bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №103469
 01.10.2014
Baranov, E (Katerina) Banko, Pereperdishchenko are all children’s leaflets.
Here we had Lena Pizzetz at the philfake. And she responded only to the name, principally.
Our poor gentle and tremendous teachers pronounced the sacramental, grinding their faces and sweating with their glasses: "Pizdec, to the board!", "Your work, Pizdec, is just a full em... how would it be softer to say...", "Pizdec is late again!", "And here is Pizdec today!". Moreover, in them, in Pizdecov, for 5 generations only girls were born, to whom the mother's name was maniacally transmitted, not the father's.
And, yes, our Lena became a teacher of junior classes.
So - Pizdec walks around the planet, even children know about it! and c)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103468
 01.10.2014
Only from the internet can you find out about it. I am 25. My friends are about the same age. Anyone who is lonely is no worse than me. External observers simply do not know about it. How do you know that when you touched your friend’s shoulder, her heart was crazy? What from your whispering with a new speech, she’s wet her cloth. That, looking at someone's male figure, she is pleased to imagine how she could stand in front of him on her knees. She can share this with her friends, with strangers - not. You don’t know what happens in the silent waves.

_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Where are you all so desirable? Hang the tape. The pink.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103467
 01.10.2014
<< It is breaking and breaking.
Without skin is born.
The "G" is called.>>

As a Tyumen long-distance driver I will say - shit on the track in -42C

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103466
 01.10.2014
The future pilot.
Try to learn the swarmer. With brains and desire, you will quickly get a good category. Then set up a watchman to the north, corporate food there, outdoor work, salaries with a northern surcharge.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103465
 01.10.2014
I go in the morning in the bus, sleepy, digging in a crawling headphone from which the song of Kish is delivered. In front of me stands a girl aged 12-13 and unexpectedly gives out: “Mature, unshaken, punk unbeaten.” She made my day.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103464
 01.10.2014
The man at night so loudly cries: "Elen, where are you going!", "that even the neighbors wake up.
— — —
and tolerate! You can’t imagine how hard it is to drag when the deer are going in the wrong direction :)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103463
 01.10.2014
We appealed to the company 1C with the offer to enter the following designs in the language (it is a version 6.0):

WHY AND NOT - checking the condition again (the most common glucose of the old 1C)
Continuously - performs by the operator without failures and hangings
From now on, it assigns the value of the variable so that it is actually there. (To assign a variable type, for example, "Manual" value in the language 1C - sometimes a very difficult task, sometimes requiring design from 4 operations)
WHATEVER - displays the text of the report which without this operator is displays once.
Do not sleep – disconnects the internal glucogen generator
I told him that he will follow the team until it is completed.
To have a conscience is to suspend the execution of the command when it hangs.

The company did not listen to our opinion.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №103462
 01.10.2014
18+ about sex shop
I don't remember where the story came from, maybe even read here a long time ago.
There was a boy's birthday and friends decided to joke, bought an artificial vagina for masturbation. But a small whistle was inserted into the drainage hole for air to hunt ducks. The nominee unpacked, but reacted indifferently, everyone cried and continued to celebrate. When the celebration was in the midst, the nominee disappeared somewhere. And here from the bathroom it is: "Choose-Blood-Blood....What for us!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103461
 01.10.2014
Question on the toaster: Now tried to record the image of ubuntu-12.04.4-desktop-amd64.iso
with unetbootin and startup disk creator on ubuntu 14.04.
Why is there a crazy boot on the flash drive and how to fix it?
Can you tell me what I am doing wrong?

Answer: #dd bs=4M if=ubuntu-12.04.4-desktop-amd64.iso of=/dev/sdb

Comment on the answer: Man, it works better than all the utilities that have previously written flashes. You opened up a wonderful new world for me.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103460
 01.10.2014
here here :
I work on a 3/3, and for me the week looks like Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday, Sunday.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103459
 30.09.2014
XXX: Did you send the same resume?? to
YYY: Oga
yyy: I only had a photo in the resume.)
Yyy: How I fuck Semenovich with a machine in my hands
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY That is why I took photoshop skills, ch.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103458
 30.09.2014
Do you know these stupid demotivators with the signature "guess the country from the photo"?
Today I found one where people are pushing the tram.
And you know what? I did not guess, I found out. Not only the country, but also the city. of Irkutsk.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103457
 30.09.2014
The story is now happening - rub all the department. In the morning I had to come a courier from Aitishnikov - to take my laptop for repair. I have prepared everything. Here the courier calls me on the phone, says - I just came, but your guys roughly sent me and the laptop did not give, get there, type. Sometimes the door bells, sometimes it doesn’t ring. I realized that he was calling, but the call just didn’t go and he left with nothing. I tell him – get up again and call more persistently or knock stronger on the door. Three minutes pass, he calls me again on the phone and says in the style – “Are you there at all?”

In short, it turned out: the courier was given the wrong address and he went to the house 4a, and we at 4. Now imagine: he woke up a man there and began to demand a laptop from him. The man ask in confusion, he says, I will not! The courier said – we have agreed! I don’t know anything, I don’t give it and it’s all. The courier fell into a stupor, called me, and I sent him again to the same man, and he went back to pick up his note. I would like to see this picture.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103456
 30.09.2014
The silent mouse has its pros and cons.

Plus: you can play online toys and do not attract attention to yourself with a nasty click.

Minus: the absence of a nasty clicking creates the impression that you are not doing a nihua.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103455
 30.09.2014
How can it be worse in personal life??? Have you amputated both hands?

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103454
 30.09.2014
Announcement of Cyanide
All of us!! We read very carefully. The apartment was empty in a murdered state for 30 years in the apartment lived the owner with 30 yo cats. The smell of cat’s urine is such that you get stuck. surrender for a long time. Consider all decent people willing to live in such a situation. But for themselves, people can improve the condition of the apartment for their money. Just drive customers to smell the apartment is not necessary. Only those whom the smell of urine does not hurt. Look at the photo.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103453
 30.09.2014
The game "Zenga" is very similar to Russia: you have to steal so that everything does not collapse. Well, or it collapsed, but that you are not to blame.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103452
 30.09.2014
They began to write a protocol—and their mother named her surname—and the protocol was written on her. Then I wrote about it in a local newspaper. But nobody has ever understood what it is for L. Melnikov :)
___________________________________________

A funny story happened with my friends, a family couple, the will of fate, carrying the same name - Melnikov. For the last 18 years they have lived in the United States, where it all happened. When buying a new car, they registered it at the dealer center. The dealer enters into his papers the name of his husband - Melnikov, and his wife - Melnikov. For a second, he thought, and asks his husband: "Alex, you are one family, why do you have different surnames?"" A man with a Soviet sense of humor could not tolerate such humour, and said: "You understand, we have a tradition in Russia - when a girl marries, the letter "a" is added to her surname at the end. So if you see someone with two or three "a" at the end - run." All this with an absolutely stone face expression. They formed and fled. The next day, a call from this dealer said, “Alex, I told your story to all my colleagues who are standing next to me now, and they can’t believe you, the Russians, are so clever. Please confirm, plz...". "Yes, it is so." - with the utmost dignity possible said Uncle Sasha, and already, putting the telephone allowed himself to smile in his mouths: "That will still be!"))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103451
 30.09.2014
"Russia-1" in the morning: "The districts will be chosen at the people’s meeting." You, blade, still the evening bell "in the area" hang.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103450
 30.09.2014
Therefore, only mass shootings will save Russia)))))
YYY: It did not help...
Well, it’s like going to the bathroom, if not regularly – it won’t help.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna