bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138301
 29.01.2017
> Considering that Goodmundsdottir is not a surname, but rather a paternity (type, Goodmundsdottir), There are no Icelandic names.

There was a good question of a la victory, what Buratino and Carlson have in common.
It was paternity.
and Karlovy.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138300
 29.01.2017
Another anti-talent cooking in my sister.
Masha: Strangely, the appearance of shit and the taste of shit, and the above-voiced product I did not put in the stove.
I’ve got the same cake, I’ve got it. Could it be liquid?
Masha: On the contrary, they can be torn like bricks.
Natasha: How do you bite? I lay out circles with a diameter of 10 cm and close with a cover. As soon as I cooked, I turn around and close again. Then they become soft.
Masha: Shorts on something like a bowl without a cover, I turn every time after catching the dress, forging and identifying her next trophy from the teeth.
Natasha is...
Masha: If you come for the lamp today, you will get a free multi-functional bonus!! to
Thank you, but we haven’t had any problems since last time.
I haven’t been in guests for a week!
Natasha: It is now.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138299
 29.01.2017
I am against sex for sex. That is: 1) against having sex with someone you don’t love if you’re not married; 2) against having sex with someone other than your wife if you’re married.

222: Is masturbation a grave sin?

Only if you don’t love yourself.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138298
 29.01.2017
We will go another way. I’ll wear a pink coat and you’ll come and reinstall my window.

Do not act, man! We know those hats. Two thousand to go, heaven. How about the mortgage?! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138297
 29.01.2017
By the way.

I had a small dispute with a friend. She told me that the new iPhone has six es, can take "Live Photos". That is straight super, miracles and magic straight like Harry Potter. I say that the gifs were invented hundreds of years ago, and such apple magic worked in the time of the 95th wing.

I shot specifically targeted anighiffs (not a piece of the video) and exactly portraits by genre (!) This is Konica-minolta Dimage X1. Moreover, the impression on the people they produced was exactly this, although the Anigifs as such had not surprised anyone for ten years. Take this antiquity and imagine a year. Yes, of course, it’s all an iPhone six Ace of Merit, ah. Whatever normal people do, in 10 years it will be re-invented by Apple. With the tablets, the duration was approximately the same. I remember myths and their parody story about the great self-made culibin, who in 1957 discovered the electric arc (read: for the first time in his lonely life saw a welder). That’s what Jobs’ father was doing, 100%.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №138296
 29.01.2017
A strong family is when she is beautiful and he is always guilty.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138295
 29.01.2017
No, I definitely sat on the bench where the bloggers were fucking. Where does this passion come from for graphic art? Please forgive me.
by ******
...this is what I don’t like, when after the equator of the feast the participants differ by gender, and in the male part someone, already red, begins to excitingly describe the “case at work.” Here I want to say that such stories are everywhere and always the same. And they end up with the usual morale: I

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №138294
 29.01.2017
The first ninjas were parents stealing by a sleeping child.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138293
 29.01.2017
Ready to sleep

Women were prohibited from using their genitals as “a vase, box, mouse, safe or wallet.”

Fuck, my 3.14zda, as I want, so I use it!=

Immediately came to mind:

The virgin swam in the pond.
She swam at 3.14 am.
It is sad, of course,
Fishing is fishing.

c) the old part

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138292
 29.01.2017
You can save for an apartment. Again, they are familiar, not from high-colloids with a high salary, ordinary average people. The family is husband, wife, child. They lived in a family hostel, 10 years of life spent only her salary, he went to the fund for the purchase of housing. Only the wife in this apartment moved. As they bought, for a long time she could only talk about her apartment, and describing, for example, the tiles that they laid on the kitchen floor, she dreamingly covered her eyes. A heartbreaking spectacle.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138291
 29.01.2017
You can buy an apartment with honest work. I got acquaintances for 3 years. He and she stumbled from the urus to the night, they had two cowards, some wear, others dry on the battery, socks broken and sheets. And most importantly, they lived with their parents and asked their parents to feed them. Here, living on the neck of the parents and you can accumulate if you refuse everything. Then they bought an apartment, multiplied and told their parents that they should not frequently visit, there is nothing to do.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138290
 29.01.2017
R (halk) = 0 is an incredible halk.
P (halk) = 0.01 is an unlikely halk.
P (halk) = 0.9 – the probable halk
Halk = 1 is a reliable halk.
At R (halk) from -0.0001 and above, the unlikelihood of the halk is scaled.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138289
 29.01.2017
#all_wishing_to get rich_fast_and_without_sms

"If you want to make money, work. If you want to get rich, you’ll have to come up with something else..." (c)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №138288
 29.01.2017
There is a story, the hero for some reason named "Duke Mary El".

The comments:
111: So is it. It translates as the land of men. Count of Man?
222: And there is another beautiful word of Adygei.
His lips eagerly whispered the name of the beloved: Adygeia, Adygeia, Adygeia my...
333: It is a communion. "I was leaving, fast adygeya"
333 - Deepreparation by Blaine
444: I am an adygel stitch from your fantasy))) And I smashed a whisper)))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138287
 28.01.2017
The main Russian question is not "Who is to blame?" and not even "What to do?"
And "How is it?and "

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138286
 28.01.2017
Oh, this extrapolation of personal experience to the whole conscious public:

The word "freelance" has been used.
I have lived there for 9 years and have built this house.

