noted the undocumented function of the ventilator, driving air through the apartment. If you turn it on even at average power, then mosquitoes have serious difficulties with landing.

If you spit me in the back, I’m in front of you.
If you’re in the back, you’re ahead too.

xxh: Tomorrow I will introduce a new secretary, I think like explaining that the boss has three standard answers that he writes on the documents: ''+1'' - approval, '' rabbit' - neutral attitude to read, '' door' - disapproval.
+1 is clear, what about the rest? The encryption?
The rest are abbreviations from his favorite expressions ''use as a rabbit from viagra'' and '' it needs us like the fuck door''

xxx: and in general, during the divorce and the division of property, my wife reminded me of that Indian from an anecdote who, taking off the scalp of a pale face, pleasantly asked "Highs straight or steep to do?"...

XXX: Three weeks ago, I decided to throw away my old printer. He put it in a bag, threw his old (broken into the mud, dirty, stinking) shoes there and put this set near the rubbish pipeline. The shoes were stolen the first day. I found out today that the package was sprinkled. The printer, go on!

Someone asked a friend to drive a compass to pursue. To himself, and his wife expressed the desire to ride a compass. My friend, we are going! They sat down to him in the car (Kruzak - "hundred"), came, took the wheel. We move back. And I look at the pen of the front passenger, and I understand that the steering wheel on that pen will be remarkably fixed. I pick it up from the back seat and hold it. It looks like a car with two wheels. The windows are open, there is something ‘good’ like Rammstein, the elbows of the windows are shaking and we are driving in two wheels... The man at the crossroads forgot to touch the green light... So he sat with his mouth open until he was alerted from behind. We walked into the courtyard, the man at the entrance was drinking beer. He was so squeezed that the foam went out of his nose :)

I walk in the street today, I don’t touch anyone. In front of me is a bus with an electronic dashboard "on the forehead", there usually write the route. And it was written on the board with beautiful orange letters: "Wodka is there?"

If you work in a collective farm as a simple tractorist and at the same time earn millions of rubles, then you live in Belarus.

G.F. nothing so makes you think about the desirability of crossing the road in the wrong place, like a lonely shoe standing on the dividing strip.

X: It worked well on the photo for the passport)))
W: So is it O-O?
X: Of course no) Photo not accepted, sent to rework)

Don’t think anymore:

I went here early in the morning in the bus and thought: what drivers of buses, trolley buses, etc. Going to work and from work?

If you don’t have a car, then on the bus. Only in divorce. The robbers come to night transportation on normal transportation. They leave in the morning as usual. With respect, the bus driver’s wife.

My father is a shit!!! to
YYY : Why?
xxx: I play a line on a pirate server and there you can change the password from the account, I was not especially obsessed with inventing the password and it is the same everywhere... So it turned out that the father knows it.
YYY: And what?
xxx: And that he in my eyes put my Persian on removal, said that I have exactly a week to close all the debts in the institute and left... All my attempts to enter failed T_T
YYY: YYY x)
XXX: Here I sit, Zebra... T_T

Jax: Translation from Sophia
Glad it wasn’t from Vladimir :D

My sister is working in Zhao. I recently told a case. Two young green parents - aged 18-20 from force - came to register a newborn daughter. When the name was named, the sister thought that she heard: JESSICA, the surname is Goltyapina. The poor child...

On the website "kill me please", among the endless stream of boring cockroaches, I found this:
I’m 28, I’m hungry, I drink every day, I smoke, I fuck.
I owe nothing to anyone! I am so fucking happy!!

I was at the dentist. All in order. After another drill, she issued the phrase:
Natasha, black material and a lighter.
In the brain came images of Secret Materials, implants, etc.
In my rounded eyes she calmed me:
In another cabinet use a gun to supply water. And the phrase "Ira, give a gun" scares patients a little.

In Moscow there is a gun that never fired, a bell that never ringed. Let us erect a monument to democracy that does not exist and never existed!

Ramsanka of holes demands to assign the title of the city of "Great Military Glory"... it is the p**ets of comrades... for what? For the fact that the whole republic was accompanied by the fascists, and for this they were deported to Kazakhstan. Or for 1-2 companies? Don’t give you a reward? I am sending a ray of diarrhea.

I slept with a girl today. I woke up before her, and decided not to wake up. Eventually, she lost her stop.

Humans and bananas have 50% identical DNA
XXX: The Lord! I am half a banana!! to
YYY: We have even more coincidences with rice.
XXX is AAAA!! to
I am fucking a salad!! to