bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 146 - ] Comment quote №75267
 03.01.2013
Reporter: In the room the operators hanged a huge plasma. From the emptiness to the clock of silence, the ambassadors from the shift pumped the Blu-ray films with 3D storytelling (well as in theaters, just wear your glasses and watch). Naturally, in the absence of triade points played smart. They found a plastic cover for red and blue brochures, cut out circles from it and carefully inserted it into the anti-gases taken from the alarming suitcases!!! to
The cleaner came to them at 5 o’clock in the morning, saw the ten mords in anti-gas synchronously turned on her, turned and quietly left. It was the 20th, before the end of the world.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №75266
 03.01.2013
My mom got the rights recently, I gave her the navigator for the new year.
She shares her impressions about the new Device:

There’s also Yeltsin’s voice! (He begins to picture)
But I don’t trust him, suddenly, when he gets drunk.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №75265
 03.01.2013
In the life of each of us there are seconds that you want to put in a jewelry box and put on instead of jewelry.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75264
 03.01.2013
My ninth-grade daughter and I live together, and my salary as a small store seller is not enough even for a lot of necessary things. I promised my daughter to buy a laptop immediately after the owner raised my salary, which he promised to do this year.
Going on vacation, the owner left me the keys from the apartment so that I could feed and walk his dog and take care of the puppy. My daughter did this all month.
To my surprise, the owner immediately increased my salary. He laughed and explained why. It turned out that a new phrase appeared in the repertoire of the speaking heacinth eagle:

- Pr-r-r-r-r r-r-r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r
Sometimes he spoke with my daughter’s voice.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №75263
 03.01.2013
While before the supposed end of the world, people were stockpiling light bulbs and candles, I bought only ten packs of toilet paper. I was afraid...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №75262
 03.01.2013
XXX: You think I’m late.
XXX: Let them not drive me out, thin intestine
xxxx: here the plant holds on me
The other half in Scotland.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №75261
 03.01.2013
Sometimes I think "zzz" is the same person.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №75260
 03.01.2013
I am in favor of close communication.
Xenia: How is it?
You and I are alone...
Yuri... Continue...
Alexander: The Skin
Xenia: What is it?
Lots of naked skin.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №75259
 03.01.2013
Cosmin: I used to love her for something, and now I respect her for everything.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75258
 03.01.2013
Monologue of the Girl:
The fourth is running!! to
It’s the third time he’s here, maybe he’s gone missing.
Where is TAPOK?? to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №75257
 03.01.2013
"Perfect technical support"

R: Hello to you!
R: How can I help you?
A: Hello to you. As long as I contacted you, I decided on my own. Sorry for the worry. Thanks for help.
R: All the good!

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75256
 03.01.2013
I decided to put money on the phone balance. when the banknote is pushed into the terminal, the zero continues to appear in the time sum field. Call the Technical Support:
I: Girl, bla bla, that’s the situation.
D: Name the receipt number.
I: the terminal did not give a receipt, he just ate my money and didn’t even cheque!
Q: I understand your problem, but still name the receipt number!

I wanted to kill myself by hitting my head at that terminal.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №75255
 03.01.2013
The Google Answers:
Where can I download Mein Kampf in Russian?
by the author?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №75254
 03.01.2013
Hubert discusses the idea of a paperless office.

XXX is. I learned to write for a long time, although looking at my handwriting, you can say to write I, in general, never knew.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №75253
 03.01.2013
In his youth, I read from B. Shaw that if a fool says he is a fool, he is no longer a fool. The years to the 30s came. I always say that I am a fool. Most people start responding.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №75252
 03.01.2013
I want you = I want you
It would sound nice if I didn't know why you want it :D
ONE: Yes No
Not for sex
I just want warmth.
She: O_O
She: You are scaring me.
He: Okay
I want sex too.)
Now I will recognize you.)

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №75251
 03.01.2013
I have a presentation on physics here.
WOW: with the special slide "you caught hamsters. Take care of"
XXX: This is a shit.
I have a friend in philosophy who managed to print
XHH: on toilet paper
I don't know how, but the prede in the corridor ran out to crack.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №75250
 03.01.2013
XXX thank you... with my work and way of life... I will soon become a fucking thinker....
YYY the guard?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №75249
 03.01.2013
Dear drivers and pedestrians! Go to the private, and find out who, to whom, when and in what position should!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №75248
 03.01.2013
XXX: Yanukovych ordered to publish the Great Ukrainian Encyclopedia. This is BOE. A short version of the encyclopedia will be called "bueshechka".

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna