bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №62786
 13.04.2012
From a telephone conversation:
“Antoch, you have a tail of some stupid...
M is? Where did you find him?
In the garden, to the right, at the wall.
Mishana, this is a column!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №62785
 13.04.2012
Bogatyr: The Proverb is Right
If a man is strong
He wants, it is necessary.
“I found out yesterday,
Never managed to run to
and sort.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №62784
 13.04.2012
Discuss the Japanese protective film, on which scratches and scratches disappear themselves.
MaxBaron888: the Japanese again
Rodium: Well, they don’t have fragments, nanocubies, projects for the development of the nation. The axes and other webcams are scattered, so you have to spend money on real nanotechnology.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №62783
 13.04.2012
Q: Why do everyone react like this? If a girl is married and has a child, then can not kiss?
See also: EM Find out where the error is.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №62782
 13.04.2012
xxx: When I picked up the car, the manager was ready to wash out his mother only if I could buy the car, but at the first warranty treatment they talked to me as if I had a huge piece of shit on my shoes.
This is your homeland, son.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №62781
 13.04.2012
Have you read the book The Adventures of Sasha Grey?
I watched the screenshot :D

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №62780
 13.04.2012
In Egypt, my son is 5 years old.
They’re all in English, we’re all normal.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №62779
 13.04.2012
And only recently I understood why we didn’t get along...

I’m an accountant and he’s Sisadmin.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62778
 13.04.2012
Workers of the Sberbank, the Russian Post, the clinic and the pension fund of the Russian Federation gathered to change their passports.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №62777
 13.04.2012
You know what the name is ""?
and mm?
xxx: Well, by phone, for example, how would you explain that you need to press the "\" button?
Tagged: sleepless
YYY: The reverse slash
Few people know which one is reverse and which one is not.
XXX: This is how we got caught.
XXX: The Pioneer Sleeve!! to
XXX is 😉

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62776
 13.04.2012
In the bathroom, after...km... procedures I stand and, blissfully crushing, dry my hands.... relaxed such.... And here the sound of such "pшык" and in the same second I in my mouth a stream of suffocating portion of the smell refresher on!!!! Well, what idiot from the hospital department came to the idea of putting an automatic smell on the hand dryer, which is at the level of the face? My eyes are still tearing and shaking...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №62775
 13.04.2012
University of Finland (Finacademie) There is an advertisement near the elevator:
"Sold very spacious and comfortable cabinet in good condition....bla-bla"
Two consecutive inscriptions with a pen:
- "How much is the capacity on a 10-point scale?"
- "Three adult bodies and two child bodies are quietly placed))))"

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №62774
 13.04.2012
HH: Shortly, that yesterday Sam performed
I told him the day before – let’s be friends, I don’t want a relationship.
I stand with my mom at the box office in the supermarket.
Oh, my best friend!"he approaches and kisses me.
He goes away without saying a word anymore.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №62773
 13.04.2012
I am also returning from a business trip on January 1. time of 10 hours. I will be father. The further dialogue:
I: Happy New Year! Where is Mother?
The Father: I don’t know. She grabbed the dog behind her neck and led it somewhere.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №62772
 13.04.2012
The dreamer of:

Q: I have a dream.
When I get rich, I will create my company and name it "AOA".
and will have: OAO "AOA" :D"

You also name your company LLC "Olo" and imagine yourself:
Director of Ollo!

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62771
 13.04.2012
I will say:

So tell me - why can I fuck in any state, and she, shit, always has a headache?! to

Therefore it hurts that you lie down to her when you are in any state - that is, drunk in a sticker, smelling nicotine and / or garlic, not taking a shower, not brushing your teeth, not pressing these devil's hole socks, in pants of weekly freshness, etc.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62770
 13.04.2012
The sales chief was killed today. He walks into the office and says with a solemn voice:

Congratulations to all of us on Cosmonaut Day! Today Gagarin was born.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №62769
 13.04.2012
I talked to a girl-seller on Nevsky Prospect. Her stand in front of the expensive boutique was filled with pirate discs with classical music. It turned out - the golden veil, tourists just go crazy when they see the dvd "Don Carlos" with Pavarotti for 5£.
This is Peter ;)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №62768
 13.04.2012
Mendoza/12:30:23
Fuck... I’m trying to explain something to the client on those demands... pipet... impasse...
I ask him, have you ever worked in training or training?
No, I was forced...

We are hysterical here.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №62767
 13.04.2012
XX: Do you want to hide?

I was in shock.
I don’t know that both of our printers are Daltonic!!!!!!!!!!!!! to
Is it fucking like you?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna