bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138281
 28.01.2017
and hello.
and hello.
How is your relationship with Christina? Not married yet?
No, we have split up.
And what happened?
I was tired of having too many requests.
For example what?
— Well for example update instance inner join (select groupid as group_id, (select messageid from message inner join thread on threadid = message.thread_id where location_id = @location_id and language_id = @language_id and concat(group_key, '.') like concat(group.`key`, '.%') order by message.created desc limit 1) as last_message_id, (select count(*) from thread where location_id = @location_id and language_id = @location_id and concat_group(locat_locat_key, '') like concat(group.`key`, '%' as thread_count, (select if(sumth.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138280
 28.01.2017
#ThisIsSpartaaaa

But in general, it is better to think twenty-five times before fighting the squid. You will face a few hungry people armed with shampoos.

[ + 21 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138279
 28.01.2017
The USSR did not regret the money for education - and these people who went to Soviet universities ran to relate their money to various MMMs, watch-and-drop-plunge prostomary and santabarbar, and in the breaks between these important affairs to pray diligently, although everyone from childhood told that religion is evil and God does not exist. So it may not be a matter of education when 95% of the population are idiots?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138278
 28.01.2017
The Subconcepts

All the vegetarians I know are slim. and

"A bad cow is not yet a gazelle!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138277
 28.01.2017


What if we look from another angle?
To install three screws for a weekend for 2000 each - it's okay, a half of a year is gained. At the same time, working on working days at the main job, earning for food - this is also where it went (although here is a joke about "you are still a lamp on my forehead hanging - I then and at night I will" remember).
But initially it was about the fact that he had earned himself in this way for an apartment in a few years (hence and half a year - three million (what) in six years). And I am a little more stunned - three million collected from installations of two thousand each - is 1500 installations of the pirate screw. Was he such a superhero? The Installer Captain? The Microsoft Man?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138276
 28.01.2017
The list of horror films that influenced people bla bla bla"
A horror movie. which affected more than 150 million people: "Lebbi Lake" on all canals in 1991
This is not horror, but ballet.
WOW: Believe me, more bricks have been put off from such a ballet than from all the horror films in the history of cinema combined.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138275
 28.01.2017
(Tian tried to catch the viruses on the compass)

I don’t want to be a computer scientist. I tried, I did not like it. Beer ended faster than the suspicious processes of executive files, the sweater and beard never grew, only wanted to eat.
XHH: We will go another way. I’ll wear a pink coat and you’ll come and reinstall my window.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138274
 28.01.2017
In space to extraterrestrial civilizations are sent various messages, books, paintings, photographs, drawings. I think we need to send a computer with a second devil into space, the aliens will come to us.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138273
 28.01.2017
I always have narcissistic dreams. Last night, for example, I was a wreath made of bread, and my friends and I saved the world. To do this, it was necessary to fly from the world of "war" to the world of "freedom", which were some kind of garages and did not get caught by helicopters. Well, after a successful flight, I was already in another universe celebrating it all night with the metal group. In short, I don’t like to wake up and realize how boring I live.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №138272
 28.01.2017
For the tourist brand of Russia offered the slogan "here is everything".

In my opinion, the slogan should be "And so will come". You can still "Phuy", but it’s too much. What other proposals are there?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138271
 28.01.2017
When I get old and if I can’t digest meat, I’ll actively promote vegetarianism; if I can’t eat meat, I’ll have to ban the rest.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138270
 28.01.2017
xxx: *Photo of the circle with the inscription in the frame from Heroes 3: "Astrology announced a tea week. The amount of tea has doubled."*
Yyy: But I drink only water.
XXX: The Zora
The tea is happiness.
God gave a cup and a cup of tea.
We were born to drink tea.
You just didn’t have a normal tea.
Fuck it, it comes out.
Yyy: What I am Cheetah

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138269
 28.01.2017
Flight Tokyo - Moscow - St. Petersburg.
The baggage from Tokyo was ordered to Moscow, in Moscow it needs to be received and handed over again.
xxx: Apparently, the Japanese airlines do not take responsibility for what happens to our luggage in Russia.
Yyy: No one takes responsibility for what happens to our luggage in Russia.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138268
 28.01.2017
I am not in social networks, after the institute moved to another city, so I practically do not communicate with former co-cassians. And there's a call from the same group - have not been seen for 5 years. You are in Tula? Tanka in Saratov, and Dimka in Moscow, and Zhenka.
I ask: Where are you yourself?
In the bedroom, I put the child.
0 - O

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138267
 28.01.2017
Today the boss issued: "I am so glad that you work with me! If I had the opportunity, I would encourage you more". I was not confused: "Can I get a piece of a banana cake?"
And he is like "Yes, and the maffins eat".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138266
 28.01.2017
We have two ads along the street in a row, one congratulates the city with the anniversary of 280 years, followed by the quote of Zhvanetsky, apparently the advertising place awaits the customer and so far on the shield placed what was closer to the heart of the owner of the agency: "Wisdom doesn't always come with age, sometimes age comes one!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138265
 28.01.2017
(Thinking at the glass for wine) Something I can’t remember where I pulled it from...

From our wedding. Such an unforgettable event, yes, dear?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №138264
 28.01.2017
At the age of 3 years because of a doctor's mistake I completely lost hearing.An inexperienced doctor prescribed the wrong medicine.I was sent to the capital.Mothers did not allow me to stay with me.Doctors and nurses had no time to watch me,episodially I was cared for by heart-healthy sanitaries, but most of the time I was on my own.I had paper and pencil.Truth, not very long,paper with pencil was picked by older girls. They often mocked me and even beat me.In the evening, lying in my bed, I looked out the window.There was another world: a tall building, remembered by me entirely glass, people walked around the glass, descended and climbed the stairs. The glass house seemed a miracle to me, especially these very stairs – black zigzags with scales.After a while, the bossy took over me a boy much older than me. He was 12, but he seemed to me terribly adult and tall.I don't remember his face, only a red cock with a cape and dark hair.He didn't let other children offend me.He sat on his shoulders and cuttled.I watched so I didn't forget to go to the dining room and eat.He took me to my mother when she came to visit me.I craved a cucumbers, sitting on a tough fanery seat in the hall, and my mother looked at me and cried.I was tired and dirty, he lost weight.When he recovered he finally went away.A guy in a red coat remained.He has no name, no face, only tall, thin and hairy with a caps.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138263
 28.01.2017
Coaching is easy

Everything is right. When the baggage of knowledge does not correspond to the volume of the luggage compartment, the luggage compartment stops closing.
Some are very difficult to silence.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138262
 28.01.2017
Most people should be afraid of themselves. To hurt others, you have to steal.

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