bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138321
 30.01.2017
The authorities should think of us, not of us.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138320
 30.01.2017
The home sun

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you move, the main thing is that you don’t stop.”
by Bruce Lee)

I then just returned from the army a few days ago, but I already had time to buy myself the most fashionable jeans of the Pyramids.
In the evening, a friend of Valerko (also in the "Pyramids") jumped to me and called into the video salon for some deficit film, something like "Deadly Karatist", or "Sales police officer strikes back."
My father, accompanying us on the threshold, asked:

Did you go to the cinema at the satellite?
“Pf-f, Dad, the movie is yesterday, we’re in a video salon.
What else is this?
Do you not know? You are giving! In short, you pay a ruble, you enter, you sit down, there is a huge telescope - maybe 60 centimeters of screen. Include in appearance a cool American combatant with translation and everyone is watching. Come with us, you will not regret it.
Dad smiled and said:

“In the year fifty-two or three, a real TV with a water lens was brought to the club. So we also broke the crowds, because no one had seen television live at the time. They also took rubles from the nose, only with old money. Everyone sat down, pushed their heads, watched some news, and as well as you were entirely excited.
“Daddy, well you compared: a black and white telephone with a lens and an American movie in sight.
I do not see any fundamental difference.
How do you not see? You are joking, right?
"Remember my word, progress cannot be stopped, someday in thirty or forty years, and maybe even earlier - these your sights will be in every apartment, look - I don't want to.

Valeria and I evaluated Dad’s sad joke and looked around. Well, where in every house can take a view, if it stands like "Icarus" along with all the passengers?
Closing the door behind us, the father stopped, cried out to us and said:

- By the way, I now remember, once your grandfather Vasya, told how he and the boys, probably in the year of the twelfth or thirteenth, came to a wealthy neighbor. Half a day they were there with him: the straw was carved, the water was pulled, the wood was folded, something else on the farm was messed up, and for this the neighbor brought them into the hallway and showed a miracle - for five minutes he turned on a real electric light.
Vasya after that night did not sleep, dreamed that someday, in many years and in his house will appear his personal home sun.
Now guys, go on now. Good luck to see the lamp.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138319
 30.01.2017
At the doctor’s reception:
Doctor, it hurts me all!
– Well, you’re curled, baby: you don’t have enough money for everything.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138318
 30.01.2017
Local Electrical

"Don’t think of the fuck swallowing in the rosette!
Strike the current – you will die!
When the fucker passes by,
Maybe it’s better to die..."

c) the Internet space.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138317
 30.01.2017
Indonesia raises export duties on palm oil by six times

Soap and lakes travel in the EU
In Russia, cheese and cream and milk are priced.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138316
 30.01.2017
Drugs of Dreams

My dream of today broke all the records: I dreamed of "stacks". Snowflakes, drops, waves and so on. Volume, alive, absolutely natural. It was possible to change the color, speed and angle. The most peaceful and pleasant sleep in my life.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138315
 30.01.2017
Private clinics are full of doctors and nurses, who take in principle only duty - at night, on weekends, on holidays. and bla bla bla.

Everything would be like that, but private clinics are full where there are full of payable patients. In the poor depressed region - 1-2 private clinics for the wealthy, and the rest are running in the rows for the reception of OMS and do not binge, because there is no money. For the same reason in the province it is very difficult to earn a nurse, nurse, tutor, housewife - there may be a need for services, but there is no money for potential clients.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138314
 30.01.2017
No one does more for the development of atheism than the RPC with its raiders’ seizures of museums and public buildings!!!! to

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138313
 29.01.2017
In nine years, you can accumulate millions of dohera if you live, eat and dress with your parents.
What do you, as students, do about this nonsense?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138312
 29.01.2017
You are, easier...I have a friend – a pediatrician. She works from 8 to 20 in her clinic on 3 sites, and until 23 she writes all kinds of labours there for insurance companies and military offices...and on Saturday and Sunday she runs for calls in a private hospital, 6 calls a day for 12 thousand, and more - it is impossible to serve, the city is big and no one will be able to shuffle the addresses in one area for her. She has no cars. I spent 10 years in a small family room. But think for yourself, is this life? Anyone would hate this kind of work. So office plankton - you are not working at all, but the advice to give is very good...

