 100%. Unspoiled clouds
faces, eyes from the forehead, lowered hands, one with a scratch
Route of the Lope.
The spectacle was so funny that even the drivers in the row cheered.
My anger flew somewhere, and on their offer “Opt...t oh...go”
P...s” I said, “Well he’s on...”

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