bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №106989
 18.12.2014
by ivan_gandhi
Imagine yourself in his place – flying through the universe, among the stars, quasars, pulsar, black holes, dust and planets; in a billion or two years how much you see.

And suddenly you are in Chelyabinsk.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106988
 18.12.2014
In any case, or, I fear, the panic will rise.

From Habr.

Nidaylokn: Even if the elevator's wires break, it won't fall.
MrPeterLink: But from the sharp operation of the hunters, the bottom can break away.
Ayahuaska: But overall the elevator will be whole! (They are :

The subsidiary of the office in which I work is engaged in the production of elevators. They have a shell frame around the actual box (and also from the bottom), approximately 70x150 mm in the eye, tighted with screws, boiled and with diagonal stripes of a steel bar thicker than the finger. When I first saw it, I asked, it was so hard, and I was shown excerpts from GOSTs, some calculations and the customer's TZ. Lifts are made for residential multi-storey houses, not for defense, if anything.
Of course, I will not claim for all manufacturers, but we do so.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106987
 18.12.2014
x: from queries in Yandex: "How to bring a girl to a jet printer?"
X: heavy awake admin

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №106986
 18.12.2014
You are from there, you should know.
If you follow your logic, anyone should be a specialist in gynecology.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №106985
 18.12.2014
A celebration soon
Magic will happen.
The Euro is 40
$30 again

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №106984
 18.12.2014
>>> you are right of course. But if you lose your order because of you, you will be fired and they will also be right. Because your job is not to teach the employer literacy, but to accept orders. And to help the customer to formulate what he needs, because they never, shit, do not know what they need!

Here is exactly. Ancient technical dialects, miraculously preserved in deaf villages, gradually replace the normal technical language, taught in PTU for decades, but unfortunately, times are different. We have the same story in the sale of auto parts. Sometimes you want to leave the car mechanic right behind the shelf, who does not know that the shells in the planetary transmission are not external and internal, but solar and coronal, but you have to force yourself.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106983
 18.12.2014
XXX is:
I recommend listening to today's broadcast of Prohanov on RSN. He spoke in the same spirit, and he was absolutely right.
No matter how hard it may be, we must go through this time and problems, all together. Nothing is given for just so, for everything you have to pay.

YYY :
Prohanov is an old marasmatic, and I am surprised that he is given some ester, in addition to the ester of the medical diet.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №106982
 18.12.2014
Communication from one of the networks for the sale of electronics and household appliances:
- All who have received our free newspaper-catalogue with the indication "prices are valid until December 24, 2014", we inform you that this advertisement got into your mailbox completely mistakenly.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №106981
 18.12.2014
He lived with me the second day and ate all the food. The women brought.
The beautiful ones?
and Available!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №106980
 18.12.2014
Sansa prefers beautiful men. Cersei prefers beautiful men. She prefers beautiful men. Mel prefers Rglor and beautiful men. Brennan prefers beautiful men. Renley prefers beautiful men. Ramsey prefers beautiful men.
Yyy: And beautiful men meanwhile lose hands, fingers, teeth, heads... Martin doesn’t prefer beautiful men.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106979
 18.12.2014
Frigid and non-frigid
We don’t forget about assexuality, right? We, by the way, are a lot.
We don’t want sex at all. and never. Even though we get pleasure from it.
This is difficult to explain, of course...on one forum compared the sensations with black ivory. I said, yes, tried, very delicious, but I never in my life wanted to buy myself a pot.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №106978
 18.12.2014
xxxh: Knowing her not the first year, I did not expect to hear the question (even, rather a sentence) with such intonation. She said it as if she was ashamed that it was her thoughts, as if she had stolen it from herself. But, nevertheless, I agreed out loud and up to the end:"and... maybe... you’ll cheat?"And I couldn’t refuse.
In about 15 minutes I stood in front of her smoothly shaved.
Was it in the blood? Looking with a stunned look?
xxx: No, her following phrase was in the way we communicated: “Dumb, I was talking about the face!!”and "

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №106977
 18.12.2014
X: 160 to 110. How damn I am...
Y: Yes, they’ve gotten the euro with that already!
X: The pressure

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №106976
 18.12.2014
2014-12-17

News of the day: Yesterday for one euro

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №106975
 18.12.2014
Visitors are shameful. GOST 30245-2003 - Profiles. GOST 8559-75 - Straw square! GOST 6688-91 - a straight corner! Specialists have divorced you. The damages, the fucker.
--------
You are of course right. But if you lose your order because of you, you will be fired and they will also be right. Because your job is not to teach the employer literacy, but to accept orders. And to help the customer to formulate what he needs, because they never, shit, do not know what they need!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №106974
 18.12.2014
to this:
Talk about the rise in prices against the backdrop of the rise of the dollar:
But you will come to the store tomorrow, and there the bread costs not 16 rubles, but 160!! to
I’ll take half...

ha ha! Surprisingly :-)) This was all already at the beginning of the restructuring, when prices were released. Then my mom came out of the store completely upset and said, "Creme 170 p.!!"Given that, yesterday, when we were still in the former state, the cream was worth 1 p. 70 K. So don’t be afraid, we’re scary.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №106973
 18.12.2014
I worked in the police for about five years and for that time I only heard a thank you once. There is not for the time when we detained the robber in the federal search, and not for the time when the robber was not caught on the gas bottles, and not for the capture of the robbers at the scene of the crime. No, not for this nonsense.And for the fact that at the entrance I wiped my legs well - the cleaner from all her heart so sincerely praised, and thanked the parents for raising such a son. I love my country, honestly ?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106972
 18.12.2014
The most important thing is to live until March.)
There are two things in March. Consider the lifting of sanctions, and all payments on external loans will be made.
And the interstellar on DVD =)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №106971
 18.12.2014
I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. I stood at the box and remembered what else I wanted to get. After a short pause, I remember and give out: "and a package of tempalgine please"(the head was terribly sore the second day in a row). The whole depth of the question of the girl’s cashier: “Is it for you to be sure?” said with a barely contained hysterical laugh, I understood only after leaving the pharmacy.

Girl, if you are reading this, a huge thank you for the positive mood for the rest of the day!and :)

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №106970
 18.12.2014
here here :
>People, what did you do "Our Crimea"?
Do you think that without Crimea we’t try to crush the economy?

No, it’s all, of course, fun – when there’s a black ruler in the West who sleeps and sees us ruin, but something doesn’t go together – the factories we’re not allowed to build by the “possible enemy”? Or,, a likely opponent has prevented us from finally reorienting our economy from “pumping oil” to “producing goods and selling it”?
They are not angels, yes. But think, would we be able to crush their economy so much? The economy of China?
There is nothing to chew on the enemies of the Russian people who are everywhere, there would be production, exports, competent foreign and domestic policy - fucking anyone did something to us. So we ourselves destroyed everything, "they" do not even have to bother to do so. So is.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna