bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63126
 20.04.2012
Discussing an honest photo
I see the breasts of Monica Bellucci.
yyy: Tractor, ducks, chicken, shell roof, boxes, wooden board-seat on the frame, luggage room not even on the big, orange tank, apples... I am careful!
zzz: Shiffer on the shell shell, third hose. The tractor battery has flowed, the chicken has a congenital dislocation of the left leg.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №63125
 20.04.2012
Lav: We played Minecraft four – I, Sul, Lena and Nadia
Let’s go fuck with the mobs.
Lav: Everyone has died, and Nadika has won all the mobs, gathered our anger and...
LAV: Stabbed into the lava
That’s why hope dies last.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №63124
 20.04.2012
The fucking teacher of me.
In the lesson, we look at pictures from my collection on the projector,
accidentally comes out a picture with breasts, seven-class students are hysterical...
I’ve found something to be surprised, each of you sucked it in your childhood!”

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №63123
 20.04.2012
XXX: I am scattered
YYY: And you came here to complain about it?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №63122
 20.04.2012
What is the guarantee that tomorrow will not be better?? to

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63121
 20.04.2012
In the theatre, as a rule, the texts that can be read, the actors do not teach by the mouth, but simply read from the sheet. I did not remember what the spectacle was, but the point is that in the course of the stage, a man runs into the scene and passes a letter to the king with the words:
Your Majesty, a letter to you!
The King unfolds the scroll and... Oh, horror, there is no text (colleagues joke). But he was an experienced artist and, returning the scroll to the racer, says:
Read the race!
The artist who plays the role of a gunner, too, was not a lick of sheets, returns a letter to the king:
You are not literate, Your Majesty!

[ + 31 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63120
 20.04.2012
I came home with a note on the table: “I’m okay, I’m at my grandmother.” I sit here and think, husband or son.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №63119
 20.04.2012
RT @Selfish_Muse
What is the name of the coffee we drink? Oh yeah Cunnilingus? by Kamasutra?
and Katya! His name is Sumatra. It is :)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №63118
 20.04.2012
from ZH:
Today, a guy suddenly enters the office with a bold and determined face.
and immediately:
How to talk to the management?
The management of the business, what are you talking about?
- I am from criminal investigation, - shows the certificate. Give your boss’s mobile.
I called the boss and gave him a mobile number. He went out into the yard, held talks there for a while, so that we didn’t hear.
Everyone has a point to zero, everyone recalls convulsively - who crossed the street on the red light, who accidentally struck the passing person and did not notice if there are few cases...
He returns satisfied. It turned out that we had a sample calendar hanging on the wall, where a photo of his daughter got. He wanted to buy it.
The calendar was given to him.
It remains unclear why during the visit the courtyard was not blocked by OMON, and a pair of gas grenades did not fly into the windows.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №63117
 20.04.2012
XH: So, explain why you lied to me???! to
WOW: to be honest?
XXX: No, it is crazy!! Shut up again!!! to

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №63116
 20.04.2012
Today, I jumped on the weights until the shooter stumbled at 56 kilograms.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №63115
 20.04.2012
My friend is sitting and watching youtuber. And suddenly as he screams - "Blaat!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Just as she can!!!A man immediately escaped to his screen. And it was he, it turned out, found a play/stop button on the headphones.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №63114
 20.04.2012
I: I don’t have anything to wear...Summer came suddenly...
husband: you, pl, like the government of Russia, for you any season is a big surprise :))))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №63113
 20.04.2012
Hello, I bought a car!! Congratulations to Grant!
He says: I congratulate you. Now I will call you a monkey with a grant.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №63112
 20.04.2012
Prehistory: the boss gave an iPad, after a while comes a message...

and colleagues,
In connection with the fact that on the iPad, the sequence of Excel file sheets is set from right to left and when opened on the iPad, the extreme left sheet is displayed (regardless of which of the sheets was last saved), the department moves to the numbering of sheets in the formable referrals from right to left. Example: if previously in the OJL certificate (Excel file) the sheets were numbered by dates 01.04, 02.04, 03,04....30.04, then now the numbering of the sheets will look like this: 30.04, 29.04, 28.04....01.04.
It is recommended to use this order of sheet numbering for Excel files sent to the Company management (approved by the Director).

I love my country and the people living in it.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №63111
 20.04.2012
How brutal you are.
You call your girlfriend a woman :)
YY: That’s the little thing I can be sure of in this life.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63110
 20.04.2012
In comments on YouTube:
Dear members of MTS, Beeline, Megaphone, Tele2. No please dismiss your employees. Better kill them immediately, or they hit your spam.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №63109
 20.04.2012
I sit now, I have a stand behind my back with the keys from the base stations of the bilayne, MST.
Here the comrade proposes: "Let's open a chain of hotels, let's go overnight for 100 rubles, there is heat, ventilation."
He is opposed: "There is a technical air, there is little oxygen, copytes are thrown away."
Here is the third vote: "then we take the advance payment..."

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63108
 20.04.2012
My daughter and I are in the elevator. A neighbor goes with us. Her daughter builds her eyes, then tells her what her name is. The neighbor smiles quietly. We arrive, get out of the elevator, the neighbor says goodbye, and the daughter reacts: "Oh! She can also speak!"

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63107
 20.04.2012
Today, the institute discussed the original way of offering the hand and heart – the ring, which is inside the “child-surprise.” The Single Group:
-I imagine: the girl gives you 'Kinder', you open it, you eat, you open the container, you look at the ring and you scream of shock 'Where is Behemothic?'

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