bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №138803
 14.02.2017
Neighbors beat their son on any occasion: for bad assessments, worn-out clothes, for being rude, etc. Now the neighbors are old, the son grows up and beats them. Also in any case. These strange people are upset!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138802
 14.02.2017
More about outsourcing.
Shob to burn. I work somewhere, we have electronic and mechanical pieces. They used to do it themselves, while always doing it normally. There was no one who stretched out his hands and said that the devil knew him. They sent them out to outsourcing. The stuff broke, they called the spec. He spent half a day forging, said to change the whole node and went to order. We became reluctant to wait, so after his departure in 20 minutes repaired themselves (the sensor just left). Now, if something breaks - we call and say - we need to replace. By the way, the contract was re-locked 3 times - tried to work with different offices. It’s always the same :)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №138801
 14.02.2017
And you listen.

Listen, if you remove sarcasm from your words, then you are right. It is a pity that you do not understand it and will not understand it. Like many who have forgotten how to live.

And you can just not prevent people from living as they want (how do you care about other people's wives and hobbies?). You need it, you are alive. If you are not satisfied with your partner’s lifestyle, just find someone with the same budget and household attitude as you do. The secret is simple.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138800
 14.02.2017
February 14, early in the morning, meth, I go to work, 5 unbarred messy men in orange vests scaling ice, one on the phone:
Hello, I bought you a cake.

And my husband in the morning on my romantic gift scratched my naked stomach and asked:
Today is 14th, right?


[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №138799
 14.02.2017
Answer to this:

Or let the girl grow up and leave the hobby to the children.

Have you not swallowed? In your opinion, after the age of 18, all people should immediately forget about their hobbies and turn into machines for making money, raising children and cooking / washing / cleaning?! to

The girl in history has already worked and all the salary gave to the general fund, but dared to take a portion of the money for her hobbies. And the author did not take money from there for drinks with friends, gifts to relatives, buying yourself all kinds of tastes? Did he not think about it and did not think about how much his food costs? It is better for a girl to live alone and rent a house than to feed an adult man!!! The author of the slope, to whom, fortunately, the girl does not care, only to serve him! She has already found work to generally not spend on zobby, but he is still dissatisfied!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138798
 14.02.2017
You better tell me what you did, that you were worn by a cable from the radio. Vanguay: After revealing all the subtleties, the youth will no longer be called to your parents, but will demand that you be forever isolated from humanity.

There are parents who punish even diseases (grip, cold, angina) of young children.
He got sick to eat expensive pills.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №138797
 14.02.2017
Are you stupid?

That is, it doesn’t matter what was behind the wrong that caused the punishment.
Even if he did not kill a person by pure accident (look on the network, how many such minor idiots kill random passers), he is still not to blame, but to blame the parent, well...

The child is to blame for his wrongdoing, but not that the idiot parent broke the radio. And to blame a child for his own inability to hold himself in his hands all his life is, as they say now, a sign of a toxic parent, and simply a dictator, a manipulator and an irresponsible aggressive fool.
Example: the cat dropped the vase, the vase broke. You took the TV and threw it into the cat. The TV also broke. And you started crying that this dumb cat broke the TV. According to your logic, the cat is to blame for all the failures. Likewise: there was nothing to wear a short shirt, so that you would not be raped; there was nothing to cross the road, so that you would not be beat and other nonsense.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138796
 14.02.2017
Valentine’s Day is a pagan holiday. You go on the street, and different couples here and there engage in language.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138795
 14.02.2017
About the cat. The 361s have a letter in the middle, the 315s on the left top. In the cold sweat I woke up, the cat dreamed. In what dream book to find, what is the dream of marking silicon transistors?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138794
 14.02.2017
My father is breeding chickens in the countryside. He keeps them in the square and allows them to walk through the garden in the summer. On one of those days, he caught all the chickens back after a walk, but did not count one. After inspecting the nearest area, it turned out that the chicken fell under such a typical wooden toilet. Not thinking long, the father took the spade and began to scratch her through the toilet with screams: "What are you doing there? Go out and go out!“”



Imagine what my brother was experiencing at that moment sitting inside the toilet.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138793
 14.02.2017
I am so tired for today.
XXX: Going out of the house
YYY: What did you do?
xxx: I was in the gym, then I walked 5.5 km from him, went to the supermarket, bought food, came home, cooked food, washed my jacket with my hands, did something useful for the household, ate, I am going to wash dishes and think about why there is no line behind my door of half-clothed babies with posters that have written confessions of love addressed to me.
Wait for summer, it is cold to stand

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138792
 14.02.2017
Outsourcing in brief. if in more detail: transferred here in the grocery service of cables to outsourcing, telephone lines, fiber optics, the result came from the regional center of the outsourcing cabling team result: the gas pipeline is pierced by the excavator barrel - 1pcs, the pillars are destroyed together with the installer - 1pcs, the districts without the Internet and wireless communication for the 2nd day - 1pcs, the street fucking to the hooks with excavations and cable searches - 1pcs, but fuck us in the area of the staff brigade of cabling staff who know their networks, we will save them to the hooks money of the company, and service to the outsourcing will be transferred. And so forgot the pipes, the water channel 2 pieces and six houses without water for a month.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138791
 14.02.2017
The U.S. Justice Department warned the White House about the presence of Russian leverage of influence on Flynn.

Some were afraid of drinking.

Others are Billy Bons...

And I... he-he I was afraid of Flynn.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138790
 14.02.2017
If you are attacked by a vampire, bite him first. At least he will be offended.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138789
 14.02.2017
The neighbor's girl is playing with our puppy. He plays such a cotton chicken - he bites the chicken and chews the cotton. She chooses and condemns him.
Don’t eat it, you can die. You will be dead. And then what am I? You will say about me "look at this psycho. She plays with a dead puppy."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138788
 14.02.2017
Comments on the article "Central Bank sharply lowered the rates of the dollar and the euro"

Okay, let’s get up from the knees!
You: A country that is not always on your eyebrows on your knees! and ;))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138787
 14.02.2017
I sit with the dentist in a chair. It is anesthetic, I don’t feel half the tongue. Baldue, the eyes are closed. The doctor makes a blindness from the upper jaw. He holds a shape with plasticine in my mouth so that it freezes and does not fall, apparently. I felt something touched my tongue. Oh, it is a pipe that sucks out the fluid. I am bored. I chased that phone with my tongue, and then I got caught up. 3 minutes of fun. He went up and down and chased her around. I would continue to play, but the doctor asked if she could already take her finger or I was planning to lick it for a while.

It’s so nice, goddess! All this time I licked the little dentist with a badly sensitive tongue.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138786
 14.02.2017
Kawaii: Where is the wall of memes? I am the current that stood in the traffic jamming, some dumb man slipped sixth next to our 2 and I didn't let him naturally, but then he equaled me, I cast a steep glance to assess who is there, and there a man with open eyes shows me a sheet with the inscription "NOW DISCURSE."

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138785
 14.02.2017
The moon will collide with Earth in 65 billion years.

I don’t know which Moon will collide with which Earth there, because our Earth and the Moon will die in 5 billion years when the Sun turns into a red giant. Without ever confronting.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138784
 14.02.2017
How I miss those times when a boss (a man) was present in our group of grandparents. He is a rare boredom, but with him at least there were no long conversations about kids (which are far beyond 20 years), analyses, new fashionable furniture and, as usual, stones like to lose weight (eating cakes). I would like to work in silence...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna