bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71806
 20.10.2012
What to buy in the store?
Wife from food?
Wife: take chicken, cream, vegetables
Wife: and a tool for washing toilets
Husband: I will not eat to wash the toilets!
Wife: And with the creampie?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №71805
 20.10.2012
Translation agencies are finally overwhelmed - they need "legitimate translators"... look, shops will begin to recruit "strong loaders", and airports - "sighted dispatchers".

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №71804
 20.10.2012
Around July, I noticed the strange word "slupok" on Twitter. And I think – what does it mean?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71803
 20.10.2012
xxx: We had a cross-shelf poured out of the roof, the net lay.
xxx: I saw our odmin approach him with a cable tester
XX: thinking that no one sees him, shakes his hands in a characteristic posture
xxx: and basically so: "Well what, pre-wet crocodile!"

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №71802
 20.10.2012
On the other hand, orders from the military committee and other similar letters, informing of our duties to the state, the Russian Post delivers in time.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №71801
 20.10.2012
Suslichek
I was in the contact group yesterday.)

Red Fox (08:26:32 19/10/2012)
For what?

Suslichek
In short, there school survey organized, type put their photo and under it the choice of Hogwarts faculties... well I did not choose, wrote PTU )))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №71800
 20.10.2012
I: I throw away the rest of the house payment.
A: What is the rest?
I: Well you left me 10 pieces, and I had to pay 8750
A: Blessed
A: Yesterday I was crazy.
I : why? ?
A: I bought light tickets here, one is worth 1250. In the evening the hyax comes 1250, I thought the ticket was cancelled. Brain Hour 2 Fucked RJD Support
I am :D
and ROFL

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71799
 20.10.2012
Advice on mail
I have experience
NEVER sign up for receipt and in principle do not sign anything without checking the package!
If you have signed up, something is wrong. You cannot make any claims.
You have already confirmed that you have no complaints.
Ask them what they have to tell you.
for example if you signed and opened the package found instead of the iPad - a brick. and all. your problems.
not signing and seeing in the package brick shell them, and demand your iPad or go to court. And they will reimburse both the cost of the iPad and the cost of all legal costs.
Experience is. And not once...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №71798
 20.10.2012
I woke up yesterday and I was sick. I did not go to work.
The next day I woke up and it was okay. But I did not go to work anyway. Is it suddenly shattering?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №71797
 19.10.2012
Customer to the designer: "This image is not suitable for the cover of a book because the person is smiling on it. And the repair shoulder can’t smile!"

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71796
 19.10.2012
Who understands dreams? I dreamt that I go to bed and see a dream in which I go to bed and see a dream, etc. What is this?
YYY: to overfill the stack :/

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71795
 19.10.2012
Today in the book I saw the book "How to Build Relationships" in the Myths / Fairy tales / Legends section.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №71794
 19.10.2012
From the thematic community JJ "It is time to roll":
Is it possible to move to North Korea in some way?
Just don’t go anywhere for a while. Wait not long.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №71793
 19.10.2012
Only a Russian man can come out of the hallway at five in the morning and turn the alarm at six in the morning.
yyy: and then eat, sit in contact and turn it off)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №71792
 19.10.2012
Conversation between (k)lord and (p)occupant
Q: What is the easiest way to trade?
Q: The easiest thing to do is to trade.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71791
 19.10.2012
Patrol the city in the evening to protect the Christian sanctuaries and priests.
What if a non-Christian priest is killed? Or not a priest? What if a Christian priest kills someone? What if two Christian priests fight each other over Christian holy places?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №71790
 19.10.2012
And in general, public opinion says that a Normal Man will make any lesbian a heterosexual.
The normal man is who?
The hero of the folk epic, about whom legends are made, but whom no one has ever seen.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №71789
 19.10.2012
The last single prince of Europe is preparing for a wedding.

Comments: All the girls! The hallucination is over! Only horses remained.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №71788
 19.10.2012
I have a colleague at work, his name is Saney, type... Well, just Balmont is resting.
I am sitting so I can see him right now, close enough. The work is uneven and this time I had a day off, but my colleague smoked the next lines of code as usual. Well, I sit in the UK, repost something, look at the news. I see, Sanya with such a serious look turns away from the monitor, thought, looked out the window, attached his hand to the beard, said "Hm!", still thought. (I see all this, his Hm attracted my attention, I think a man works, something invented!). Then he turns sharply to the monitor, takes the mouse and I get a message: "Sane liked your record". I haven’t been so happy with my puppy yet. :D

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №71787
 19.10.2012
Lev: What, did you get into your photo center?
Croft: Well bullets... Almost fired! and :-)
The Lev :?? to
The first day of training is short! There 2 girls have been working for a long time, photographing people on documents... started pumping me... showing everything, explaining! I get 20 lbs and the opportunity to accept orders from customers! My first client, a man like that... Well, a man like that... Pelmen is short: can you grit on the passport? I grum: "Yes, go to the studio, have fun, that the girls will serve you!!and "
I’ll have to come to you tomorrow too! and :-)
Croft: Mostly I didn’t immediately find out what I cried out! Followed only after mass hysteria of all staff and visitors!
Croft: The chef stood by, the tea drank! This answer shrugged my hand. “But the girls I look at don’t really want to work with me! and :-)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna