bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71086
 06.10.2012
X: I walk without a clock and I don’t go.
Y: What are you proud of? Sho in winter - you take off your gloves, open your bag, look there for a long time in the mobile phone, turn off the lock, look at the time, put the mobile phone back in the mess, close the bag, put on the gloves and ask yourself the question, the jump was written there?and "

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №71085
 06.10.2012
Cadabra, discussion of the magnet that saves fuel
Thaw
I took three, and you won't believe, the car started to produce gasoline, and not simple, and 102 sports, if you drive at 7 thousand turns at least 5 kilometers, the tank begins to spill, know only collect in a barrel. The dynamic has improved three times!!! And the expenditure fell, now I drive on a Porsche 9ff quota for three bodies, and it is on the front drive!!! I advise everyone, you won't guess, a great thing, before this oil had to change every 7 thousand km, now I drive forty and no problems!!! The icons on the panel began to melt, the liver stopped sick, and the cousin stopped drinking, the potency improved, peace and peace came into the family, the son is studying for five, I advise everyone!!!!!!! to

He1ix
Buy a hairdresser and a hairdresser. The veil on the seats will start to grow and the spikes will begin to lengthen on the winter rubber, you will have to fight this. Infa is 146%!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №71084
 06.10.2012
News: The police-drug trafficker seized a sword, a sword and a castet.
The comments:
What is the sword for?! to
He is no longer Sir.
zzz: a sword, a sword, a cast... is he an orc?
Aaa: He managed to get rid of his armor and helmet.
bbb: "Thousands of thousands"

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №71083
 06.10.2012
Montag1976: Translation of a famous joke: The wife said that to the mistress. The mistress said to his wife. And for the computer and in the tanks!!))

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71082
 05.10.2012
What is "Teacher" It is not the one who teaches anything, but the one who encourages the student to reveal the best that is in him, in order to reveal what he already knows.
by Paulo Coelho

Happy Teacher's Day fellow teachers! Patience to you, curious students, adequate parents and constant increase in salary! and :)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №71081
 05.10.2012
Announcement on the German car house:
I am in broken English:
Hev yuv sold zis kar yie? from zere enni problems ebaut eye
The answer:
Be calm, I speak Russian.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71080
 05.10.2012
I went to the restaurant and looked at my hands.
My mom said to me:
On a first date manicure.
The second epilepsy.
I confused everything.

[ + 28 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71079
 05.10.2012
Scientists have concluded that castrated men can live 20 years longer than those with reproductive organs in place. This is due to their lack of male sex hormones, in particular testosterone. This is why women live longer.

Who is for immortality?

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71078
 05.10.2012
The strange feeling disturbs me.
I would call it, mmm...
The Hard Sense of the Approaching Apocalypse
XXX: or abbreviated... well you understood

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №71077
 05.10.2012
We split up with her.I’m, frankly, tired of this relationship.
WOW: Idiot, who else besides her, after sex will agree to look for errors in your code?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №71076
 05.10.2012
From the F1 2012 game discussion:
AAA: Can you tuning a car here?
BBB in Formula 1?
AAA: What is Formula 1? Is it chemistry?
CCC: Which galaxy are you from?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №71075
 05.10.2012
You know, we need to go to the movie with you, for the last line.
Yeah... why?
It’s better, popcorn is better.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №71074
 05.10.2012
I go to lunch, I don’t touch anyone.
The Phone:
You are calling from SkyNet.
And right before the eyes of John Connor, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the destruction of mankind...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №71073
 05.10.2012
I’d tell you what’s going on in the world, but you don’t like fantasy.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №71072
 05.10.2012
It’s amazing how quickly people change interests. It seemed like yesterday I dreamed of a dog, and today I want to fly away from this fucking planet.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71071
 05.10.2012
If I suddenly fall into the 11th century AD. A thousand years ago, how do we survive? And where is it better to go if you can choose coordinates?
yyy: Go to the Commander Islands, to the Stellar Cows.
Yyy: Cows are dumb, they have no natural enemies, there seem to be no people on these islands either at the time.
Yyy: You will feed cows and live in total safety.
What about the Aunt?
So are the cows!
VVD: There are cows.

//useless-faq@lj

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71070
 05.10.2012
xxx: "Gorchoček kaši" was the world's first fairy tale about a system administrator and stupid users

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №71069
 05.10.2012
xxx: spider, dick, dick
xxx: I just witnessed a huge fly hit him in a cable and he drank it.
Good to have eaten before this spectacle.
YYY: Would you join me?

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71068
 05.10.2012
The news:
Turkey has declared that it does not want a war with Syria, but has resumed the shelling of Syrian territory.

[ + 23 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71067
 05.10.2012
ah, by the way, I was amused here at lunch)))))))) call from the uswires - "come to us urgently, we need to restart the CARTRIDGE"... I first for a couple of seconds, then started to roast like a horse... after half a minute, a little calmed up, I ask - "what do you need to restart?", the girl no longer responds with such a confident voice - "well, the catrice, on the printer, we have the printer does not sing, and the message all the time appears that we would overload it, we called the person who drives us the catrice, he said that they would call me as soon as I stopped drawing on the printer he restarted the cartridge";; I am starting to rust again. I say - "happily I'll come," I come to them, I watch a picture - an old killed printer, it is sometimes swallowed, and it gives information about the blurry of the paper (the contact is lost on the cover, and an error is issued), a little bit of contact, as if everything was normal. Leaving, he put them a refuelled cartridge and changed the encoding in the program to Chinese. I come, I sit behind the comp, I wait for the call. I take the phone, of course I complain about the printing of crocodiles. I in response - it's to the guy that the catrigi is in charge, he's sleeping you a Chinese toner, here's the printing of all the shit, tell him what he would have filled with a Russian toner. Now I’m waiting for the guy who is running the toner to call me.

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