bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №13124
 19.12.2008
I received a request from a client to repair his computer.
In the caps of a paper form three fields are located in a row: "Name", "Name", "Father".
I take the request, I see:
Name: Evstratov Dmitry Timofeevich
His name is Dmitry Timofeevich.
by Timofeevich.

I am afraid to go to him.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13123
 19.12.2008
US government finally found mass weapons in Iraq
and defeat. The prototype of this weapon under the code name Kuzkin’s Mother was first shown by Khrushchev at the United Nations General Assembly in 1960, and in 2008 the Iraqis demonstrated its combat potential to President Bush personally.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №13122
 19.12.2008
Just then, my friend Vitalik and I went to the club, bite, and a friend grabbed a familiar defeat. Go to me. I go to bed in another room. At 6 a.m., a friend of mine wakes up, he is typically at work, etc. I close the door behind him on the autopilot and go to bed. I wake up from the fact that somebody is pulling me for the genitals. I know that I slept next to that deck. But once this is the case... In general, everything is wonderful, first a barrel, then a barrel, then let the devaha jump from the top... Then the amazing thing happens... she opens her eyes... tension... becomes like a gorlum... and says the only phrase: “Where is Vitalik?”". I didn’t get up for a week.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №13121
 19.12.2008
In the news tape...
"The Finns realized with horror that they fought for Hitler"
They quickly focused!
C_K

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №13120
 19.12.2008
Childhood is the only country that is not afraid of a financial crisis.

No storms, no thunderstorms, no other troubles... if there is a mother nearby. c) Sj

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №13119
 19.12.2008
http://firstonx.livejournal.com/20507.html



The same bobber in miniature, this is what it is a water rat, and the usage of the

Likewise, the color, the tail, indeed, the rat, but who of us is without shortcomings?

I was written on one pond, I was sitting there at night, every weekend.

Early in the morning, one caught - no noise and dust; began to notice a rat.

He went back here for business. Similarly noted

me and the watershed, looking - a man quiet, sat nearby and

began to study carefully. Word for word, we met. Throw a piece.

Bread and then it turned out that it was a rat: the first thing carefully

Then he brought home his wife and children, and then he began to eat.

holding a lump in the front legs, chewing thoughtfully, looking at me.

He called - Shurik, painfully funny and businessfully he swept through the entire reservoir;

Fishing was fun for both of us.

Excellent was a family man - always the first bite included in the nest under the bush;

Once brought my husband - show me, acquaintance she, apparently,

approved, but no more in the male company showed, it is understandable,

The house is full of concerns.

Sometimes bringing friends to praise the companion, you will shout: "Shurik! There is

Walk!", and carry a brown torpedo of rats from any corner of the pond.



There are no wild animals in nature, there are only attentive animals.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №13118
 19.12.2008
When Somali pirates demanded a ransom for the Ukrainian ship,

Gazprom laughed to tears.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №13117
 19.12.2008
K to:
If I pass the session... then from the next semester I will start studying, I will drink, I will engage in boxing and I will remove volves... And I will win the 2012 Boxing Olympics.

Another guy with a good imagination :D

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №13116
 19.12.2008
YYY: How is it?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №13115
 19.12.2008
work in the park. Everyone had to spend the night in the office. Our administrator snorted, snorted, and then in a dream issued the phrase: "The Terminator in the green cockroaches steals cakes."

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №13114
 19.12.2008
Totally dumb? Administration, have you been upset? On the main: "like Saddam, by shooting"! He was hanged, the idiots.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13113
 18.12.2008
We accept an audit check, prepare a table for this case. The last settings are given: "Comrades, in short, the arrangement is this: look at the caviar contemptuously, and do not lick when you see the samga and the forel. Let the Germans think we are okay!"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13112
 18.12.2008
I will buy explosives, armoured vest.I will buy a pass to the Verkhovna Rada, the Cabinet of Ministers, the Secretariat of the President.
P.S Buy a student

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №13111
 18.12.2008
She: So fun with you, Stas!)) I never know what you will say next.
I: Sublimation in Guadeloupe!! to
It is ? ?

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №13110
 18.12.2008
Go to the store. Buy something for tea. Lolik, my colleague, asked: "a couple of packages of sweets "Moskvachka" and these, like his...." and hanging. I say, “What, Leha, the sample is up, the key in the hash table is lost, you can’t find the match. The name and image?" And here the saleswoman says: "And let us then pick over...". We are both in stall. I: "A, AB, AB..." Lohha, looking at me: "MA...rmelad!"

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №13109
 18.12.2008
>>That is why Victor Andreevich is MAN. He doesn’t talk with a dumb smile about his submarine "she drowned". And when the time comes to leave, he will leave, not plant the bear marionette. Because we, unlike you, do not applaud puppet shows. Not children, tea.<<

A baby and a doll can’t applaud their own show. Continue to sow the shit between the Slavs and tick the finger as we are so different. You are perfectly suited to the role of the girl from the latest movie Carrier 3 - "We are not such!!! We are others!!and "
Continue to behave and shake off the scratch at the western gates, continue to scream that the Russians are so crazy and the president has their shit - you, as the most patriotic, will be handed over to the M16 and sent to the East, to kill these most hated Russians. And you will lie crushed by tanks, like the smartest, and the Pindos soldiers will march on you, and they will thank you very much for being such a fool.

Sorry it hurt. They deceived minors with patriotic rats brains.

The cat, the shredder, the admin, the huiase - only to pass and not get stuck in the flute.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №13108
 18.12.2008
Xxx: Played fuck with a girl in the stalker!! to
YYY :?
Do you know what we call the months now?
I guess XD
XXX is exploding!! to

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №13107
 18.12.2008
My cat is too persistent. If he goes to the toilet, then buried until they are removed or until the shoe comes in. In the middle of the night, his stubborn scratches with his nails on the floor generally bring everyone in the house.
The night. Everyone is sleeping. Here, in the hallway, the cat begins to bury a cup, hoping, apparently, that he will still succeed sooner or later. I am lazy to get up and I scream to my daughter:
Look what the cat is digging!
In response an angry voice:
He is digging his own grave!

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №13106
 18.12.2008
I will never forget how I met my wife. I went through the doctor’s office and went to the doctor’s office. A cute girl sends me to the corner and the following dialogue occurs:
It is: 54
I am: 54
It is: 72
I am: 72
It is: 92
I am: 92
She calls...

[ + 61 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №13105
 18.12.2008
...Ship
Vehicles will move organized column to the place of the event at 14-00 from the car market.

Do not remain indifferent, come and ask your question to the authority! Support yourself and us!
– – – – –
Let us build you! Drivers are crazy! This is when you learn to elementally skip pedestrians, fucking, even if moms with wheelchairs, who can not cross the road for 20 minutes, because every bit behind the wheel looks and thinks "a, foolish, still stands - I will pass". And you will not park on the sidewalks at least so that you can walk with the same wheelchair, then get out. At the moment, 90% of you are pirates, who are not deprived of cars and rights, they must be killed in order not to reproduce.
On the roads, you, the frogs, only think of yourself and joke about others. And when the tail comes to you - immediately cry, run, ask for help. Fuck you in the ass!

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