bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №107389
 26.12.2014
Situation: I leave the subway, I see a Russian teacher from my second course (by the way, I have not communicated with her for 3-4 years).
So I stretched the cap, raised the shirt and passed by: that a woman's evening to ruin, she's good.

And it is true, I would also after "not communicate" tried to not get the Russian teacher in the eyes...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107388
 26.12.2014
Are you preparing for the exam?
YYY: But...not yet...not even at night...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107387
 26.12.2014
The female stuff.
In the store, one girl asked the other girl what she was wearing (and she was wearing the "MAC Matte Lipstick Heroine").

Q: You have a very beautiful dress, what is the company and shade?
WOW: Thank you very much! This is “MAC Cocaine.”
The cocaine? I haven’t heard of it, I only know of the heroine.
Oh yes, of course, the hero. Sorry, I don’t know much about drugs.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107386
 26.12.2014
...
This is what I do - stop dropping into toxicosis what you previously just masked in yourself.
– – – –
Lovely man, to get sick 24 hours a day!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107385
 26.12.2014
Psychologist: Okay and clear. Where is my favorite?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107384
 26.12.2014
The sister bought the ring of Barahira (from Silmarillion).
I took it from her, because I am the eldest in the family, and I do not observe the canon.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107383
 26.12.2014
The White Snow
from the sky to us.
I am at MCA. In the blockade
Third hour in a row.
Not time today.
I buy a telecast.
What to do at the party?
I will drink a lot.
The white snow,
very many of them.
Next to the ambulance.
I gave birth to three.
We have snow tomorrow.
They will fly again.
Where is the dollar -30, Euro-35?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107382
 26.12.2014
My mother is a teacher in high school. I always hear complaints from her that they say from children and their parents you won't go anywhere: and in the resorts they will find, and when the phones are turned off they will get, and they will say hello to another 20 years.
Situation: I leave the subway, I see a Russian teacher from my second course (by the way, I have not communicated with her for 3-4 years).
So I stretched the cap, raised the shirt and passed by: that a woman's evening to ruin, she's good.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №107381
 26.12.2014
to this
Today in the supermarket I paid at the box office, the cashier asks for twenty copies, and I only have ten. A few coins are rolled on the floor. I raise ten copies and give it to the cashier.
That’s what I understand – service.
--------
I generally always do that :) Around the supermarket box office there is always a little thing that people are embarrassed to raise - like us, the poor! :))) Yeah, by the way, the beggar somehow also advised to walk around the pebbles and pick up a rolling pebble. You would see how he looked at me!! It is :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №107380
 26.12.2014
I read an anecdote in the office:
Going to the bar?
You cannot go to the bar.
Going to fishing?
You cannot go fishing.
Do you regret getting married?
cannot be regretted.

And why is this one Denis not laughing at an anecdote?
You cannot laugh.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №107379
 26.12.2014
Also also :
to these:
to this:
The auto-informator, as far as I remember, says: "Injury cases on the escalators were involved". Everything is taught and taught. Soon there will be no escalators, but a bloody meat bowl.

The same shit, I ride, indeed, on electric bikes... so I imagine, years after five, like electric bikes melt people in crowds, even those who just go by...

I beg you, our Fairy is getting twice as thick every year. For 20 years already.

The economy is becoming more efficient and efficient.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107378
 26.12.2014
Q: Mosquito, what is the weather here? Everything went up in shit.
We are all frozen in shit!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107377
 26.12.2014
Not Albania, but Schipperia
-----------
This was not the Albanian yazig, but the Schipper FSE these years?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107376
 26.12.2014
XXX: There are almost no fresh flowers on the alley, but there are artificial flowers. A little people, at least a day. My satellites were slightly behind while I was equipped with a camera. I wanted to ask something, I addressed the passing grandmother: "Excuse me, can I ask?". It recklessly turns around and goes on. Hm To the next passing, non-young man, I ask already this way: "Sorry, can I ask?". And he, contemptuously looking at me and splintering, also leaves. To the third, a young man hanging with photocalls and bags, I ask for every chance: “Excuse me, may I ask?” He responds joyfully, taratorit, as if he had met someone of his family.
Sorry to. My English is not so good.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107375
 26.12.2014
The xxx:
In the United States, a man named Jack Daniels named his son Jim Bim

YYYY :
It is logical
Not five lakes.

The xxx:
If there are five children...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107374
 26.12.2014
Probably something on the cover is written somewhere. Maybe genetics, maybe society has travelled through the brains. In general, when my wife and I went to the ultrasound, I hoped for the boy to the end. But... a girl. At first I even felt upset. But then the thought became accustomed, and when a healthy, strong and beautiful baby was born, it completely let go. I now have two daughters. And when a mother-in-law and a sister-in-law come (well, or two mothers / grandmothers with a cousin, as you like), I take up the striped robe and call myself a 'padi-shah'.
Although what the boy wanted to feel - the elderly went to dance. The Brazilian. "Capoeira" are called.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107373
 26.12.2014
I would like to pay a lot of money for my school in April.
XXX: All the ZP is there and will go.
If in other universes you study and work, then in mine you work and learn.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107372
 26.12.2014
Belka: I was today at DR with a friend in a Russian bath. There are a lot of rooms, as well as companies. Our time is over, and we will meet a crown of girls in new year's light costumes. "The Snowmen " was a man of 10. We were surprised with girls, like how creatively girls came to celebrate, and we were simply, almost family... and then our boys looked around and opened our eyes to the world. The shock hit us all.
Winnisepu: However, what a day of wonderful discoveries... How I would like to occasionally look at the world with your eyes. The Elves :(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107371
 26.12.2014
xxx: Why do we say "project"? The project is something limited by shame.
yyy: I would add "limited from all sides"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107370
 26.12.2014
Why then? I always imagined the Sleeping Beauty.
____________________________________________
Cinderella could even look at the pearl in advance. And then some unknown necrophil broke into someone else’s house – and there are no options... As one acquaintance said about the fairy tale "Rumpelštilchen" – "there is nowhere said that the king is young and beautiful or that the daughter of the miller is married to him".

In life somewhat more fans of the classic Mermaid meet. Who, once in love, it is necessary to give up his native element, move into another world, where every step is given pain, not have the opportunity to talk and be heard by someone - and sincerely rejoice for the loved one, when he confidently announces that he met the princess of his dreams. If you don’t like it, you don’t love it honestly enough. You don’t show love enough.
The story of the "Pearl", "Morozko" and the like was invented by Machechis. To lose their lives on them, humbly waiting for the fairy to come and give everything.

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