bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №141663
 25.05.2017
One day, when he was very young (aged 6-7) he sat in a room and ate candy after the New Year. When the last one was left (as I remember now) Batya entered the room. When he saw the candy, he said "Do you want to show me the focus with the candy?". I naturally agreed and gave it to him in anticipation of seeing magic, and Batya calmly ate it before my eyes and said that by the evening the candy would turn into a "bubble". I don’t believe in magic since then.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №141662
 25.05.2017
A video of a greedy eating dog chewing on his back leg.
A poor dog, a limited range of possibilities, food from a pot, a small diameter of freedom and a cardboard cottage... only entertain yourself.
A: You described my life right now.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141661
 25.05.2017
Master of intrigue, tell me, how did you open these three times?

>>>>>>

For a long time for convicted people living with children or the elderly, sold full of constipation, which can be opened from the outside. Per the simplest and most common design - the fixer, locking the door from the inside, on the outside looks like a head of a large screw (and it can be opened by checking it, for example, a five-ruble coin or a dull side of a kitchen knife).

Ask the vendors in the store, they will show and tell.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141660
 25.05.2017
Our teaching of general biology is a big troll. First class, a lot of peers, a lot of guests from near abroad. There is a question in the audience:
Students who answer correctly will be counted with the machine. Who created life?
by Allah! The Tajiks shouted.
The Lord God! A couple of baptists. The biologist tactically silenced.
The good guys! The good guys! Rejoiced the predecessor. They all answered correctly: no one created life on earth!

Baptists, by the way, abandoned the machine, surrendered themselves. The gift of fate was accepted without embarrassment.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141659
 25.05.2017
Grandmothers are such grandmothers... I come to her, she complains about the neighbors-fools who are at 5 a.m. on Saturday (!!!) struck at the door. The question they wanted? Grandma answers with honest eyes: Imagine, I open the door, and they - you are there in the kitchen, get a snack, we have a bedroom behind the wall!!! I asked my grandmother, what did you do? She’d knocked off the hammer! Saturday is shit! At 5 in the morning! Further survey showed that "and no more time, because at 7 a.m. to go to the market and then a bunch of urgent affairs!" a multi-hour conversation on the subject of compliance with living standards led to nothing, because "I am so comfortable". Now I understand the cause of my troubles – because our whole family is cursed by the journey... guys, I honestly can’t do anything! Please understand and forgive the younger generation.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141658
 25.05.2017
Disputes about damage:

Their sight is worsening when they are just cooked.
Tag: glasses

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141657
 25.05.2017
I remember going to the Titanic in the distant 97s. When Rose just climbed the floating door, the electricity was out (there would be no cinema, yes). No one returned the tickets to us, and the ticket maker just told us the end.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141656
 25.05.2017
XX: The classics are relevant at all times.
xxx: "I love the storm in early May...
XXX:...how it’s dumb and there’s no wai-faia!"
Xxx : (

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141655
 25.05.2017
Ohhhhhh Fuck, I am a stupid fool!
Oh well. The TD?
and zzz. TD and TP
Oh well. : / /

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141654
 25.05.2017
Sitting with colleagues at work, and as someone asked "interestingly, who has the first memory in life?"
My brother was born and I got a bicycle.
My brother shot me in the leg from a toy gun.
My brother broke my hand.
Come home and shake your brother’s hand.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141653
 25.05.2017
to this
XX: No one will call them haishniks anymore.
YYY: How do you tell me...
There was a City Society of Conspiracy in Moscow. by GOP. A century and a half. There is no society, the hoops remain.
Moscow Criminal Investigation in Moscow. The Muss. A century and a half. There is no rubbish, there is rubbish.
There was a state inspection in Moscow.

The State Housing of the Proletariat (PLO), which was transformed from the State Society of the Horror (there were brought childless children who "industrialized" with hooliganism and theft). The same building was located on Ligovka (Ligovsky Prospect in SPB). The area was famous for its banditism and moral destruction of the contingent. Not to disinformation #Basheducational

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №141652
 25.05.2017
My husband was washing in the bathroom on the second floor (private house). He was locked up in the castle, and he was enchanted. I couldn’t open it from the outside or from the inside. He had to go out the window (there is no difficulty, on the roof of the veranda).

That same evening, the neighbor told his husband in a conspiracy tone that he had seen a coward escaping from our window.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141651
 25.05.2017
Clan99: Every website has its own price. I understand that Flibusta is not sold, but still, purely for the sake of interest: how much can objectively cost Flibusta? How do you hurt?

Sergey York: up to 15 years in prison

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141650
 25.05.2017
Building a high school in the temple. I walk around the territory, with me a girl of five years of age, somewhere behind her mom goes.
The girl asked me, “Who are you?
I am an electrician.
Girl: I am a man!
The electricists are no longer people, sadness...
Mother shouts to the girl: Don’t stick to people!
Fuchs are people.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141649
 25.05.2017
xxx: In hell there will be a personal boiler for those who insert comments of the kind: "Yes, here I do work for 5 minutes. Go to the factory, he will drink you a bottle."