One successful freelancer has a crowd of people breaking from bread to water. This is first. Second, how do you offer, for example, a freelance surgeon to earn? Well, and thirdly, consider also the different living conditions and situations. Not everyone was lucky to get a highly sought-after and highly paid profession, not to mention other prerequisites and family dynamics. You would still tell hungry Cambodian children that all their problems are due to laziness and the inability to think with their heads.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138285
 28.01.2017
I had a small dispute with a friend. She told me that the new iPhone has six es, can take "Live Photos". That is straight super, miracles and magic straight like Harry Potter. I say that the gifs were invented hundreds of years ago, and such apple magic worked in the time of the 95th wing.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138284
 28.01.2017
Overall, the denial of the existence of HIV is a global problem. In early 1992, a journal opened in the United States dedicated to the mystification of HIV and AIDS, alternative treatments and issues of interest to the LGBT community. In 2001 the publication ceased to exist. The reason for this was that all the authors of the magazine died of AIDS.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138283
 28.01.2017
In the early 1990s, we didn’t have computers and the internet, we played tiles. I don’t remember the rules now, I remember, the goal was just to throw my tile into the hole and take the tile of those who didn’t throw it. To extract tiles came from the walls of houses - scratching them with a knife.

In general, one day I lost all the tiles, and in the neighboring courtyard I received from some uncle a necklace and the threat of losing my head at the next meeting. So in my world came ruin, hopelessness, as well as quarrels with my brother and peers because of the tile money.



The older boys (aga, 14-15 years old) went for tiles to "Stole" - an abandoned glass factory, but we, the little ones, were not taken with us. It is understandable, because in this mysterious place the unlucky traveller could be caught by the "Watchmen", or you could fail to fall into a hole with a winding armor, or just get lost.

Once a miracle happened: an older boy from the neighboring house was about to go for a harvest and was ready to take a padavan with him. My joy and adrenaline had no limits, but first I needed the approval of my ancestors.

When I asked my mother for permission to go fucking with a little-known boy in search of a lost hernia, she for some reason refused me.)



We continued to argue about tiles with my brother, and even started buying tiles for money instead of school lunches. However, the parents found an unusual solution to the problem. One weekend, the whole family sat in the car and went to an abandoned factory for a craving hernia.

Our sight appeared: a couple of semi-destructed buildings and a factory territory, all covered with tiles. Several overturned boards of the fence, metal columns for the grid - a rabbit - all this indicated the line of the former fence.

The tiles were rolled everywhere on the grass, in all the bushes and grasslands. White, gray, blue, green, there were even semi-transparent and turquoise tiles. Their eyes fled from such richness and diversity. We quickly filled the household bag, taken with us, and, gaining courage, approached the buildings themselves. Apparently, the elders did not come here, fearing the guard, because here I began to get pieces of colored glass. It was not flat window glass, but real glass stones of blue and green colors. The large fragments were the size of a litre bowl. From such happiness, I suddenly dared and decided that in the company of my parents the guards are not afraid of us – in the extreme case, we will all have time to jump into the car and leave them. Walking a little further, I found a piece of black glass stone, the size of my head, as well as a sky-blue stone, which changed colour to yellowish when the angle of view changed.



Glass wealth was still stored for a long time in bags and bags in the corner of the corridor, sometimes extracted from there to praise guests and gift friends.

I realized the genius of my parents’ decision many years later. We stopped arguing about the tiles, we stopped interested in them at all.



There is no place for quarrels when all the treasures of the world lie in your corridor.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №138282
 28.01.2017
It was in the kindergarten. The tables for food and classes, as in all other such establishments, were for four children. At my desk, besides me, there were two boys, one of whom I was in love with (Hello, Bogdan =)), and another girl. So, that morning, the boy Bogdan was unhealthy, he did not want to eat manna flour because he was slightly mute. But the teacher in our group was just Hitler in a shirt. A couple of silly phrases, pronounced by a whispering scream, made Bogdan quietly and quickly work with a spoon, while the teacher stood over him, putting his hands on his sides. And here, the last crumbs of cabbage are eaten, a spoonful screams about an empty plate. The teacher opens her mouth to say something like, "I made more than I ate," turns and begins to leave with a sense of duty. But here we notice that Bogdan's eyes expand, his face becomes a greenish shade, and in the next second all the meat eaten together with the remnants of past undigested food (I think that the guy had an indigestion), the fountain flies back into the empty plate and on the table around it. But, as we remember, the teacher is a beast and Bogdan is wildly afraid of her. And to avoid punishment, he grabs a spoonful and begins to squeeze back into himself what has just drained his stomach. What started here...It was just a chain reaction! First blowed (sorry, but you can't pick up another word here) I and the remaining two children at our table, then the neighboring tables entered the rage and so on the chain until almost all the children dropped breakfast on the tables in front of them, only the most severe stayed... Since then, everyone in our group has refused to eat manna and always given us any other for breakfast. And the mother of Bogdan came and instructed the noble lilies of upbringing. This is a gastronomic memory.

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