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138311
 29.01.2017
What is the difference between a student having a proof base or not? The student knows that the universe was born as a result of the Big Bang, life was born in the ocean and splashed out, dinosaurs were extinct, and from them in the course of evolution happened all the different. To get into this logical line of God simply won’t work.
God made a big explosion and then burned Sodoma and Gomorrah.
zzz: By the way, is it possible that the Big Bang is the result of the divine curtain?
It is not a curtain, but the air of the Lord’s blessings.
WWW: Humanity as a result of the divine exorcism? Not canonically, but behaviorally.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138310
 29.01.2017
iPhone with GIFs, say...
The piple does not hide the essence, the piple hide the form of the supply. Nashri a bunch - no one will eat, but if you take it in a smoking on a lacquer in accompaniment of the orchestra - it will eat, the eyes will shrink from pleasure, and will ask for additional supplements. Or two people – they say essentially the same thing, but the first is stoned, and the second is still praying while alive. The fuck knows why!
This is the merit of apples in the ability to serve competently.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138309
 29.01.2017
XXX: Look at it. The text game
You see a powerful magical artifact "The weapon of literacy". It provides protection proportionate to the analphabetism of the enemy. What will you do
> Wear the armor
Once the armor finds itself on you, it begins to shrink, slowly crushing you.
End of game. You want to start from the last place to save.

Do I do wrong?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №138308
 29.01.2017
And generally speaking on the subject that you just need to stress, work and you will have everything, forget one simple thing, there are not so many highly paid jobs in the country. No more than 1/10. Freelancers and private are also not very helpful in such a situation, because if customers do not have money, then you do not have high earnings. In a country where about 75% of all goods are in 1% of the population (official statistics for the Russian Federation), it is already difficult to earn a piece of bread without pulling out this piece from another person's mouth.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138307
 29.01.2017
#stampank_forev

It is strange that none of the manufacturers had a guess to make a whistle and sound "chuch-chuch-chuch" accompaniment.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138306
 29.01.2017
by Stampank
#mad_science
Playing in the Steam

Imagine a maneuvering heat car with a hard transmission from a diesel. In general, with a hardness, N of the wheel = M of the knee wheel (say, the overturn valves allow you to reverse the engine, like on ship diesel). The maximum is somewhere 50, that is, with any tricks of the type of an external compressor propeller (not a turbine), it will not be able to drive less than 8, there are already non-working turns.
And now, so that this piece of pure madness could touch and get out on those 8-10, and even with the composition, we put pneumatic cylinders on it (classic, on the sides, with wheels!), and a battery of balloons-recoverers, in which at each braking we inject the air with these cylinders, and when touching we spend (more traumatic, since it is necessary to brake from 20-50, and touch only to 10-15).
And now, say, if it looks like a steam carrier, blows like a steam carrier, touches like a steam carrier, but is it actually a pneumatic recovery high-tech economical heat carrier with composite secure cylinders and computer-controlled valves, is it a stumppank or dirt?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №138305
 29.01.2017
So can it be not in education, when 95% of the population are idiots?

I think the USSR made education accessible not to them, but to those five percent of the population, which it held behind the iron curtain and even tried to multiply them from the outside (the same Capica). Then the iron curtain fell. They have gone. And we stayed.

by Amator

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138304
 29.01.2017
I love advertising in fashion magazines with displays: there are constantly placing themselves clothes catalogues. Such uncovered bullying - like, if you, the curvy, nothing went out, there is always a possibility to throw out all that bottle, and buy ready clothes. ))) It is strange that these publishers do not consider themselves competitors.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138303
 29.01.2017
Every time I see gossip about work, salary, freelancing and income, I am torn apart from the desire to write about what I was doing that would have ~300,000r per month almost without applying any effort.
But every time I shake myself. If everyone knew this, who would be a doctor? Who will clean the streets, who will be the seller? Who will work in the CB, who will administer? There will be only us everywhere, and no one will serve us.
Even here I take care of you! Your member.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №138302
 29.01.2017
Freelancing in Medecine

I do not understand what is in this world... but why does it seem to me that this niche is not normal, that a doctor for a normal earning has to go on three jobs! When a person does not rest, his productivity decreases. Remember how many times have you yourself started to confuse the simplest things from lack of sleep or fatigue? This is fucking doctor! A person from whose physical and emotional state depend on the lives of other people. After updating the day, he should rest for 3 days, get distracted from work, sleep, read professional literature and come to work with fresh brains. In fact what? And then we wonder why so many medical mistakes...
Will a sleeping pilot or air traffic controller be allowed to work? Unlikely to. How is the doctor different?
Stop the earth, I’ll go down.

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