bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №73086
 17.11.2012
MuToGeN: I’ll give him a spat. He does not get along without a shoulder with a beautiful floor.
The NFL:
MuToGeN: Sometimes we whiped with acquaintances. He dropped with the words "I’ll go looking for the crazy, I’ll come back soon". He returned after half an hour with a broken rod and fell asleep.
MuToGeN: In the morning it turned out that he was trying to climb through the fence of a local cemetery and successfully got a puzzle from a guard. And to find women in the cemetery needs a spade, he does not have it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №73085
 17.11.2012
What will you do when the end of the world comes?
We are in Russia. He will not come here. He will come out of here.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №73084
 17.11.2012
[21:43:17] Do you know who you are?
[21:43:21] [Oleg]: You are a fool!
[21:43:28][Oleg]: The slowest of all the slopes :)
[21:43:36] [Rom] Well who is it?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №73083
 17.11.2012
told me.

In the family where there was already a pre-school son, a second boy was born. A few days after the baby appeared at home, they accidentally watched this scene:
The oldest brother quietly approached the little boy. He looked at him for a long time, then breathed and said, “Oh, dear man! You are just writing and chatting."


[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73082
 17.11.2012
Mikhail: I am issuing a patent for my program, so among a bunch of paper forms that need to be submitted to the Rospatent window (working on certain days of the week), you need to provide a full listing of the program code - (!Printed, stamped with a spade and certified with a signature.
Attention - the hole can not make holes for sewing, only sewing, only hardcore!
The State Service? The ECP? The 21st century? No, I have not heard.

[ + 47 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73081
 17.11.2012
As soon as children begin to live apart from their parents and on their own money, they begin to realize that they are not the smartest, and their parents are not the stupidest.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73080
 17.11.2012
“If you can’t push your intelligence, I’ll push you a lot,” my girlfriend said, picking up the cake.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №73079
 17.11.2012
I bought, so winter shoes are muddy, they have a battery for heating in case of anything. Included with bots USB port for charging from the computer. I come home to sweat, I go into my room with my father, and on the machine I say, say, release the computer, I need to charge my shoes. You would see his eyes.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №73078
 17.11.2012
XX: Well, I was at home for the first time. There was a friend’s birthday, everyone was upset, everyone was scattered around the apartment... In my room I was my friend whose birthday and best friend... And it turned out that my girlfriend and I had sex right with a friend. Truth he did not see, he played in CS) I was then 15 and she too, but she was not a virgin... We met her in 30 minutes))))) The main thing is that no one even knew about it that day)))

XY: Your friend is a real warrior

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №73077
 17.11.2012
I sit with a friend at the last sunset. Bella is already a vampire and is passionate about eating. He sat behind a tree and waited. In the picture appears an elephant that will be eaten. Here is a complaint from the room:
“Run out, Bambi, run away!”! to

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №73076
 17.11.2012
Average per capita income.
How to create a family? I barely feed my cat.)
Create a cat.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73075
 17.11.2012
xxx: I have a lot of unmarried girls in my office, who are far over 30, do not smoke, do not drink deliciously and cook well, but with personal life no way.
YYY: I smoke
YYY: but you can give a slide and get rid of it :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №73074
 17.11.2012
To hurt is always to push your back on the doors of the pharmacy business.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73073
 17.11.2012
Know the Ours!
"Lada Kalina sales in Germany in October of this month amounted to three units.
The same figure ended the month with Aston Marin DB9, Cadillac CTS and Lamborghini Aventador. This is by Auto Motor und Sport.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73072
 17.11.2012
The weekend only ends with money.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73071
 17.11.2012
Cats have a high level of intelligence. They can even identify causal relationships. For example, always come to the kitchen for the smell of turmeric onions. It is estimated that in 90% of cases, fresh meat will now come from the refrigerator.
And today I divided my two-walk in full. I come from work — he jumps out into the hallway all stretched and shows all his appearance that he wants to play. And the game we usually play is this: the first pretends to catch the second, the second is very scared and runs away. The first is in the assembly. Everyone has their own seats according to the dimensions. I have a bathroom, toilet, kitchen, corner of the corridor. The cat - behind the sofas, under the sofas, under the cushion, under the bookcase. Then the frightened goes out to see if the threat has disappeared. The attacker jumped out of the assembly. Everything is new.
Today I am a bandit, a cat for a victim. The cat is on the couch, I am in the bathroom. I wait for him, I wait for him to go looking for me... and I hear that he is delighted, with a squeezing of the new couch in the room, for which he usually strikes strongly. A few seconds before I managed to catch up, he was enough to disappear.
And here it came to me. This gentleman originally wanted to break the couch while no one was there, and here I am in the door. And in his puffy head easily and relentlessly developed an elegant combination, how to eliminate the annoying interference, do what you want and not get a hustle for it.
and my applause.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73070
 17.11.2012
I made my daughter a Halloween costume. Hanged earlier in the children's room on the wall a phosphorescent skeleton of one and a half meters of individual flat pieces, then he was bored by the children, abandoned. I decided to weave these bones on the daughter's black costume for dancing - it will be Kashya. I found the skeleton, washed it, and left it in the bathroom.
Sanchez is combined. In the morning, the husband went to the toilet, the children mocked him - the outside turned off the light. has gone out. I ask :
What, did he go?
and AGA. Two times. The second was when I got up for paper and saw THIS in the bathroom.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73069
 17.11.2012
aglomit: fucking, here two linuxoids argue for an hour how correctly pronounced - linux or linux. Who knows how to beat each other?
Dieball: linux
Tagged: linux
CoopRoom: Linux
Aglomit: I’m probably in vain, right?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73068
 17.11.2012
And he wrote:
I want to sleep like a flock of angry sleeping beauties.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №73067
 17.11.2012
She: You behave like a five-year-old child!! to
It is not the truth!! Can a five-year-old say DEXOXYBRIBONUCLEIN? 😉

c) Shuma

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna