I am the owner of the social card of a moscovite, like millions of others. A useful thing, but has its time, you need to get a new one. On the day of the march to this organization, family and service issues arose, and I could not go the morning as I wanted. Having completed all the work, I arrived there only by 17 o’clock. The office is empty. I quickly found the right office. The lady who was dealing with issuing new cards immediately got a new one, and handing me a signature said:
You see an intelligent person. What happened here from morning to lunch, I don’t even want to remember.

A gang of hoppies, who were bullshit in an electric car with mushrooms, was cut under the root.

HK: I’m trying to gather three workers out of five non-working boxes.
How about success?
HK: So far there are three unemployed.

Katze North: the cape. Mom in the newspaper read that through television you can "watch" citizens
Drekhann: Oh, and if you disassemble the telephone during work, you can get what was on the screen at that moment.

Aaa: When my girlfriend was studying Haskell, she asked me what a career in mathematics was. I answered that this is, in fact, a controversial necessity term indicating the fact that the functions of a binary work and Hom are connected. I also found a goat after that...

bbb: What a subtle relationship you have :) My wife and I don't talk about such topics :)

In the bull crawl.
Breathing on the move:
Steroids are over.
I will fall now.

A familiar American made repairs in the apartment, and put the switch in the bathroom in the American way: inside the bathroom. Type so it will save on the fact that the light does not burn while he enters the bathroom or goes out.
I congratulated him and calculated: the one-time saving of the entry-out would be 2 seconds. 1 minute a day, 6 hours a year. At the power of the lamps 18x5 = 90 W and tariff 5. 38 year savings will be 2 rubles 90 kopecks.
Payment for transfer of the switch - 800 rubles.
I’ve never seen him so ugly...
and #960;

Grother: You’re like on a train, and yourself online on Skype
Crow: z c ntktajyf
Crow :,kz
I am from the phone.
Grother: Yeah yes yes ?

We sit with a friend in a cafe, a guy with a girl is sitting at the next table. Immediately it is visible that the girl really likes the guy, he, then the affair constantly with her about something, does not want there to be an uncomfortable pause in communication. And Madam herself zero attention to him, sitting in her iPhone and she is okay. Here she suddenly breaks off from the smartphone and says to the guy, "I didn't understand, but why am I sitting here with you? “Call a taxi, I’m going home.”

I live in the village. I went to a local supermarket to buy fish. I approach the shelves, a young couple stands there, a girl shakes a bowl with a syrup (well, sometimes they put it differently, and to determine where more, you need to shake). The guy says to the girl:

What are you doing? There everything is the same. No one is shaking.

I am going to take the bank. I begin to shake. The guy:

Let you all go!

BlondyB: And don’t go out. The value of the child is extremely overstated in mass culture, specifically for the youth to bear fruit. In many cases, connecting and communicating with friends is much more pleasant.
SVIT6: Can I do something while communicating with friends?
It can, but it is much more pleasant.

I advise, by phone of a friend, on the subject of installing maps on the navigator, via the computer.
After 15 minutes of unsuccessful attempts "click on the right" I tell him
Involve the logic.
Five-second hanging with a blow in the pipe, then the answer
Where is that button?
What kind of?
Logic, where to press?? to
The curtain...

The grandmothers are such, paradoxical, one, in her 80s, rides in a quake, the other at 60s stands up to switch the channel - there are too many buttons on the controller, and she is afraid of it.

It is a provincial, but quite large city. Doctors are few, and bills are even fewer. At the window stands an elderly woman and wants to get to the reception. It’s a long scandal that she really needs. There are a lot of people around, but everyone is accustomed to this picture. Suddenly a woman says:
Give me a ticket. You have to be treated. You gave Hippo.
For someone in the rest of the row, this phrase clearly became the phrase of the day.

Imagine you can fly, but you are not a human being. Who are you?
I am Batman.
You are not a man.
I am Lego Batman.

From work:
A: Look at it, they write - Rockefeller's heart changed for the sixth time!
I : Why?
A: An old man, a hundred years old.
Why does a dog have a heart transplant six times?
In :...! Brother, Rockefeller is not a dog breed, he is a billionaire!
and A-A-A! (Thinkingly) No, I’t... A hundred-year-old life like that, a sixth heart, and even underneath you there’s a snare.

Today at work, my brain turned off completely when I heard my colleagues discussing how to apply a dead mouse to a baby’s navel. Accounting is like that...

The fuck I do with my life.
XXX: I watch the recording of the Tetris championship

XX: I have been asking for a long time.
Why There Are Two Measurement Teaspoons in a Protein Bank
But then I realized that the protein was Russian, which means it was made for the Russians.
I wonder why not three.

In a black-black house, in a black-black room, behind a black-black table sits a black-black laser cartridge refueller, and in his black-black hand, on a black-black canvas, black-black goats. And behind the black-black door, someone with a black-black voice pronounces black-black "Be healthy, Fedy".