bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №60846
 03.03.2012
aaa: How will there be in English "Cruel Horse"?
BBB: Hromaya Loshad...
ccc: The Hromaya Loshad...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №60845
 03.03.2012
XX: It just sounds somewhat ambiguous.
xx: "I am going to fuck, who do I bring?"

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №60844
 03.03.2012
Our uncle's daughter was born, brother (B) tells about this to his girlfriend (P) (both graduate from school). There is dialogue:
B: I have a cousin born yesterday, Masha)))
A boy or a girl?

I recommend answering "Yes")

[ + 36 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60843
 03.03.2012
The question to the experts of zoopsychology, - well, and trolls, is:
Why, fucking, cat doesn’t go when at least one inner door is locked?! to

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №60842
 03.03.2012
Did you receive such a compliment today, positive or not?
Solve the task. We discuss collectively, there don’t know what they invented, stechiometry, pressure taken into account, argue, reactions write, again argue, overwhelmed half of the knowledge from organics and all from engineering... The teacher sits in a stupor and says at the end - for the first time I meet such smart students, a task solved in two actions, two pages are scheduled.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №60841
 03.03.2012
I only lived with you for 10 years because of sex.
Wife: She has risen
Later, I realized that you are a good person.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №60840
 03.03.2012
moved to a new apartment. There are 45 studio apartments. Gives one man. Immediately started scanning for the presence of open files. I found. 1 the computer. The girl (judging by the wedding photos) and the printer. Added the printer... printed her at 2 o’clock at night:

"Good night to you!! to

P.S I am watching you!!! to
P.S to P.S With love, the printer=)"

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №60839
 03.03.2012
Ruslan
If you have a team like this :)
Joey Jordison of Slipnot the sharpest drummer) in the Dragon Force two fastest electric guitarists) in addition to take the most technical bassist Fly from Red Hot Chili or from Metallica and the fastest keyboard again from the Dragons) imagine what a bomb will be;))))))

Marseille is
and ah. Solist to take a lover of speakers, and then in 40 minutes of the concert will be played 30 songs.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №60838
 03.03.2012
...Now, as you say, in general, I am a fucking friend, not a friendly fucking...

s s.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60837
 03.03.2012
Today in the subway at the peak hour did not work one of the escalators.
A grandmother got up on the first step and stood for a long time.
XXX: It was passed by by a huge number of people, but it stood like a pillar, thinking it was going up.
XXX: I have never seen such unstoppability and invisibility of the obvious.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №60836
 03.03.2012
I lie with my husband, look at the melodrama and the mood of such a romantic embrace me... I will take his hand, kiss.
My hand smells so pleasant...
He (no matter): the ear, it is a flavored toilet paper...
Is this how you guys manage to ruin it all?and (

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №60835
 03.03.2012
Something in the world has changed.
I stand in the "Close", next to a couple: A young man, very hipsterly outward and a girl, very Slavic appearance.
Look at the red headphones.
She after 5 seconds of hateful look: You hit me with your headphones, with your eggs and a gay stylist!!! We need to pay the mortgage. Looked at? All went home.

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60834
 03.03.2012
At 10 I dreamed of becoming an astronaut, at 15 a rock star, and at 20 a businessman. I’m 25 and I dream of becoming a pony.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №60833
 03.03.2012
New service “Which Hue?from the private bank. Connects to all customers without notice.

[ + 52 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60832
 03.03.2012
Sometimes I miss you... But then I remember all the shit that happened because of your fault and I think "Well, go you naked!"

[ + 54 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №60831
 03.03.2012
bartezoo (16:16:21 2/03/2012)
the first)

bartezoo (16:16:35 2/03/2012)
Do you remember saying that you have a fucking claw?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №60830
 03.03.2012
by Peter. In the arch of the house, located next to the Mariinsky Theatre, a careful inscription with a fat marker: "Tolerate!!! Toilet - in the Nicholas Garden, 200m", and a shooter.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №60829
 03.03.2012
This is the Day of Unity, this great day. The [...]
Tomorrow is the day of the annual election of the Benefactor. Tomorrow we are again
We will give the Benefactor the keys to the unshakable firmament of our happiness.
Of course, this is not like disorderly, unorganized elections.
ancient times, when - it is ridiculous to say - even the unknown was
Results of elections. The [...]
Is it necessary to say that here and here, as in everything, for none
There is no chance, there can be no surprise."
Evgeny Zamyatin, "We", 1920

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №60828
 03.03.2012
Intuition is what is transmitted from the lower hemispheres to the upper through the spinal cord.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №60827
 03.03.2012
Another school meeting. This time in the 1st class. The mother of one boy in an aggressive form was outraged by the fact that teachers offended her son. The teacher of singing expelled from the lesson, made a note in the diary, and when the child wandering around the school in the school time was taken to the cabinet of the student and he told about what happened, he made a pretext and there. The man said, “Well, I just said the truth,” and he cried. When he was released for the next lesson, he went home, walking the rest of the school day. The prehistory is like that. At the singing class, the children taught a harmless children's song about the wedding of a hunter and a rabbit. At some point, the boy raised his hand, stood up and said, “How will they get coupled? Interstitial intersection is impossible. The rabbit and the deer have a different set of chromosomes..." The red-colored teacher made a record in the diary of bad behavior, called the sick and perverted, expelled from the class. He just said the truth. His parents, I know, live in our entrance. My father is a surgeon and my mother is also involved in medicine.

His had to explain in an accessible form the meaning of the sentences he heard, or else he would grumble somewhere in stupidity.

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