Preface: I have a tachycardia attack, it strikes hard. But here I wanted to smoke, I go out to the entrance, the mother in the doorstep shouts: "What to smoke in this state?! Buy yourself a nicotine patch!", and in a second "And swear it to your mouth!"

xxx: Yes, I have a passport, a passport, three dresses, shoes, cosmetics, a laptop, a camera, a jacket, hangers, "War and Peace"... Suddenly they will call to Italy, and there will be no time to gather.

XXX: Is there a new one?
YYY: Just get stuck! =))) I got stuck today at the very least... =)))
YYY: Listen to me briefly!
yyy: I've been dating Katka for a month, it's all fine)) Today when I was having sex I almost called her Olya (the name of the former), and my brain realized that something was not in the subject, only by pronouncing the slogan "OL", and the first thing that immediately came to my mind to finish the word with the slogan "EG"... Sex was interrupted, because Katya was confused and asked for explanations that Oleg was still behind...
yyy: I’m in full car, I don’t know what to answer to her... Gathering with thoughts I say that this is my cousin))))) She, naturally, begins to chase me that I’m a pedic perverse))))
yyy: Well I reassure her, I say that I accidentally remembered that he invited us with her yesterday to him on his birthday tomorrow, and I didn't buy subraok and so accidentally broke out his name))))
yyy: In the end, it seemed to have been destroyed, but now you need to find something about Oleg, who has a snail tomorrow and ask him for a visit, first warning him that he is my cousin))))
You are XDDDDDD

comment under the demotivator with the image of a girl (?) With small breasts:
"Huli breasts, it’s not a problem now. I added my 35 thousand rubles and she wrapped French implants. When a few months later, the breast could already be melted, she fell to some hose. I think it is a very good investment! Probably also the mattress on which the chicken was fucking, I will also re-form it, so I’m happy!"

News on Gazete.ru
In the UK, it will be possible to get married 24 hours a day.

The first comment:
A great idea!! In the morning, many men are sober and regret what they said at night.

In a very long discussion in one forum:
Are you tired of crawling?

xy: Twitter censorship, YouTube shut down, Kurt will play Pattison, restriction on concerts and discs, a new album by Joloud. Maya was right. The end is near.
Will Kurt play Pattison?! to
Xy : Aha
I will go and shoot myself.
No, let Pattinson be shot.

Comment on the game Duck Hunt based on the game Dandy for Android:

nickel23 ( Today, 22:40 ) »

I hope you can shoot this dog here??? Ten years ago, I only dreamed of that.

Real gynecological history (well at least, the record is real) on the form of the Russian-Israeli clinic:
Sexual life (from what age) - sexual life is denied
Pregnancy – 5
Birth - 2
Abortions - 1, s / v -2

However.

Introduction: Our relationship with our wife began without a candy-flower period - immediately after the first night and continues to this day.
A seven-year-old son once asked when I fell in love with his mother. I couldn’t answer, my wife came to help.
Well, it started, it lasted, it lasted, it lasted and suddenly - once! And everything is well...

The fact that I’m a programmer doesn’t mean I know why you don’t run Word.

During the whole film, Dred never removed a helmet... Anyway, Bezrukov played it!

I found a way to disable VKontakte advertising without any AdBlocker: I removed a friend's dofig, leaving 20 people... Now instead of advertising, the eggs of the removed look at me with silent reproach.

hebetat (15:02:52 30/09/2012)
I have a familiar advertiser. We recently met. He has three cats and two cats. They pick up and take care of them from the street. So they split up from him and reproduced so that he now speaks for the sake of their total weight and not the number)))

Television kills love, the internet kills sex.

The acquaintance removed an apartment in the ordinary altitude on the outskirts. There was a rookie aunt working there. Capturing several sections at once, she exemplaryly and with impressive power waved with a butt, then a spade, playing to move the garbage tanks and, it must be admitted, kept the courtyard in envious purity.
And my acquaintance was scattered and, like many intelligent people, completely innocent in his hometown. That is, the paper clearly flew in the direction of the urn, but almost never got into it. And then one day he went out to smoke on the balcony, thought about the eternal, and automatically threw the hose down. Six in the morning. It shines. the countryside. Silence, rare cars and no human signs.
A few minutes later, a bell ringed at the door. Surprised the chicken opened the door and stumbled by a huge dark figure. The figure humorously said, “Good morning,” and stretched a fresh bowl in a clean plastic bag. A friend timidly took a bag and shouted, “Thank you...”
"Next time - without a bag and in the ass," said the figure and went on his business.

Do I understand correctly that Muslims are burning embassies in protest against a movie that says they are burning embassies?

A minute before death is a good.
YYY: Have you tried or did?
ZZZ: It looks like it’s alive, so I didn’t really try it! and :-)

Interview on an anonymous website
1 – Anonymous
2 – My acquaintance

How do you feel about anal sex?
2: positive, but only if it happens between two men, and I am the operator :)
1 ended the conversation

I saw a picture of Jackie Chan with his son.
The first thought: "like"
The second thought: "I would not have been like, they are Chinese".