I remember when I just learned to cook (it was a long time ago), even such a simple topic as cooking pasta could put into stupor. When they were cooked, they had to be thrown out on the pit and boiled with boiling water. I knew the theory, but after taking a pot of pasta and looking at the puddle, I realized that the pastion is not together. There was an urgent need for a third hand, he finally thought, put on an empty pot and poured pasta on it.
I briefly told a friend about this. He looked at me for a long time with such a strange look that I was very sorry for being so revealed.
Even more surprising was his question: "Do you know how to cook pasta?and "

“X... muddy!” With such a summary was removed a batch of glass phaloimitators.

A forty-year-old companion after two marriages began dating a thirty-year-old, and immediately received the nickname "pedophile".

xxx: "In Russia recorded a shortage of food salt"
yyy: "Baba Glazha has closed a million dollar bucket of cucumbers"

XXXX: Oil dropped below 77
The dollar rose against the ruble
Court refuses to ban Kirkorov’s clips
What a day, no good news.

I also had a story with "Upyr" (read, it seems, in ninth grade). Shortly thereafter, she was sitting at home in the evening alone at the desk, naturally, at the window, the curtains are stuck, from the lighting - only the desk lamp. The parents are away, the grandmother is at work, quiet, dark. And suddenly right next to my ear, from the side of the window, there is a quiet short whisper. At that time I understood what it meant to shrink from horror, I could neither shrink nor move. Fortunately, after a few seconds, the cat himself came out of the curtain and lay down under the lamp, apparently sitting on the window.

Follow the letter of the law and you won’t get the number of the deadline.

Strange
Ten years later, they decided to gather the school class, all found, only we can't find Leah, went to the army and somewhere there remained, and we with him in the same party-friends, I was instructed to search, all broke up, but found, far in the North, I call, I tell everything, who, where, when, and he asks about Nadjuha, married, not. I myself do not know exactly how I divorced, such a beautiful lady studied with us, I remember trying to take care of the poor, but they had some quarrels, both with character, it should be noted that Lecha was a balamute, an inventor, in general, it didn't work with them.and here Lecha surprised me again:-Tell everyone that I am in the North, in the zone, in the forest, i.e. I can’t show up for that reason, if you’re my friend, swear that you’ll do that. Well, I explained it to everyone - I can't explain Lech, he works in the woods, he happened to me by chance, maybe with anything like this... They gathered in class, hugs, and what it became! and all that... and Nadjuha saw such a lady, I am talking about Leha, and I look at her eyes, she is about to cry, well, I stumbled. Of course, for each one let us drink, remember, and Loha remembered, his jokes, and Nadjuha again burdened, but holds, and sings and dances with everyone, and then this happened! With a clear military step to our table goes a slim naval officer in a white parade shape, a gold drive, a garment, behind him roll a cart with a large cake and a bunch of flowers:
Alexis arrived to celebrate the anniversary! and silence... and in this silence a woman’s voice:
I knew...

At dinner, the daughter announced that she had written a letter to Santa.
She said she asked for a computer, and my mother asked for a nork coat.
Santa was drinking tea.

Discussion of the economic situation at one of the forums:
XXX is normal. But as oil is cheaper - with this trend we will soon take petrol rubles at 15,0!
XXX is logical.
YYY: Logically, it is a logical move to the right...

And one strip! and :)
A broken bucket, exchange it.

I would add two more laws of robotics.

1st A member is not a man.
2nd The owner is not a man.

here here :
Note to those who plan to get married with such people - don't wait for a wedding holiday! Never ever! You will have a lifetime of purpose instead of a holiday, and instead of pleasure - savings.

If you think that the degree of pompeousness of a wedding somehow correlates with the success of family life, then I have bad news for you. It is :)
How does it go? We spent half a million on the wedding, two hundred people, the best restaurant, the longest limousine, the most beautiful dress, the most expensive host - and my husband was a fool and I didn't fit! How is it?!" And run on "They borrowed!" complaints posts sort...

The Master:
– – – – –
Do you eat in the soup not a spoon but a slice? Do you not go to bed and lie down? For you, the word log is the highest example of illiteracy. After all, for you "no word 'lay' in Russian". I was told this in the Russian language lesson, and this is the holy truth. And it does not matter that it is not in the Russian language, but in its literary norms, and it does not matter what the word is, but it is not used without a plug or a reversal suffix, and it does not matter that there is a bunch of derivatives from the word to lie. After all, there is a sacred rule that the words 'put'no.
And the words laying and laying have different semantics. The word lay clearly indicates that the object must lie, the word lay does not have such a meaning and the "layed" object can be placed in the space arbitrarily (laying, standing, rolling).

and...
What an elegant, subtle trolling! I take off and put my hat next to me.

This is:
--------
XXX: Dear, I got bored, I want something new style glamorous, let's go, change your appearance)
XXX: we will change makeup, we will cut you, we will paint you) we will dress you) we will put you on heels) you will look like a pencil) everyone will look at you
YYY: You know, I thought if you don’t like my joke, then I think we should break up.
--------
I only had the impression that the girl would post a dialogue with her Imaginable man?

Why don’t men run after me? I have long breasts and big legs.
She said.

A few grams for a wedding.

<...> a person believes that saving on an event that happens once in a lifetime is the right act,
= the =
First, a person thinks that it is wrong to throw a hundred tons on someone else’s drunkard.
Who said this is once in life?

So it turned out that at the end of school my father gave me a mirror (a rare thing at the time) and I began to shoot weddings first for classmates around the universe, then for their friends, the friends of their friends... I have a camera, I am a photographer.
And since I am a technician with a course of mathematics behind my shoulders, I became interested in analyzing the "success of marriage". The result - in the selection of 78 weddings, 40 divorces / divorces /"in marriage, but only for the sake of children"/"we live separately". So here. According to statistics, the less spent on the wedding (in relation to the salary of the husband), the more stable (longer) the marriage. So there is nothing wrong with a wedding for 200,000 if you have a salary of 100,000. Otherwise I do not advise.
(Statistically, the stability is back proportional to the number of guests at the wedding, but this seems to be a side effect.)

My ex wants to take my children from me in court. And if he does not succeed - to get rid of alimony, because he is unemployed. To do this, two mutually exclusive documents must be submitted to the court: that he works and has a decent income (to give children) and that he is unemployed and without money (to make the amount of alimony minimal).
I look forward to this judgment with such an interest as I was looking forward to the new series of Santa Barbara in the 90s.

An acquaintance working in the Czech Republic said:
Oh, and I burned, we have 120 men and 4 girls, and I went to lunch with 6 colleagues, classical coders. I was frozen, because I didn’t wear clothes, I thought it was warm, it was early October. I asked if you were frozen. Well, I replied, yes, I’m still stupid in the dress, and even without the socks. I looked at 6 pairs of eyes with enthusiasm.I think and what happened? After an hour I approached, more accurately, climbed on the wall of the buchsh, which is Ukrainian and grit that in Czech boots, it is cowards.

Harsh Chelyabinsk women

Dialogue on the Tea:
- I leaned his head to my chest and he immediately calmed down, men are like children.
- Well I understand I leaned to my 4 size, what if I - a board and two nipples?
Friendly laughter
Don’t be upset about every breast has a man.
That is. Do I have two people in the world? What a demand for me :D