bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №72006
 24.10.2012
XXX: on Thursday I wait for the installers to connect to the inuit
How about the guests?
XXX: The Evening
Instead of working...
Do you want to tell your grandmother?
Xxx: Grandma, the boys will come to repair the internet. When they are done - proping the default, proping the googl, go to www.ru, if they do not drive, show them the track and tell them that they are ugly? )
YYY: But throw the boys’ faces when their grandmother tells them that the default isn’t pinching?

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №72005
 24.10.2012
The Russian Post is...
But the office at our enterprise first prints emails from the corporate box, then registers them in the journal, puts a stamp with the incoming... And a day later another paper comes to the address...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №72004
 24.10.2012
If a dragon has an erection in flight, he turns around.
YYY: In what way?
The blood was in the body and moved somewhere else. There was an initial, small turn. Because of the displacement of the surfaces, the angle of the wing’s attack changes, the flight is sharply destabilized due to the difficulty of predicting nonlinear and non-state turbulent flows.
Therefore, while flying, dragons try to think of the eternal. That, in turn, became the basis of legends about their wisdom.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №72003
 24.10.2012
I have a few
My favorite films:
1st Where where
Johnny Depp in his hat.
2nd Where Seagal
Everyone gets one.
Three Where at the end
The film shows during
Jackie Chan’s filming.
broke
4 is Where Nicholas Cage is bad
Playing
5 is Chuck Norris is unreal.
cool
6 is Where is Arnold Schwarzenegger
Speak a certain phrase.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №72002
 24.10.2012
The lesson 1.
Learn to cook Chinese cuisine.
Choose a recipe for the dish you liked.
Add 1 head of garlic and replace salt with 500g. Soya sauce
You have learned to cook Chinese dishes, congratulations!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №72001
 24.10.2012
Q: What, are there aquarium heaters without a thermoregulator?
by Aha. The boilers

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №72000
 24.10.2012
About the fast-service restaurant:
Within half an hour, my girlfriend and I both felt a severe stomach upset. They were forced to go home urgently. We ate a sandwich "pork barbecue" + pepsi. be careful. Ruslan from the toilet.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №71999
 24.10.2012
I study with my girlfriend in the office. It happened that we were left for a day without the supervision of the elders.
Well, once such a labyrinth invited the best friend to kill together. While we were waiting for him, Natashka and I started aboutsexual games. What about CHO? The Chamber is empty.
Serega appeared in the right place when Natasha followed me with a healthy enema — she tried to lick.
Well, I’m in the hazard behind Sereg – "Save me! The best friend!"
And he looked so strangely at the cliché and said:
You also know that I am ready to close you from the bullet with the body, but it’s...". and went out.

Natasha and I are stupid.
And only a minute later I remember that he recently had two weeks in the hospital with poisoning. Probably not all that he told me.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №71998
 24.10.2012
AkaTigra: "Ukrpost" fired all the management of the department in Dnipropetrovsk for theft of coft.
3-14: you wait, in a couple of days will write that the Ukrpost has closed this department.
Muravey: and shot all the staff.
AkaTigra: and burned
Headquarters of Dnipropetrovsk.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71997
 24.10.2012
PortalX3: The processor is worn out
Jurassic: Beer, vodka and cigarettes wear off liver and lungs. I did not notice that anyone was stopping it.
Cybertronik: I do not drink, I do not smoke, I do not speed up.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №71996
 24.10.2012
(◕‿‿◕) was renamed to (◐ ‿ ◑)
(◐ ‿ ◑): Well his naffig, it’s your tride

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №71995
 24.10.2012
I am a recruitment specialist at the bank. I keep a different heresy from the summary, I decided to share:
"Computer skills and knowledge: Contact"
I like to observe people and their reactions to various stimuli, often experimenting myself in causing reactions.
I do not smoke, do not drink, do not smoke. I don’t know what humour is."
"Debits of the Company: (Cassor)
Greeting customers, asking customers if the customer has a discount card, offering a package.
"Stripping company in St. Petersburg. Insurance
Position duties and achievements: Pv insuranceproduction product"
"Desired Position: Actor"
"I have been working in the sales sector for three years, where there is no salary! If it’s you, call us "
"I want to be more independent, so work will not hurt"
"Development of projects "The key"
As for personal qualities... Without excessive modesty, I can call myself a responsible and executive man.
Organization of staff work, control of the performance of tasks, work with guests of the restaurant (greeting, planting, farewell...)
"Specialty: Director of Recreation."
"01.2004 - I continue to work, OOO Oriflame Cosmetics - Recruitment and training of staff
Creative work on the search for people-diamonds in the sea of office plankton.
"Key skills: to sell"

by donna.j

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №71994
 23.10.2012
3 hours of night. I translate text for the site about excellent, soft, elastic, elastic mattresses and beautiful pillows "for a good healthy sleep"... Chinese torture((

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №71993
 23.10.2012
From the phone discussion:

xxx: Disadvantages: when recording a video, a red pipe lamp burns and burns you.I shot a fight here so I barely got away from behind this disguising lamp. I run fast.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №71992
 23.10.2012
Give me five guys!
See also: 101
zzz: programmers joke, fuck

[ + 8 - ] Comment quote №71991
 23.10.2012
Today we lie with our loved ones, we talk, we embrace. I’m so cool and like a hint (the girls will understand))
According to statistics, there is anal sex after marriage.
He is smiling:
After anal sex there is a wedding. According to statistics...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №71990
 23.10.2012
xxx: Here you hate people, and I know how you can destroy millions of lives by subjecting them to inquisition)))
Yyy: I will be wrong as an inquisitor))) And how?
xxxx in the fire. ^ ^ ^
Woooow! 😂😂😂 XD is

[ + 37 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71989
 23.10.2012
My neighbor put himself on the beha 5 2000 signal "Madzhik kar", he has a function there is "free hands", it is when you approach the car with a brake from the signal and it itself removes the car from the guard. The guy amator gj[dfcnfnmcz and told about the steep signal to everyone in a row, loved to boast. He lives on the first floor. We parked cars in the yard, caroche yesterday morning his car from the parking lot was dragged to his window, the signal thought that this owner came close to the car and took himself off the guard. What's left of the car is now at the poor under the window.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №71988
 23.10.2012
Roo: I suddenly remembered a girl office manager at my previous job telling me how she used to work as a sommelier. And here they bring her at 9 in the morning for a tasting. And it is like talking a drink in your mouth, encouraging everything there, feeling different things and spit out. And she says, Well, I am poured in an expensive cognac worth a ragged money. How not to swallow it?At 11 in the morning, she was not in one eye.
Such hard work.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №71987
 23.10.2012
D: What do I do, his mother is kidding me that I don’t wear their gifted coat! And I hate shoes, and I don’t bother to get in her on the bus.
N: Give her a shirt with the devil and be offended that she doesn’t wear xD xD

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