bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №144424
 01.09.2017
Rising prices, poverty and unemployment are considered by the majority of respondents to be the most acute problems of the country. Sociologists explain: these difficulties are difficult to overtake with propaganda"

Zzz: These difficulties are hard to cover up with propaganda. It is hard, of course, but it can...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144423
 01.09.2017
grig_siren: Zen Buddhism... Sounds good

vitus_wagner: And the followers of this teaching are called "buddhist bells".

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №144422
 01.09.2017
About Gifts

I got a gold bracelet for my birthday. I do not like gold. After that, he realized his mistake. Silver, a set of guashi, a newly released album of a favorite band... This is called "attention". And the best gift was a good tourist knife for the New Year. So these are your "shorts" for those who haven’t dared to know their partner as a human being.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №144421
 01.09.2017
What happened to ZZZ yesterday?
Yyy: She was sad, we went to the store, bought her a cake and a bottle of wine.
XY: YYY, I am sad too.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144420
 01.09.2017
I have lived in Paris for several years, so there guys are very careful about their own hygiene and their hair in the abdomen is almost absent. Oh, and how pleasant it is - to feel like the skin is pressed to the skin, the sensations are just incredible, the excitement is much stronger and just look more pleasant) I don't even know how to return to Russia after that, where a woman's growth is a disgrace, and a man's - the norm, which is not discussed.

ZZZ: The worst thing a person fears when returning to Russia is a hairy skull.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144419
 01.09.2017
<xxx> Just witnessed the beautiful
<xxx> Neighbors at the venue complained that the children of each other to drill prevent :-)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144418
 01.09.2017
From the discussion, why in the beginning "Stranger. In the cabin of the crew there is a tail with which they try to break the captain's anabolic capsule.
Why the spacecraft?? to
It is a firearm.
They should have a fire gun.
What is a fire gun?
In case of fire, shoot yourself.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №144417
 01.09.2017
Metalists - hip, punk - hip, and rappers - hip

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144416
 01.09.2017
- Only on September 1st our taxi will take your first-class student to school FREE (120 rub.)
There is a free taxi in the city for 100 people.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №144415
 01.09.2017
We decided on Monday.
Make a list of fools
By Wednesday we were on the list.
Everything was on the list on Saturday.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144414
 01.09.2017
The most prominent example of gender discrimination is the phrase “man must.”

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №144413
 01.09.2017
“Grace,” I report darkly, “I sat on a diet.
Why so sad? My husband responds sympathetically. Has it spread?
- Goat, - I bump and slide into the kitchen to cook a magical shrimp.
After 10 minutes, the man begins to smell anxiously.
and yes! I speak with challenge. I’m on a diet and I’ll eat it.
- Wait, - glory flaps, not ceasing to shake his nose. The same smell... mmm...
He blissfully falls down in the chair.
What is? I ask confidently. You like it, right?
I never thought I could have anything in common with a person who likes the smell of cooked celery. They can be tortured if the international convention has not yet prohibited them. By the smell, it must have been.
"You know," continues the husband, covering his eyes from pleasure, "when I was a kid, I was sent to my grandmother in the village for the summer. It smelled the same when she was cooking.
I swim in a smile, and he continues:
- She kept pigs and twice a day, she bragged them such a shit... One in one smells, direct nostalgia...
I stood and he opened his eyes and said enthusiastically:
Do you know what kind of pigs grow up?
and roar.
So how to live?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №144412
 01.09.2017
“We are singers and musicians, acrobates and jokes” is the hymn of the State Duma.! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144411
 01.09.2017
I asked one of my friends to see Base 1C. After the update, there were improvements and programming errors. Carried for a couple of hours, fixed everything, named the price in 3 t. r. He was given 5 t. r., said he did not need to give up. He was incredibly happy, still 2k above.



Later, he gave them one report on the movement of funds, and there, among the expenses, a line with his surname came to him, but instead of 5 t. r. stood the sum of 10 t. r.

It seemed more given than asked, but still somewhat offensive.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144410
 01.09.2017
Every time somebody calls out the appearance or image of a "Luke" I involuntarily imagine a FEM-Chipolino...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144409
 01.09.2017
I work in school, but life was so that in the summer I had to work as a maid in a hotel (I live in a city where the maid gets more in the summer than the teacher). I wanted to write a post about this interesting experience, and here is a wave of tea. I will also put my five copies. I personally believe that leaving a cupcake in expensive hotels is not a necessity at all, there is already normal money for the service, but we are all people, and the cupcake can not but please :) But my story about that is not in money happiness. I drove the car of the room service along the corridor, as suddenly one room opened the door. Carefully looking around, from there, a little boy with ninja spots advanced, assessed the situation and broke into the direction of the restaurant. I looked into the room, and there was an older ninja brother sitting there, all passionate about cartoons. Together we brought the fugitive back to the room, and the elder was very scared, apparently imagining the lilies that could have been obtained. Mindfully condemned parents who leave children 8 and 3 years without supervision in the hotel (papa and mom went to the vineyards, but did not ask the hotel for the supervision of the children, although this is practiced), condemned, and forgot. A day later, in the same place, I was carried by the older brother of the shell-pop young man. Hungry on the sides, he bragged that I was very helpful to him, and he knows that it is customary to give a cup, but he has no money, stayed at home in the bowl, "and here." On that note he handed me a...kinder surprise:) I refused, but he was relentless. And you know, this summer I had a cash equivalent of 500 to 5000 rubles, but the kidder warms my heart to this day. P.S Instead of a toy, there was a puzzle.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144408
 01.09.2017
I worked in a bank.

He helped an elderly woman withdraw money from the ATM.

We stand with her, showing how to insert a card in the ATM, and a guy stands near the neighboring ATM.

And then the following happens:

Enter the PIN code.

She (Rightly) 5568

I: So why did you call it me? And in full voice? Access to your money. What if someone can listen and use it?

She: And what? You are an employee. You will not use it!

I: No, of course, but...

And here is the guy: I will!

The eyes were terrible.

He walked, took his card and left, and we are all standing.

And then a woman says to me with a trembling voice – can I change these numbers? Just quiet so no one can hear.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №144407
 01.09.2017
My father had such. Every Mother’s Birthday, the whole entrance over us was rusting as he pulled the roses. Mom loves chrysanthemums, everyone knows that my mom loves them, and who did not say that my mom loves chrysanthemums... And my mom was born in early September, when these chrysanthemums each grandmother has almost three pennies (school lines have already passed, and the flowers are still blooming), say, don’t shock demonstrably with the thickness of the wallet, throwing money on the empty breathing almost on the second day of the dull roses.
In general, a man who measures a gift expensive, in life nobody will make a normal delightful gift :( All love and dragons!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144406
 01.09.2017
About the hamsters- reminded :) In the country came on the roof "big striped flies"- asses, i.e. It is terrible to touch them in the summer. Spring is coming and the snow is still lying. Go with the child to the house. Somehow arrived, the last 500 meters of the belt in the snow, wet like @-ki. They came, went on the roof, and there was no nest. As if someone broke it and threw it out. And no trace - only a glass of granite moved from the shelf to the loft... Apparently, asses were drunk, broke the nest and flew wherever :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144405
 01.09.2017
Why is the girl injured or worse a gunshot? Then she will be able to answer! to prohibit!

One has already responded from the ass to 2 tight daugs, as if still sitting. The only way to defend yourself is to escape. These are Russian laws.

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