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141648
 25.05.2017
Unmatched socks and unmatched socks.
Here at one of my acquaintances in the depths of the closet is stored a healthy such a box with unparalleled shoes. Orphans are lying, waiting, suddenly finding a couple

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141647
 25.05.2017
I am kind to him, with the epithet, as you taught him.
WOW: this is exactly, with the epithet, and not the most successful.
I should have been with Pieter.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141646
 25.05.2017
I come home, I go to the bathroom and here my wife is like out of the kitchen: - Don't touch the barrel! I almost jumped. I say, there is a lady. Allow me to join?
It turned out that the little one had already closed up in the bathroom three times today. He liked it. It cannot be opened, the silence is lacking.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141645
 25.05.2017
Never pursue happiness, go to meet happiness.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141644
 25.05.2017
"Would nail make of these people, there would not be in the world stronger than nails." Silence is #2.

I have already written about the brave Sheriff Elfego Bak. Unfortunately he died more than 70 years ago, but there are still men in this world with steel eggs and no fear in the eyes who are ready to protect and even do the LAW, even if they do not require it. Meet Bishna Schresta, the hero of our time.

There are several ethnic groups in remote Nepal (magar, gurung, and others). They are called by one name, Gurkish. At first glance, they are small, dull, vanilla little people. So small that even in the army introduced a parameter for them, only those who weigh more than 50 kg and more than 1m57cm of height can serve. But don't be mistaken, they are one of the best soldiers in the world.

For 200 years, the Gurks have been the elite troops of the British Empire. Serving in the army for them is a matter of honor and so far every year about 30,000 gurks claim to vacant 200 seats in the British troops. They also serve in their native Nepal, India, and several other countries. They don’t know the words of things like retreating, giving up, and not fulfilling orders. From their battle cry "Hai Mahakali, Ajo Gorhali" (Glory to the Great Kali, Going Gurki) the enemies tremble. During the Second World War, even the fearless Japanese preferred to surrender to the mercy of the victor than to come together in a handballing battle with the gurks. Field Marshal Sam Bahadur once said, “Show me one who is not afraid of death, and I will show you a liar... or a gourd.” There are legends about their courage, but what happened is a lie.

On September 2, 2010, the retired capral, Gurk Bishnu Shrest, got on the train at Ranchi station. The train travelled peacefully through the jungle of Chitaranjan in West Bengal and Bishnu slept peacefully. At about 12 a.m., the train crashed and stopped. The passengers of the demand could not even understand what was happening, but unfortunately it did not last long. A few minutes later, the wagon was seized by robbers armed with pistols, knives, and even swords and began to rob passengers. The robbers were not many, as many as 40 people.

They took money, jewelry, things, and mobile phones. The resigned captain also handed his wallet away. He was absolutely calm and there was no fear in his eyes, for he was Bishnu Shrest’s gurgle and this minor incident was not worth fighting. But the bandits seemed to have little prey. A 18-year-old girl was sitting near Bishna, and it seemed funny to the scoundrels if they raped her in front of her parents. They dropped her on the floor, began to tear off her clothes and in horror the girl begged looking at Bishna, "You are a soldier, do anything."

And the resigned captain stood up from his place. There was no fear in his eyes, for he was Gurka, Bishnu Shrest, and he was asked for help. He listened, but did not hear the saving act of the law. But since the law is deaf to the supplications of the weak, it will take the law into its hands.

The thieves made three fatal mistakes that night. They decided to rob the train, rape the girl, and... did not take the knife from the gurk. And Bishnu got his kukri (traditional Nepalese knife). In many gurks there is a tradition, if the cockerel is removed from the knives, it must taste blood (some even make themselves in this case a small cut to "feed" the knife). That night, the dog was hungry. Very hungry.

And Bishnu went with the faithful cockerel on the robbers and rapists. One with a knife against 40. And there was no fear in his eyes, for he was Gurkha, Bishnu Shrest, and now he took the law in his hands. With a rush of his left hand he pulled the rapist from the girl and covering himself with it as a shield he threw on the fools. A blow, a blow, a blow, and another blow. One of the rapists made a mistake and attached a knife to the girl's throat, but more than a cut he didn't have time to do, because Bishnu dropped him with a kick.

He was shot, but by. He was tried to strike with knives and swords, but he repelled them and attacked them. But yet one blast of the knife reached the target by cutting an artery on his left arm. Maybe it would have left someone, but not Bishna, a man without fear in his eyes. He had only one hand, but even with one hand He made the law. He attacked the bandits and pursued them in the wagons. Three bandits were killed, eight were seriously wounded, and the remaining 29 fled in fear. Yes, Kouchi had a delicious dinner that night.

The train arrived at the station where police and ambulance were already waiting for him. The wounded bandits were arrested and the stolen assets were returned to their owners.

Bishna Schrest was treated for two months from a severe wound. He was reinstated in the army to be awarded medals. The Indian government paid him a prize and reward for the captured bandits. The family of the rescued girl offered him a huge sum for them ($6,500), but of course the hero did not take a rupee. For he was and is Bishna Schrest, a man without fear in his eyes. He said, “To fight with the enemy is my duty as a soldier, and to get rid of the hatred that attacked the train and the girl is my duty as a man.”

Well, the highest prize awaited the hero from other gurks, a new dolly with silver coverings.

I don't know how you are, but I'm glad there are more people in the world with steel eggs and no fear in the eyes. Those who go for the right cause even if one comes to fight against forty. And it would be even better if the law had never been deaf to the supplications of the weak. Otherwise, hundreds and thousands of ordinary people will rise from nowhere, and they will become like Gurka, Bishna Shrest, and their puppies will receive a glorious supper because they will make the law.

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